Let Time Talk

Accept me completely

As for the matter of appearance, my mother-in-law is really all out, and that's what she did to me as well.

" Aren't you going to Toning, Kinan? Usually young people like you, like to try new things." said the mother who saw me finished smoothing.

" No, ma'am, it will be covered as well.it will be that Mubadzir.." I replied. Actually I'm tired because for more than 5 hours I just fell asleep and sat down.

" Nobody is madzir Kinan, you will also look beautiful for Devan, your husband. Let him feel at home that deh..or you are afraid because there is a sign that the mother's grandchild will be present hmm..."maybe you think I'm worried about chemicals because I'm craving.

"Eh..no ma'am, today I still have a monthly guest.." I blushed. Sorry ma'am, we've had a hallucination of a mother who already wants to have a grandchild . If only you knew what was going on behind our door, maybe you would be hysterical.

" Hmm... It's okay, you guys keep trying, the rest let the mother pray...oh yes, but you think, Devan is a healthy man right? Can he do his duty well?" mom smiled meaningfully, making me misbehave.

"Ma..meaning?"

"Kinan.kita married adult women, not only men who need satisfaction.."mother began to whisper to me" Kalo Devan too soon out, but you have not enjoyed it...consult a doctor aja.biar mother interracial"

Mother's face as if without sin made me frown.

Geez.Mommy is getting vulgar.

"You don't have to be ashamed of your mother.you know she's very happy when you also think of her as a friend.." Mom rubbed my arms with a smile.

This is what it feels like to have a mother of friends. Even I have forgotten the affection of a mother, because for years I have not felt it.

" Anything .whatever your problem, talk to mommy yeah.."

" Yes Ma'am..thank you.Can Kinan hug mommy?"it seems like I'm getting carried away, while the feeling of missing my biological mother starts to make my tears well up.

She pulled me in her arms. And it looks like she managed to channel a mother's affection to me.

It was past lunch, when we got home. And the atmosphere of the house is still quiet, somehow where the two sisters who had asked me this morning to take uniforms for the reception the day after tomorrow.

"Looks like they haven't come home Kinan.you rest first..."

I nodded and walked to my room.

After changing house clothes, I almost grabbed the instant veil I always wore.

Is this the time...? I have to put an end to this selfish feeling, shouldn't I be grateful to have a new family that loves me so much.

The mother who considers me her own daughter, the husband who accepts me for who I am?

Saying bismillah, I decided to get out of the box where I had been to close myself. I will serve my husband, I will be a good son to my mother, may God give me the opportunity to give the mother a grandchild she so desperately hoped for.

Indeed, all this time I did not pay too much attention to appearance, let alone many other needs that are more important. Mostly I creambath if I receive more bonuses from the office, even because Tania is very noisy so that we can go to the salon together.

The sound of the door opening made me look.

" Have you gone home, huh..?How old.." I said as I approached him carrying some large paperbags.

I took the stuff out of his hand.

" Yes.tadi.didnearly to the house of his friend Ryan.." he said.

"Ooh..Have lunch?" I put the stuff next to the closet neatly.

When I didn't hear the answer from Devan, I turned to him. And our eyes met, and I saw there he stood looking at me with a gaze that was hard to confirm.

Geez.I forgot she first saw me without a veil. I timidly rubbed my hair, while arranging my heart which began to beat because of his gaze.

"E...no pantes, huh mas? I cut him a little bit.." I bit my lip, waiting for his reaction. I don't look as pretty as Tania, or maybe because the ex she used to love was so much prettier than me.

I sighed, maybe I didn't draw in his eyes. So what am I supposed to do now? If my husband is not comfortable with how I look, I should put my hood back on.

Unbeknownst to me for being busy with my own thoughts, Devan was already standing right in front of me.

" You're beautiful, I love it" her right hand rubbed my cheek.

I looked up because my body was quite short. My face felt hot.

"I.." There's nothing I can say for her. But there was a strange feeling as he started to pull me in his arms. Like wanting to retreat, like not ready, why there were various concerns when I decided to accept it.

"Thank you Kinan.we will step together, accept that I be your husband..."

My body is stiff, my heart and my feelings are out of step. How'this?

"Yes." I have to try to eliminate this fear.

Mas Devan let go of his embrace and kissed my forehead longer while rubbing my back.

" Oh yeah .I'll go for a while, I'll go to school and get some leftover files so I can do it at home, because I can take a full Sunday off..." mas Devan smiled at me.

" Hmm.iya, be careful, teacher.." I smiled with relief after our physical closeness faded.

He turned around with a smile still on his handsome face. Could it be me who made it that way? I should try to give my heart to him...