Dimadu Tak Semanis Honey

Bonus #13

"Mother ..." Aksa's voice made us realize. Lee immediately removed his finger from the corner of my lips. I moved and approached Aksa.

Kusap. " What's up, baby. Mother is here."

"But, where's Papi?" voice jovial. He opened his eyes many times.

"What's the big shot? Papi same Mother from here. Why, darling? laper huh?" tanyanya while carrying a bowl of porridge provided by the hospital.

“With painstaking and affectionate, Lee feeds Aksa. No doubt Lee rubbed Aksa's mouth with his bare hands.

They chatted. Discussing Aksa's favorite robot. Optimus Prima and Bumblebee. A robot he used to play at home.

What the hell, that robot?

Huhh! why would I think it was from Johan. Johan's? why hasn't he called me? I want to know how Gisel is.

Tok tok tok tok

"Excuse me." I turned to the source of the sound coming from the door. A voice I know very well.

"Jo ...?"

She smiles. Enter with parcels and gifts. He approached me. For a moment we looked at each other with a smile.

"Where are you going? don't tell me, how's Gisel?"

"Ah, my goodness. How much do you miss me?" ask Johan.

"Isa. The narcissist never goes away."

"Gisel is good, I'm not good."

"Why? you sick?"

"Holding on to longing for you, it's more than pain." Geez! Johan, I don't know if there's anyone else in this room besides Aksa.

"Om, Johan." call Aksa. Johan turned his head, his smile gone as soon as he knew there was a Lee near Aksa. Then he looked back at me.

"That, Lee. He's my husband's cousin." Johan nodded. He walked closer to Aksa.

"Hi Aksa's. How are you doing, baby?"

"Good, Om. Gisel's not coming?"

"It looks like he's still shy to meet Aksa."

"I'm not angry with Gisel, Aksa wrong already makes Gisel sad."

"Om sorry, yeah."

"Yes, Om."

"Here, Om has something for Aksa."

"Waaah, what is this? great." with the spirit of Aksa opened the gift, aided by Johan.

"I'll excuse you for a minute." Lee got up, it seemed like he was uncomfortable with Johan's presence.

"Bapi, don't go." Pinta Aksa sulked. I saw Johan as surprised as Aksa called Lee with the word Papi.

"Stay here. Let me get out. I just happen to want to talk to Siti" Johan said. He stood up and took me out. I looked at Lee, as a gesture of asking for permission. He nodded small. I followed Johan's steps.

We walked to the canteen. We were silent until we arrived at the cafeteria and sat down. We ordered drinks and kept quiet.

"I'm really sorry about Gisel."

"Nothing. They're just kids. How's he doing? I miss that little girl so much."

"He's good, it's just that these days it's always moody. He seemed to regret having pushed Aksa."

"She's a good girl, must have had a helping hand until it was angry at Aksa."

"Hem. He didn't accept when Aksa didn't want to be his sod."

My hand, playing with the drink, stopped. I was very surprised by what Johan said just now.

"At that time, Gisel said that he and Aksa would be sisters to his friends. However, Aksa refused. Aksa yelled that she didn't want us to get married. That was why Gisel was angry and accidentally pushed Aksa to the current state."

"Astaghfirullah ..." I covered my mouth with both hands. It was sad to imagine what Gisel felt. He who so eagerly chose the twin clothes, he who so eagerly wanted Aksa to be his sister. And Aksa ... He refused in front of his friends.

"Jo .. I'm sorry. Gisel must have felt sad and hurt at that moment."

"No, it was I who thought of Aksa. He is very good at hiding feelings. As long as we are close, he always looks happy when his heart refuses. Maybe all this time he's been quiet, for keeping his mother's feelings."

Oh, dear Aksa. He did grow up to be a good, obedient child and did not ask for much. Always say 'whatever you want Aksa to do, the important thing is to be happy.'

I can't believe he could even do something that hurt his heart for my sake. I want to run to hug my baby.

"Siti, maybe it's better we don't unite, I don't want to hurt your son. Although ...." Johan lowered his head inside. I saw the sorrow deep in his face.

"Ju ...."

