Guardians of the Heart #2
Chapter 2
Al immediately ran towards him like he had known him for a very long time, which he immediately lifted up high making my nephew laugh. He now looks at me still with a big smile on his face, one hand holds Al very lightly, even though he is quite heavy for the size of a 2-year-old.
“Genki desu ka?” (how are you guys?)
“Good,” answered me while taking my eyes off and returning to continue my meal.
Unlike when we only reply to emails during this time, seeing it again makes my feelings jumbled between happy and disappointment that re-emerged, he said, but for sure whatever it was seeing and hearing his voice still had a strong effect on my heart.
“You haven't changed at all,” he said as he sat on the sofa with Al on his lap.
“Still ugly yes, Mas.”
“Hahaha..” He laughed at Dirga's words that immediately got a delicacy from me.
“Still fierce too.”
I now glared at him after hearing what he said made him laugh again.
“You must not have eaten yet? Come eat all, Mother cook a lot earlier.”
“Most, Mom, tar only.”
“Tar when? You must be busy laying aside.”
“Eat first, Yud, Al let same Teteh.”
“Teteh already ate it?”
“Already, mothers who have small children if eating rich is not chewed, should speed if not so will not be able to eat.”
“Hahaha mom-emak is a hotshot.”
I frowned at the closeness of all the families of Kak Dimas who I thought had just met now but it turned out they were quite close.
“How's Japan? Happy to stay there?” he asked as he started eating.
“Lumayan,” my reply was short making him nod in understanding.
I don't know why I could be that blind to him, one side I feel guilty but the other side I am also not ready if I have to go back to being friendly to him like before even though I have agreed to be friends with him but still my heart is still hurt considering the past.
“Fun is also free, stay single she,” Dirga said with a laugh.
“Who says single? It's delicious!” I replied quite loudly making all my family look at me, in contrast to the Lieutenant who looked relaxed with his food. I also wondered why I was talking like that, as if I was proving to her that I had forgotten her.
“You have a boyfriend in Japan?” ask Dimas while looking at me.
“Iya,” I reply sure.
“Japanese?” ask Mom surprised.
“Not, Indonesian but his father was on duty there so he went there.”
Suddenly all was silent making the room become quiet, which was heard only the sound of TV and Al's whining that seemed to have drowned, making Teh Wulan directly take him to their room.
“Mom can rest easy now because Kekey's girlfriend is not Japanese, so I don't need to learn Japanese from Doraemon.”
“Hahaha, Mas Yudha really, Mom..
“But Suneo,” continued the Lieutenant made everyone laugh, hearing that I immediately frowned, fortunately my phone rang and I saw that calling me was Rey my friend in Japan whom I was telling you about.
“See this! He's calling!” I stood triumphantly leaving them all to enter the room and receive the call.
“Halo.”
“Hey, how does it feel to go home?”
“Fun and annoying.”
“Hahaha, why sucks?”
“Hehehe regular they always tease me.”
“Oh hahaha, maybe they miss you.”
“Iya.”
Rey is now telling me about her activities today and I am as usual a good listener whenever she calls or meets me, while outside the room there is laughter from the Lieutenant, Dirga, who is a good listener, Father and brother Dimas who were teasing Mom for not being able to be a Japanese son-in-law, made me want to join them.
Let me tell you a little about Rey Wiryawan, he is the son of the Indonesian Ambassador in Japan and has lived there for 4 years with his family. Physically he is quite good (in my opinion still far below the Lieutenant) just that the fashionable and up to date appearance makes it so attractive, very different from the men who have been around me who look indifferent in appearance and more integrated with nature, he prefers to hang out in cafes and malls with his friends who are indeed from the top.
It's different from my typeku all along, but he's also very good, he knows how to please a woman and how to apologize if he's guilty. She was late when I made my appointment, and she came in with a bouquet of flowers as an apology to make me forget that I was upset. That's Rey who always comforts me when I miss home.
I went back out of the room after I ended the call with Rey, I saw in the living room there was only Dad and Mom watching TV, I kept walking to the back porch when I heard the sound of the guitar, and that's where I saw the Lieutenant sitting playing Dirga's guitar.
“Where are the others?” I asked after having previously made up my heart if I would treat her like a friend, after all she now knew that I already had a lover which meant she also had to know that I could already forget her.
The Lieutenant looked at me with a smile without stopping his guitar playing.
“Dirga go, Kak Dimas again nemenin Kak Wulan sleepurin Al.”
I nodded then sat down on the side seat, listening to her melodious guitar-sounding passages before finally stopping and the Lieutenant put his guitar in the side seat.
“Why stop?” many wonder.
Actually it's not because of anything I want him to keep playing the guitar but rather because of the awkward feeling that I think after he stopped playing the guitar made my heart go back to craze.
“And you want a story.”
“Who wants a story?”
“You.”
“Engga, iiih GR.”
“Hahaha... Yes if so I just the one.”.
“What's it?”
“Nanya about your girlfriend it.”
I kept staring at him.
“So... is he good with you?”
I looked at him who was also looking at me, and to be honest I couldn't guess what he had in mind at the time.
“Good,” my reply made him nod.
“He loves you?”
“Sayang.” I answered without thinking just because I wanted to see her reaction, and it turned out that she still looked calm.
“You happy?”
“Blessed.” I answered back while looking into his eyes directly as if I wanted to tell him that I could be happy with other men.
He smiled again as he nodded before again asking, “So, how to stay in Japan? Like?”
“Why not ask I like is not the same him?”
He was silent for a moment and then laughed at my question.
“It doesn't matter.”
“Why not important?”
“Because what is more important is that you are happy, he is good and loves you, if you want to be not good or not dear to him he is a novice who tells him he is not you.”
I was shocked to hear his words, as usual he always gave me answers I never expected.
