If You Love

Eps. 20. Winnowing

Brill, overwhelmed by anger, annoyance, and a host of other negative emotions, steps into his music studio, locking the door from the inside. Her face was flushed from the mother's room. Inside, Brill kicks an active speaker upside down. He almost slammed his favorite guitar. Fortunately common sense soon came, it was a memory quitar given by Susan, the first quitar raises his musical talent, through the quitar he knew the tones and began to sing.

So Brill headed for the drum and started hitting the drum as fast as he could. At first his irregular punch was just a random punch with no rhythm. His emotional outburst came to a halt when one of his drum sticks broke, completely he struck with all his might. Brill took a new stick and tuned a song on his music player, which flashed through his head was I Hate Everything About You, from Three Days Grace... Brill starts beating the drums following the beat of the song.

The loud flow songs that lay in his head were all played alternately, until he was exhausted by himself. Eventually Brill took off the drum stick and switched to his quitar, took the beloved instrument from the refuting stand then sat on a round chair without a backrest and began picking the quitar, this time the emotion has subsided when playing the drum earlier.

Now it was precisely the sadness that played in his heart, in his daily life he rarely met his mother and papi, but when meeting there was a disagreement, the interaction between them was always cold, somber, and sad, away from the warmth of love. It was always that they got lost in a destructive quarrel that resulted in disappointment and hurt her heart as a child. Everything was deeply embedded in the land of his memories and experiences.

Her feelings of sadness increased when she remembered a name, Rilly. a figure who was so eager to be found but blocked by the rules of the mother. It was saddened by the song he sang later...

🎶 Story A Moment ~Tulus

With you it feels good

Waking up from a dream I knew I wasn't alone

The sun is also brighter

With your sweet kiss I started to step up

I enjoy every second of mine with your name in my heart

I think happy and heart blossomed

You drive me crazy, bow my heart faithfully

Like magic you made me fall

But it didn't last long

You left me

You go on a question trail

Let's remember your words

You're not leaving me

Let's remember your words

Forever you are for me

Let's remember your words

Baby, love, you're everything

Let's remember your words

Forever you are for me

^_^

🎶 Grey Sky ~Tulus

It can't be that fast you forgot

Your sad tears then

Reveal all its shortcomings

All of me he doesn't have

The allure you have

Really, really, I want to protect

And after your wounds subside

You forget, I have a taste too

Then you go, go back with him

I've touched you, are you ashamed?

Under the wet gray sky

Where are you?

On the street night to Sunday

Where are you?

Sometimes the ringing still has your name

A few short messages for me

I don't know what you mean, I know

Dear you, I was wrong

Come on, write it in your diary

Explain if you have time

Under the wet gray sky

Where are you?

On the street night to Sunday

Where are you?

Did you meet with the satisfied?

Really how your heart feels?

Did you meet with the satisfied?

Really how your heart feels?

Under the wet gray sky

Where are you?

On the street night to Sunday

Where are you?

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How much time passed where what was in his heart could only be revealed through the song he was singing, no one heard, only himself, in his soundproof room.

After some time Brill sang his heart out, Brill put down his quitar and lay down on the black leather sofa, his second bed in the house, reluctant to leave the room.

A slow knock on the door rang out. From the way and the sound of the knocking he could guess who it was. Brill stepped slowly and opened the door letting Susan in. Oma Susan closed the door and sat in a high chair while playing music.

"From earlier oma knocked..."

Brill still did not respond, he knew his omen understood that if he was playing music the sound from outside would not be heard.

"Oma wants to sing..."

"I'm cape..."

Brill answered briefly while lying down again on the long sofa with the back of his hand closing his eyes.

Oma Susan is concerned about the state of Brill especially because it sees the emotional condition is still attached to the body gesture of the favorite grandson. There was no intention to sing, just to open the talk room with the granddaughter.

"OK..."

Oma Susan caught with her old eyes an upside down speaker and a broken drum stick on the floor. Oma Susan fixed the position of the fairly heavy object then picked up the drum stick and brought it to the trash can in the room. It must have been an outlet of his grandson's anger that was clearly illustrated when he passed by earlier. The anger that had gnawed at his grandson's heart came to the surface through playing music. On the one hand it's good, her granddaughter has a more positive escape, than she's running into the company out there through delinquency and freedom of association.

