Loving you Painful

Episode 19's

"Do you still have feelings for Agneta?" ask Catherine.

"Cath, what do you really want to make sure of?" aiden's question on target had Catherine frozen in place.

"That-" Catherine fell silent.

"Then let's turn the question around. What took you away from me 5 years ago and left me. What made you avoid me, Cath? Is there something you're hiding and I shouldn't know?"

Aiden's gaze implying suspicion made Catherine misbehave and become nervous. As much as he could, he held himself back from saying anything that could embarrass him.

"The food has arrived. We'd better just eat," exclaimed Catherine as several waiters came to present their orders.

Both of them enjoyed the food in silence without a sound.

----

Catherine walked first to leave the restaurant after finishing her meal, heading for the car park.

"Catherine wait!" Aiden pulled Catherine's arm before they got to where their car was parked.

"What's up Aiden?" ask Catherine.

"You haven't answered my question. What exactly makes you keep me away? What happened that night, or is there something else you're hiding?" ask Aiden.

"Why are you so curious?"

"I need to do that" Aiden exclaimed firmly.

"It doesn't matter anymore" Catherine said, leaving Aiden but Aiden pulled Catherine's hand back until Catherine's body hit Aiden's chest.

"Tell me what happened, Cath?" aiden kept suing Catherine.

"Aiden, you're hurting me" exclaimed Catherine trying to get away but it was hard.

"Cath, look me in the eye and now tell me what you're hiding from me. Why did you just leave me?" ask Aiden.

Catherine sighed. "Let go of me first" he exclaimed.

Aiden released his grip on Catherine's arms.

"What was my day at that time I was just a stupid girl stuck with my own feelings" Catherine exclaimed, turning her face away with tears hanging from her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Aiden, I love you."

Deg

"I am a fool, indeed" she exclaimed with a small smile and involuntarily her tears fell from her eyes.

"At that time Aunt Elena came to see my father. He wants to make a family bond by marrying us. I was already in love with you, but I was too shy and reluctant to tell the truth. Then you just say that you have a woman you love and cannot accept this match. At that moment I felt rejected. But I was too hypocritical and thick-faced. I ignored my own feelings and said that I did not want this marriage either. Stupid, "he lowered his head accompanied by his broken cry. He was no longer able to hold back his tears that continued to flow down his cheeks without being stopped.

"I was so stupid that I was willing to let you take away my chastity and treat me as Agneta. I accepted it even though my heart was broken and it was very painful" he said, looking at Aiden with a very hurt look."I didn't leave you because I hated you or I was angry because of what happened that night. I really don't blame you, because I realize I was the one who stupidly gave it up. I am the fool for continuing to love you and hoping you will repay this love. I'm the stupid one."

Aiden seemed frozen in place without being able to say anything.

"I decided to leave because of this love. I know that at any moment I will never be in your heart. I realized that, so I decided to go and forget about you. But now, now you come back and the taste doesn't disappear at all" he murmured.

"I'm sorry Cath. I really don't know about this. I am also a fool for not seeing your feelings. I know what it feels like to be ignored, I also know the pain of avenged love" Aiden exclaimed. "I don't think you'll love me."

Catherine was just speechless, her tears unmoved.

Aiden's outstretched hand stroked Catherine's cheek and wiped away her tears. "I really love you and consider you my best friend. I didn't expect you'd love me. I don't even trust love anymore. I was traumatized by love and a relationship. I myself have no purpose in life. I just want to take care of the people I care about."

"I know, therefore I dare not wish anything upon you" exclaimed Catherine.

"Forget me, Cath." Catherine stared at Aiden's bead in the eye when she heard Aiden's words. "I feel like I don't deserve you. I really love you and consider you my best friend. I always hoped you could have a happy ending, unlike me."

Catherine smiled along with her tears that had broken back from her eyes.

"You asked me to forget you, but you didn't know. I'm used to the pain of being ignored and the pain of avenged love. I fell in love with you and now I'm in love with you. Maybe it's because you're too handsome" exclaimed Catherine chuckling small in her tears.

Catherine took out a necklace from her coat pocket. It was the necklace that Aiden had once given Catherine while they were walking around together.

Catherine stuffed the necklace into Aiden's pocket on his chest.

"Then we better not have to meet again. Job issues you can discuss with my secretary only. I really don't want to fall in love with you in this life anymore. Goodbye, Aiden."

After saying that, Catherine wiped the tears on her cheeks and left Aiden still in place.

Catherine chose to walk and exit the restaurant area. He came in Aiden's car.

***

Aiden sat down at the pantry table of her apartment and looked at the necklace that Catherine had left behind.

Every word Catherine spoke flashed in her head. Somehow there was a pain in his heart that he did not even understand.

There was a sense of unwillingness when Catherine chose to go away from him. And say goodbye to him.

He breathed a rough sigh while rubbing his face. She couldn't believe that Catherine could love her.

***