"Johan, what should we do? our lives today are not just about our feelings. There are children we should prioritize, right? after all, my heart was long dead, buried with my husband. I'm ...."

"It's okay. I-i understand. Can I ask you something?"

"Say." he reached into the bag in his suit. Put out a box that was exactly the same as the box he took out when he was about to propose to me.

"Here, I want to give this as a gift." she laughed bitterly. His eyes began to glaze over.

"Put it on my finger, Jo." I thrust my left hand at him. For a moment he looked at me. Both my eyebrows raised. Small nod.

With trembling hands, and tears beginning to fall, he grabbed my finger. Chilly. His hands are so cold.

Johan wore a ring with a black diamond on it. Johan's tears grew even more intense as he stared at the ring coiled around my ring finger.

I know how she feels. Merely, I did not treat his wound despite the fact that I was the only remedy for the wound he felt right now.

"Pretty. First I saw this ring, already deeply in love. I don't know why I wanted to make this ring a cover ring." she immediately wiped her tears.

"I love this ring, thank you."

"Hem."

Silent. We go back to silence.

"That guy. It turns out that you're watching you guys in secret."

"What?"

"Yes, I often see him around you and Aksa. The first time I saw him was when I visited your house for the first time. Even when we went together to the mall. And I just realized, he's a guy who secretly went to Aksa a lot when we were late."

What Johan said made me barely breathe.

So, what do I see not hallucinations or mere feelings?

"He's my first ex-husband."

Johan looked at me sharply. His mouth opened slightly in surprise at what I said.

"Before marrying Erlangga. He is my husband. Lee divorced me for trivial reasons. That's what makes me almost crazy for him. During the most difficult time, Erlangga was present to accompany. At that time, Lee divorced me to coincide with the passing of the Father."

Johan was more and more astonished by my long words.

"I used to love him more than anything in the world. I am willing to suffer for the salvation of his soul. For me, he is the source of life. Eventually, fate chose us to separate. I married Erlangga because she was very sick, she was so kind that I wanted to take care of her, keeping her in a good bond. I asked Erlangga to marry me myself."

It was hard when I told my story with Erlangga. For a moment I sipped the drink that I had stirred not because of.

"As long as I'm his wife, I get treated like a queen in this world. Not even if he hurts my heart. I fell in love with her. My love exceeds the taste that is there for Lee. To this day, I cannot love another man. In my heart, there is only my late husband."

Johan gave me a handkerchief, to wipe my tears. Erlangga always makes me cry when I remember her. A man who never implied a wound in my heart. Her pure love always stood by me, she never wavered with anything. For him I am the main one in this world.

With him I feel very safe and comfortable. The beautiful memories are never anything I forget despite the story.

Erlangga, my first love when I was still very ugly, ugly and poor. The man who made me smile while praying in the middle of the night. The man I first mentioned his name in prayer after Father and Zidan.

"Is that your life story? ah, if only Aksa would accept me. I will heal all the wounds in your heart" he said bitterly.

"I have to go home soon, Gisel too long I've left. Greetings to Aksa and .. and if you need anything, do not hesitate to contact me. I'll always be there whenever you need."

"Yes, sure. I'll call you when I need someone. Greetings to Gisel. I'd assume she was my separated daughter. Honestly, I'm in love with her."

"Hemm." me and Johan stood up. After paying, we walked to the exit. I drove him to the parking lot.

"Sites ...."

"Yes." I saw Johan speechless, then looked at me with one hand holding the car door open.

It was a shock for me to be unable to do anything as she hugged me suddenly. Just momentary. He took off and got into the car.

Astaghfirullah .. O Allah. Forgive me and Johan. As an ordinary human being, I can understand why he did that to me.

I stared at Johan's car, which was getting lost from sight.

Sorry, Johan .. I hope you find a much better woman than me.

"Cihhah! are you sad about his passing? I don't even dare to do that even if I want to."

"Lee?"

Whahuh? why is he here? did he see everything?

Athaghfirullah!

I saw Lee walking with both arms that he put in his pants pocket. He looks so angry.

Uh! why is my way of life like this, God. Why do so many love me, but I cannot choose any of them.

Mas, what should I do?

Connect ....