But Brill has been depressed his whole life ever since he was able to understand for himself the rules of his daughter that he did not understand why were so different from what he did to his daughter. It can destroy Brill, later he can ride black and can not control himself can even be a bad temper.

In this case his grandson had a problem, his daughter too. As an oma she felt the call of her heart that was more concerned with the emotional health of her granddaughter. In contrast to when his daughter Ingried was Brill's age, their relationship was intimate and open, she became a supporter of his daughter in all her activities, always present at his daughter's side to go anywhere and become the best friend for her daughter. The memory of that time, it felt like he had never scolded his daughter or had a big fight with her.

But what is happening now between his daughter and his granddaughter is the opposite. Did the princess not learn from him? Or all her busyness and accomplishments make her forget that she is a mom?

"Brill. if you want to sleep in your room..."

Brill did not reply, after throwing all his emotions by playing music he became lazy to talk, it seemed like all his energy had been drained unceasingly.

"Brill... oma can know what's going on?"

Brill was still silent, not reacting to anything, not even a movement of his body lying as if frozen.

"Brill... Oma is ready to hear what your complaint is..."

Susan's soft, unresponsive voice Brill. As moments passed by, Susan patiently waited in her chair, she knew Brill was motionless but that did not mean she had fallen asleep.

Susan hummed softly singing her favorite song, I Can't Stop Loving You...

Soon the hum changed by singing the Jim Reeves song with the lyrics in a slow voice...

Brill often accompanies Susan to sing the song, and Susan's oma voice made Brill rise up and reach for the quitar and start looking for a key that fits the sound of Susan's oma and then start following along with Susan's voice with his acoustic quitar quotes.

If it's like this, Brill will be able to talk for a while...

If the rush of naf*su, disappointment and unstoppable anger flow within and can not talk about it, ready to explode but the tongue is moody, coupled with severe sadness... singing can channel negative energy out of the soul...

After singing the song, Susan approached Brill, his hand stretched out to hold his grandson's head affectionately and then began to rub slowly. Brill closed his eyes and leaned back on the sofa. Quitar was still in his arms, he was enjoying the precious touch of Susan's oma, a touch that quickly permeated his soul.

Susan's actions have always been the solace of her mound. If there's no Susan somehow she's living her life. Oma Susan could always enter in the midst of her anger and help her relieve the rumbling volcano in her heart, always able to treat every festering wound in her heart, so that there is no dangerous eruption that destroys him, so that the swift disappointment and pain of the heart is always replaced with shade and peace.

"What's Brill?"

Brill opened his eyes. The soft voice as well as the gaze of the oma could always open her heart so that she could reveal what was there freely. Oma Susan would always listen to her talk, never press or press her, always patiently waiting until she finished talking made her feel that her opinion was important. It stimulates his brain to express his thoughts as well as his feelings.

"I want to go to Jakarta but my mom forbids it..."

"Ohh, it must be something important yes.You are usually reluctant to travel, go on vacation is not too like..."

Oma answered slowly...

"Yes, I want to see someone, he moved there..."

"Who? Wandy's? He's your friend right..."

Oma Susan knows Brill's friends can only be counted with one finger, it includes Markus, so it's no wonder that Brill feels like he lost Wandy.

"He's not Rilly.. His name is Rilly..."

"Who's that's a girl's name?"

Oma began to understand and became curious.

"Friends of class first.. oma know oma Betsy? Rilly the son picked up the oma..."

"Oh yes. oma know... Betsy's a member of the oma society, she also knew the girl, who often escorted Betsy right..."

"Yes..."

Brill answered quickly.

Oma Betsy thought, is there something in her grandson's heart for the girl, especially given her physical state?

"Oma didn't know that Betsy was moving out, it's fitting that her last meeting didn't come again..."

Brill looked down, the feeling of anger came back, the feeling that there was a desire to meet Rilly.

"Brill. oma will accompany you there, if you go with your mom there is certainly no reason to forbid, it's not for the oma the truth, it's for yourself.. can you?"

"Serious oma? What's?"

This girl was important as it turned out, her grandson was now so enthusiastic and excited... Oma Susan smiled...

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Hi.. sorry not to update, hopefully the future will be launched. thanks for your full support for Brill and Rilly...

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