“If I don't love him, it means I also suffer from dong because I was forced to relate to him.”
“If you don't love him, you won't be dating him.. I know you, Key.”.
I'm still not used to hearing him call me with the same call as everyone else.
“I am your friend and guardian of your heart, not his friend and his guardian of the heart, so my concern is that your happiness is not the happiness of others,” continued to make me remember that he once said that now he is the guardian of my heart to ensure my happiness.
“So how does it feel to live in a country of people for months?” he asked again making me have to manage my mixed feelings for a while before finally answering him.
“Lumayan.”
“At first it must have been nice to see the snow, enjoy a different atmosphere, but after a few days we start kangen house, home cooking, we even miss the same hot jams as well.”
“Iyaaa, that's right!”
I began to talk at length about my experiences in Japan, and every time I stopped telling stories he would ask about anything that made me return to telling stories with passion. That's the lieutenant who can always make me tell you anything and he'll be a good listener.
Slowly the walls of awkwardness that I was actually waking up began to collapse, I myself was also wondering why I could open myself to him so quickly? Even though a few minutes ago I still felt disappointment, even though it was not as angry as before.
Maybe because of his struggle for a few months that never gave up on approaching me and actually acting as a friend. No more romantic or dreadful words spoken, no more longing and love words thrown when we were far away, just how are you today? Is everything okay? And I'm grateful for that, because then I can go back and learn to open up to other men, even though I don't fully trust them.
“How are you?” I asked, and I was still awkward to call him Mas Yudha as he used to be.
“I? alright,” he replied briefly with a smile and returned to pick up the guitar after hearing my story, as if his story was not as important as mine which needed more attention from him.
“Cheat!”
“Hahaha... cheat why?”
“I told you everything, you didn't.. the friend had to open up to each other,” my words made him look at me and then smile.
“Alright, friend, what do you want to know?”
“How are you?”
“Alright.”
“Sign cheating!”
“Hahaha... You are the news, I have replied that I am fine, cheats where?”
“Yes rich story I was dong, I'm the story kumplit.”
The lieutenant laughed and then started telling stories.
“I've told you everything in email, I am now a duty in Batujajar (Kopassus Place in Bandung) so if you want, you can go home every day. But Batujajar-Sukajadi is just as rich end to end, so I choose to stay in mess if I don't want my body crushed because I'm tired on the road.”
“Home once a week?”
“Yes not also, if it is a holiday and could have just returned to Sukajadi the same here, hitchhiking to eat, hehehe.”
I smiled at him, he looked back to the front while strumming the guitar chanting the melody of the western song of the 90s, I seemed to have heard it but I forgot whose song this is.
“If... Widy how are you?” I asked hesitantly, but to be honest I wanted to know the latest news about him and his former fiance.
“Widy? If about him you ask Dimas, he is more aware of Widy than I am.”
He said casually, I don't know how he can be that relaxed as if he's not affected by our current conversation materials. He came back to play guitar, with the same song, making me curious about the song he was playing.
“This is whose song?”
“Hehehe... find out for yourself.”.
He now muttered his tone while gazing at the distance then looked at me with a smile.
“Not Guess?”
I shook my head, he again muttered his tone while looking at me and it made my heart go crazy again. For a long time I never felt this feeling again, when the pounding spurred a rush of warm blood filling the chest.
“PR you, find what song it is,” he said while putting the guitar then standing, while I was still sitting trying to normalize the chest pounding that spurs, “Pease first yes, while I was still sitting,” he continued while ruffling my hair slowly and went away with my chest that seemed to want to explode.
“It's night, Yud, go ahead, tomorrow morning just go home.”
I heard Dad talking when I got to the living room where everyone was sitting watching TV. I looked at the wall clock and it turned out to be 10 at night, I didn't know we were talking for long.
“Nothing, Well, this hour mah still rame streets too, no need to worry.”
The lieutenant was wearing an armi green perka jacket to make it look cool.
“Later to here again?” ask Dimas while standing up.
“Kak Dimas return to Semarang when?”
“Saturday.”
The Lieutenant nodded in understanding, “Insyaallah my saturday here again, Brother,” said the Lieutenant before finally saying goodbye to everyone, and I shamelessly walked behind him to take him home to the terrace. He rode his bike and then put on a helmet.
“Later..” I want to say later contact me when I get to mess, but my pride as if locking my mouth makes me just down while playing my legs on the yard.
“What's going on?” asked the Lieutenant while sitting on the motorcycle and looking at me behind his helmet, I just shook my head in response to make him silent for a while and then turned on the engine.
“Yes, I'm going first.. assalamualaikum.”.
“Wa’alaikumsalam.”
I stood staring at his departure until the bike was completely invisible before finally getting inside the house and going straight into the room. I threw my body on the bed, thinking about today. Coming home to Indonesia with my family was something I had been waiting for the most while living outside, but to be honest with him on the first day of my return I never imagined it would happen.
I thought that if we met it might be awkward considering what happened before but it was completely beyond my expectations. Everyone seemed ordinary as if nothing had ever happened to us, and we were just old friends who had just met again.
Maybe I felt awkward at first, but seeing him so casually chatting with my family, we even had a chance to talk about the man who is now close to me, and seeing how to treat me made me start to feel comfortable close to him… as friends.
Yeah, because now he's just one of my friends nothing more! Our past story has ended in the star hill of Yogyakarta at that time. Even though I already knew the true story, and he was not wrong about it, but still my heart was broken. I may no longer be angry, it's just that I am disappointed.
Now I want to try writing a new page with a new story, while he will be in it but only as a friend.
The clock shows at 11 more when my phone rings.
I've reached mess, just want to tell you scared my friend worried.
I read the incoming message then smile, “Goodnight friend.”
*****
