Heaven Under Husband's Foot

FLASHBACK (Disrupted Asa)

Arkana dropped her body on the bed crying, she had been treated badly like this but still made her sad and cry like a child.

The pain she felt in her chest had piled up so much, she realized she was getting depressed and wanted to find something that made her feel better.

Arkana hit his head continuously and then grabbed it many times, the pain can beat his heartache that had been stacked into one.

“ Why? wh why? why am I always wrong.”

Arkana hurt herself for a long time while crying and blaming herself, shortly after which she got out of bed. He went to the bathroom to wash his face, he was so tired of crying until the night and realized that he also needed rest.

As Arkana finished washing her face, she saw the cutter knife she had stored in a drawer near the sink. At that moment he noticed the sharpness of the knife which somehow made him think of slashing his own hand.

“ If I die maybe mama will start caring for me, she will definitely come back to love me.” Arkana murmured with all her narrow thoughts at that moment.

Arkana had just slashed her hand to the point of spitting blood on the bathroom floor, which was why she did not feel any pain from the incision she had made herself.

Not quite once, he made a third incision in his hand and began to feel a sense of satisfaction that he had never felt before. The sad feeling in his heart was gone when he injured himself like that, yet he was conscious enough to stop doing so and immediately wrapped it in a bandage for his blood to immediately stop flowing.

**

Arkana has been self-harming ever since that day, injuring herself and treating her on her own. He had thought that the injury he had tore would be shown to Widya's mother, but until now he did not dare to do that.

Until one day when Papa Hendra realized there was something strange behind Arkana's wrist, since yesterday he always used clothes with long arms to cover his wounds. But papa Hendra realized that and immediately reprimanded him.

“ Papa see your hand.” Pinta papa Hendra when there were only the two of them in the room.

“ Untu what?” Arkana refused to show it.

Papa Hendra immediately pulled up Arkana's sleeves to look at her, and when it managed to open she was struck with so much wound plaster on Arkana's right arm.

“ What the fuck is this Ar? You hurt yourself.?” Guess papa Hendra looked at him seriously.

“ Is no business papa.” Arkana pulled her sleeve back and shifted her gaze.

“ This can not be in biarin, if you often do that later you yourself will be bothered.” Papa Hendra's.

“ Papa knows what about my suffering? Don't just advise pa, I have my own way so don't ever ban me. Remember, papa it's not my birth papa.” Arkana said before leaving Papa Hendra alone.

**

The wind was very soft at that time, Arkana was standing in the campus courtyard while looking at the sky that began to turn orange. Since then his mind was always chaotic until he finally found a suitable place to be alone, after returning from campus he went somewhere in a lake that had a large bridge on it.

Arkana was sitting up there alone, she was staring at her arm wrapped in plaster which slowly made her eyes wet with tears. She can't hold it all back anymore, Arkana feels she doesn't deserve to be in this world.

“ I'm not strong anymore, sorry I'm Nia.” Arkana stood up from his current place, he began to rise among the bridge's refusals.

He looked straight down where the lake looked very far down, he thought if he fell and drowned himself then his life would end.

Arkana dropped his body into the lake, he managed to get into the water and let himself continue to drown. He could swim if he wanted to undo his intentions, but back then he didn't want to.

Arkana opened her eyes, she looked up there was a speck of sunlight. Being in the water was so calm, she did not remember anything that made her heart ache.

Sayup-sayup he saw there was a shadow figure who jumped into the water, the figure slowly approached but his consciousness began to fade. Arkana thinks that what she saw was a hallucination, she doesn't even expect someone to help her.

**

“ Who saved him.?”

“ A SMA girl.”

“ Where is he now.?”

“ He's home.”

An unfamiliar voice had just been heard by Arkana, she was sure it was the voice of Widya's mother. Slowly but surely he began to open his eyes.

“ Why am I here? Didn't I kill myself.?” Arkana is confused.

Seeing Arkana who had been aware of making Widya's mother immediately approach her, Arkana glanced at the look on her mother's face that did not even look worried about herself.

“ You why else? Want to make mama shy huh.?” Mama Widya's.

Arkana hopes her mother will care about her after what happens, but she turns out to be wrong. Mama Widya's attitude is still the same as before, not even looking worried at all.

“ See your hand, since when did you hurt yourself? What would people say if they saw this, explained to mama.?” Throw mom Widya again.

“ If you are upset with yourself, you better beat someone else than hurt yourself. People will think that if you're crazy to do all this, are you deliberately doing all this so that your mom gets dragged in? People will assume that you are not a parent, that is what you want.?”

“ Since the beginning you should not have been born, mom regrets having given birth to you. Or you should just die while committing suicide today, there should be no one to save you from that lake.” Widya continued, who then moved from her place and left Arkana alone.

After Widya's mother came out of the room, there was someone who had just entered. Arkana glanced at the person and immediately wiped her tears away, Qania approached Arkana with a worried expression that made her cry.

“ You are not supposed to do all this, I have told you if there is a problem you can come to me right.” Qania looked at Arkana.

Arkana was just crying on her bed, she could not speak anymore after hearing her mother's words just now. Qania also heard Widya's mother's words earlier, she also did not expect that Widya's mother would say such things to her own son.