Guardians of the Heart #2
Chapter 21
“Yes natural if you want again the past, Key.”
I am currently talking to Arga who has returned to office in Bandung because the project in Sukabumi has been completed.
“Makanya, Ga, very upset every see Mas Raihan.”
“If see Lieutenant get upset too?”
I was speechless as I sighed when I heard Arga's question.
“Why?” asked Arga when she saw my reaction like that.
“Everytime see it.” I took a deep breath and threw it away heavily then looked at Arga, “I was as if reminded back by her betrayal.”
“Key..”.
“I know, Ga, know! If he is not entirely guilty in this matter.Kat Dimas, You, even Mas Raihan-pun said that he was only a victim! But you won't understand how I used to feel when she preferred another woman over me, or how devastated I was when I saw her engaged to another woman. I was devastated, Ga, completely destroyed back then!”
Arga looked at me silently then nodded in understanding.
“Sorry, I should have known.”
“I tried to be ordinary when I saw him chatting with Mas Raihan, but I seemed to be thrown back in time when I saw him put the ring on another girl's ring finger, she said, or when the woman with a big smile embraces her arm, although I know and realize it happened not of her will but because of a condition that she could not avoid, but still I could not afford, he said, Ga.”
After the day that I saw the Lieutenant talking to Mas Raihan, I was again struck by anxiety. On the one hand emotions again filled my heart when reminded of ‘betrayal’ the Lieutenant to me first, but on the other hand selfishness also raised the surface because I did not want to lose it back a second time.
“So now how?”
“Entah, Ga, I myself am confused.” I took a deep breath as I shook my head to look at Arga, “I don't want to lose her again, but the almost buried anger and disappointment now again made my chest feel tight.”
Arga nodded in understanding now it was her turn to sigh while leaning on the back of the chair.
“I understand your feelings.It must be hard to forget our partner's betrayal, as Irene did, although I didn't really cheat on her but she no longer trusts me as she used to, she said, he will be full of suspicion and will bring this up at all times, as if it is an eternal punishment that I must live with.”
I fell silent because I also really understand Irene's feelings, although maybe she was luckier because she didn't have to watch Arga get engaged to another woman and Arga-wasn't really cheating on her, either, he just idle other women but yes still it's a form of betrayal.
“Meet me salute you both.” Arga smiled at me, “You can still accept him by his side even if only as a friend, and he can stay by your side even though I know for sure you will be like Irene or maybe even more.”
“Oh believe me, Ga, I'm more than Irene. I've ever yelled at her, scolded her, even until I couldn't believe that I could do it all.”.
“But he stays by your side until now.”
I nodded confirming that.
“While I've almost given up on being blamed like this.”
“Ga..”
“I know, Key, I've made a mistake but I haven't done that big of a mistake, I just had time to admire and feel sympathy for him, he said, we never even talked to the two of us about personal problems or eating together or anything, I could have sworn it was never... is taking him to the doctor also a mistake?”
Arga was a little emotional when telling that, either feeling disappointed in Irene or herself.
“And it looks like I won't survive, Key, if Irene is still like that.”
Did the Lieutenant even think of giving up like Arga? I hope not if it is, I don't know what I'm going to feel at the time.
“Why don't you talk about it? I mean, you ask him not to always bring up your mistakes again.”
“Already, but he stays that way.I hope at least he gave me a chance to prove that I will not make the same mistake, instead of making me even more lazy to meet him.”.
“With him receiving you back, that's a sign he's given a second chance, Ga.”
“Yes, but for what? If at all times always bring up the problem.for example I was late pick up only five minutes, he immediately suspected I met Reva first. Or I was late in reply WA he suspected me again WA-an the same Reva... long time will be lazy yourself, key, if so continue.... You ever like that?”.
I shook my head.
“Maybe because now we are just friends so we feel more free with each other's privacy.”
“If only we could be like you.” Arga breathed heavily while leaning back against the chair with his body slightly sagging with his legs crossed, showing that he was very tired of what was happening in his relationship with Irene.
