Guardians of the Heart #2
Chapter 19
“Daritadi?” I asked while sitting next to the Lieutenant who sat cross-legged on the back porch playing guitar.
“New,” he replied with a smile.
“Where is it quiet?”
“Mother just went nganterin food order to Buah Batu she said.”
“Sama Dad?”
“Iya, same Bi Yati also.”
“If Dirga?”
“Main games with Aldi in room.”
I nodded in understanding.
“Arga connect no?” the Lieutenant asked without stopping his guitar quote.
“Ngehamputin.”
“How's it going? Already improved?”
“Already, it's true Irene just wants Arga to be honest, she did not ask because Arga would not want to tell the story so the stories just angry.”
“Thankful deh.”
“If Mas Yudha in Arga position, Mas Yudha will be honest no?”
“Hmm.. don't know too, must be confused anyway on the one hand afraid of our girl angry when we hear our honesty, but on the other hand it's even we feel guilty.”
“Means honest mending dong at least we will not feel guilty, about our partner angry is not it all risk.”
“Iya anyway, but if you become Irene, you will be silent or it is direct.”
“There are times when I want to test the honesty of our partner whether he will be honest or not, but sometimes can not stand also want directly nanya.” The Lieutenant smiled because he knew of my nature which could never hide my feelings.
Listening to the Lieutenant's guitar chant plus a gust of wind made me sleepy again and rested my head on his shoulder.aah, comfortable and peaceful!
“Singing,” I closed my eyes, but immediately laughed when I heard him start singing.
“Kekey bobo, ooh Kekey bobo.”
“Iiih... the real thing is.”.
“This is bener.”
“Don't sing it!”
“Singing what dong?”
“Hmm...the usual singing Mas Yudha mainin's.”
“It's still your PR, haven't been snapped?”
“Ckk.
I put my head back on his shoulder, I actually knew what song he used to play. When walking with Rey accidentally one of the shops was playing the song and immediately I pecked with a chest beating crazily when I realized what song the Lieutenant had always played while we were both.
“Hahaha... said Za let him hear this song.”.
The Lieutenant began to sing a song that no less made my heart beat with the first song when he heard the lyrics. I found it hard to breathe hearing every single lyric he sang, even when he had stopped singing, I was still speechless with my heart beating crazily.
“Za,” the Lieutenant called me gently to make my chest tight because of the sudden longing.
“Hmmm.” That's all that can come out of my lips.
“You heard earlier?”
“Iya.”
“We'll get through this all, Za, I'm sure.”
I nodded and I was sure he could feel it because I was still leaning on his shoulder.
“But, if Mas Yudha is tired of waiting for me. Tell me, I will let you go and support you like all this time Mas Yudha always supported me,”.
“How could I be tired of waiting for you, whereas you used to be always waiting for me. But if you feel you have found someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, let me know… I'll tell him if he dares to make you cry or get hurt then he will die in my hands.”
I sat up straight with a smile looking at him, “Then like that who would want to be with me!”
“Intentional.”
“Hahaha.”
He looked at me for a moment with a look in his eyes and a soft smile full of longing that made my blood rustle, before he finally clucked while turning his eyes forward.
“Why be a crybaby again.”
“Hahaha.”
“This is Za again!”
He pulled my head back to lean on his shoulder made me laugh, but I went back to sitting upright which made him pull back my head and hold it back to keep leaning on his shoulder.
“Mas Yudha thinks I have two dual personalities or have a switch button to turn into Za or Kekey?!”
“Hahahaha.”
But I ended up leaning on her shoulder, my hand now clutching her arm.
“The pain will never go away, until whenever it will continue to imprint in your heart, but you can try to make peace with the pain to make your heart calm, and I think you have started to be able to make peace and make friends with the past.”
“I? Really?” I looked at the Lieutenant with incredulous eyes, the Lieutenant looked at me and smiled.
“Yes, the proof is that we are friends and close as we are now, if you have not been able to make peace with your heartache, I am sure you will hate me so much every time you see me because it reminds you of your painful mass.”
I was silent to the Lieutenant's explanation, it might be true.The beginning when I came home from Japan, every time I saw it I would remember the past even had time to spill my anger, he said, but now I never remember that painful moment again, but still I can't believe it like I used to. Is not a relationship a trust important?
****
Oh, yes... You want to know what song was sung by Mas Lieutenant earlier? Here is the song, do not baper yes read the lyrics…
If you're not the one, then why do my soul feel glad today?
If you're not that person, why is my soul happy today?
If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you're not that person, why is my hand so close to yours?
If you are not mine, then why do your heart return my call?
If you're not mine, why is your heart answering my call?
If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?
If you weren't mine, would I have the strength to survive?
I never know what the future brings
I never knew what would happen in the future
But I know you're here with me now
But I know you're here with me right now
We'll make it through and I hope
We're gonna get through this and I hope
You are the one I share my life with
You are the one who will share my life with me
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
I don't want to run, but I can't help it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
If I'm not meant for you, then why would my heart say that I'm your destiny
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Is there any way I can keep you close?
If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you, why am I crying in bed?
If I don't need you, then why does your name resolve in my head?
If I don't need you, why is your name echoing in my head?
If you're not for me, then why do this distance name my life?
If you weren't for me, why would this distance ruin my life?
If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?
If you weren't for me, why would I dream of you being my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
But I know all this is true
We'll make it through and I hope
We're gonna get through this and I hope
You are the one I share my life with
You are the one who will share my life with me
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I hope you can be someone who accompanies me to death
And I pray that you're the one I build my home with
And I pray you are the one who will build a house with me
^^^(If you’re not the one – Daniel Bedingfield)
^^^
