My Endorphine 1: The Path of Love

What Have I Done?

Now Luhan is alone in the back garden of the school. He pondered. His mind is hard to pin down. Head hurts. Heart too.

“Luhan.. How?” Ask Lien.

"..." - ".Luhan just shook his head.

“So, it really goes... It's so evil not to tell us...”.

“Don't blame him! Just think of what we've done to her!” Luhan said rather loudly.

“Always like this.. When it comes to Sava, you're gonna yell at me. You're what's wrong? What's wrong with you?” Lien asked annoyed.

“You asked what's wrong with me?”

“Of course! You always put me in the wrong place.”

“You should ask what's wrong with us? What have we done? We make him go. We got rid of him!” Luhan's reply sounded miry. “Lien..”.

“...” Lien simply fell silent.

“I'm sorry..”

“I always forgive you.”

“I don't think I can continue our relationship.” Said Luhan suddenly.

“...” Lien is silent again.

“I can no longer. It's heavy. very heavy... My chest feels tight.” Luhan held onto his chest which indeed felt very claustrophobic.

Lien could not bear to see Luhan like that. His heart was actually also very wounded. He's been tormented all along.

“I know. I'm sober. I get it. Everything we do gets him hurt. Makes pain. Makes us both feel the pain...”.

“Lien.. You..”

“Yes.. I-i know.. All this time what you've seen is SAVA not me.. Even after we've dated. When you're with me, your eyes always look towards Sava. Your gaze is different, you worry about it.” Lien began to reveal her heart.

“…”

“Not only that, actually I've been aware of it for a long time. I just need to make sure.. You've been harboring feelings for Sava for a long time, haven't you? What have you done to all the men trying to get close to Sava? You beat them all up. You used your power to threaten them to stay away from Sava.” Lien began to shed tears.

“Li..Lien..”

“If you're with me, you'll get angry and tend to be rude. But it's a lot different when you're with Sava. You'll be very nice to him. I know Sava is kind, smart, loving, and gentle. While me? Haha, I'm stubborn, I speak harshly. Sometimes I envy Sava.. Why are you so considerate of him? Your best friend is not just him.” Lien cried.

“I'm sorry..” Luhan looks so sorry.

Luhan had no idea that his treatment would make Lien feel distinguished.

“You became a playboy what because of Sava?”

“…”

“Ck, as expected.”

“Hn, he's my reason for that. I was just trying to throw away my feelings for her.”.

“Stupid..”

“I just don't know what to do.. Sava and you are my best friend. Friends that I can't possibly ignore..How can I choose one of you?” Luhan grew increasingly confused with himself who was unable to do anything.

“If you like her, ah even love her as a woman, I honestly don't mind that.. I'd be happy if Sava was your lover. At least someone understands you better than yourself.”

“All has happened. Late.”

“I can't explain.. Sorry.”.

“Will you also be able to forgive me if I tell you the truth?” Ask Lien.

“Tell honestly how?” Luhan asked curiously.

Lien took a slow breath and exhaled.

“I hurt Sava, Han. I accept you not because I love you. Ak... I'm just upset at Sava... to myself..” Lien replied.

Lien was still crying.

“What did Sava do wrong to you?” Ask Luhan.

“No. But I was upset because... Why do the people I love all love Sava more than I do?? Even my loved ones love Sava so much..” Lien replied.

“So you like Ohsen?” Luhan immediately realized, the one who loved Sava sincerely was only himself and Ohsen. “It turns out to be true my guess.. Your feelings for Ohsen have gone so far apparently, Lien.” Inner Luhan.

“Hn.. Long before Sava knew Ohsen. Why does Sava like him? Why not me? I liked Ohsen a long time ago. We were friends at FB when he was in London. Why did Ohsen like him? Didn't I? Am I less beautiful to her? Is Sava more beautiful?.. Why did he choose the Sava? I don't care if he chooses someone else. But he chose Sava, Han. The sava he chose! I hate that.” Lien was upset but also sad.

“Do you need to blame Ohsen's feelings on Sava? Do you have the right to bestow your frustration on Sava?”

“...” Lien shook her head.

“Didn't you know that Sava rejected Ohsen?” Ask Luhan.

Lien did not expect Luhan's answer.

“Reject?”

“Hn.”

“That's impossible, Han.. I myself saw them dating together.”.

“Did you see their familiarity in school? No, right? It was because they were not dating at all. Sava rejected Ohsen. Ohsen himself spoke to me. Sava has other people he likes..” Luhan said.

Hearing Luhan's explanation made Lien feel even more guilty.

“Sava... Isn't he close to Ohsen? Who does he like? Is that Dio? Or was that man..” Lien stopped her words. He was confused about his own feelings. He could not understand the situation of his heart.

“Entahlah…. Oh yes, just before leaving he said he loved you very much.” Continue Luhan who does not want to know who exactly Sava likes.

To be honest he was curious, but he had no guts if it turned out that the man Sava liked was not him. He was too afraid to accept such a reality.

“The boy really.. Almost a month I didn't talk to him. I hurt her feelings. I did evil to him. I even slapped her cheek hard... But can he still say that he loves me? … What is his heart made of? And what have I done to him? He left before I could apologize to him.. What kind of friend am I?? Hiks.. hiks...” Lien said truly sorry.

Lien doesn't know what to do. He's fucked. He felt guilty for Sava. He should not have followed his ego. He should be able to hold back his emotions. He should have accepted the circumstances of that time.

Should, should, and should.

There are still many words to repeat the time that he cannot possibly reverse. It's all been happening. He can only regret it.

“Already..it is pointless we regret it! It's all been happening. We're all hurt!.. Now is the time we have to get used to living without him to the limit of not knowing until when.. Don't worry, Sava must have gone home after he achieved all his ideals!” Luhan.

Luhan stood up and left the crying Lien alone. Luhan shed his tears again. He had no intention of showing Lien his tears.

.

.

.

“So Luhan liked Sava for a long time? Then Lien likes me? Oh God.. What have I done..” Inner Ohsen who had eavesdropped on Lien and Luhan's conversation.