We both have pretty much the same problem, but from different sides. And somehow I could understand what the Lieutenant was feeling from seeing and listening to Arga, and maybe with our decision to be friends all this time was the right decision because it doesn't have to feel what Arga and Irene are living now.
****
“Arga is home?” ask me when I see me alone in the family room watching TV.
“Already, Yah.”
Dad sat down to join the NCIS series on one of the subscription TVs.
“Tadi, I accidentally heard your chat.”
I looked at Father who was now looking at me seriously.
“Iya, Kekey office cooperation with Mas Raihan's office in Jogya for resorts in Tanjung Lesung.”
Dad nodded in understanding.
“Dad, know who Mas Raihan is?”
“You mean besides Dimas' friend and your former boss?”
I looked up at Dad in disbelief, is it possible that Dad also knew about the Lieutenant?
“Yes, I know that his sister Raihan is his former fiance Yudha.”
I couldn't believe my dad's words any more.
“Dimas recounts what happened at Yudha's house on the day of your departure to Japan.”
“So... all this time I know?”
“We all know, Key.. maybe Daddy same Mother first know than you.”
I looked at Dad confused not understanding what he was saying.
“Yudha time it came to home.”
I stared at the new mom coming from the kitchen with a cup of coffee for dad.
“When? When I've gone to Japan?” I was confused by the words of the two people.
“From the day of your departure to Japan.”
Ok, now I really don't understand what I just heard.
“What does Mother mean?”
Mom looked at me for a while then looked at me, making me even more curious about what was really going on.
“When Yudha was still on duty in Cijantung, she once came here without your knowledge.” Dad started telling me stories made me look at him seriously.
“She recounts the accident that befell her, including what happened with her sister Raihan.”
I could barely breathe when I heard Dad's story, not believing that they had known all along what happened between me, the Lieutenant and Widy, he said, but they remained silent as if they knew nothing.
“So Dad and Mom found out about Mas Yudha betraying Kekey?”
“She... didn't betray you, Key.”.
“He betrayed Kekey, even Kekey saw him engaged to another woman, it was his name still betrayal even if not of his own volition. Maybe Dad and Mom didn't know it because Kekey tried to keep smiling in front of everyone, but Kekey's heart really hurt.”
“We know, Key.. you are our daughter so how can we not know that our daughter is unhappy, she said, it was because of that reason that Father told Yudha about your departure so that at least she could tell about what really happened, at least that's what we can do to make you guys back friends like sakarang to make up for our mistakes.”
I frowned, “Error? What error?”
Mom and Dad looked back at each other before I spoke again.
“When Yudha came here told me what happened to her sister Raihan. We advised her to choose that woman over you.”.
I looked up in disbelief, my heart was hard to breathe, my body was trembling at hearing it.
“A-what does Father mean?”
“That day Yudha looked so confused because of the insistence she received from the Raihan family, she loved you so much and did not want to let you go but she also felt responsible for what happened to that woman.”
“And Dad advised her to prefer other women over me? Father's own daughter?” I couldn't believe that my parents would side with anyone else than me.
“Because we thought of you, Key..as a parent who has a daughter we understand very well how Raihan's parents felt back then when they had to see his daughter's life destroyed.”
“And my life was also ruined because of her loss.”
“Forcuse us, at that time we thought that you would be able to pass through. You are young, beautiful, smart and healthy, we think you will soon forget Yudha after meeting another man.”.
“Because that's why Kak Dimas tried to match me with Mas Raihan?”
I looked at my parents in disbelief when I saw them nod.
“We really did not know that the woman was Raihan's sister, Your brother hasn't seen Raihan in a long time so he doesn't know what happened to his family until finally the day they met at Yudha's house.”
I really don't know what else to say after knowing that the Lieutenant's decision to leave me had something to do with my parents, I could only look at my parents with disappointed and incredulous eyes.
*****
