Dimadu Tak Semanis Honey

Bonus #4

..."I want you to understand how much I love you and be afraid of losing yourself. And even if you knew the shakes I felt how much I loved you."...

......🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺......

POVS. Lee

It hurts this heart, seeing the woman I love so much as loving someone else. No, she loved her late husband.

I remember how he loved me. It's just that this time I asked her if her love for me was as great as her love for Erlangga.

Do I really want to know the answer? guess not. It is better that I know nothing, than to know that his love for me is only a small part of the taste he holds for a man who does not even exist in this world.

Regret is a punishment that will never be forgiven. If at that time I did not run it, if at that time I could be clear-minded, if at that time I did not make a rash decision. Suppose ... Shit! why should there be a word 'andai' in this world?

My hands clasped tightly at the wheel of the car I parked not far from Erlanngga's grave. Where his wife and son are visiting him at the moment. Condemn this stupidity.

I saw him cry. Yes, it was a longing cry for the corpse that was under the mound of earth. She was crying and my heart was hurting.

This chest always felt tight every time he saw Siti crying for Erlangga. It almost broke. Be ill.

Like a madman. Every day I follow them wherever they go. Loser!

I can only keep it a long distance, I just want to make sure they're safe and well. There is no force for me to get close. To be more precise, I had no heart for me to share when I received the rejection from Siti.

"Sorry, Lee. Until whenever I can't accept kindness from you, I'm afraid there will be slander. After all, we are both on our own."

"Then make our closeness as a halal bond, so as not to be material slander people."

"I can't."

"It's been a long time. Erlangga is gone, is there not the slightest bit of room for me to stay?"

"Erlangga is gone from the world. Not from my heart."

I managed to graduate with the best ranking abroad, a successful businessman who had a squatting IQ when dealing with Siti. My brain has no solution and no way for me to get Siti back. Nelose!

Right now, I'm back parking a car in front of someone's house. The house is still one area with the house Erlangga, which is now the home of Siti and Aksa. Watching himself from a distance. Funny indeed, even I can not see anything other than the fence wall of his house.

I who was relaxed staring at the wall of his house, immediately got up when I saw Siti's car coming out. Immediately I start the car and sneak up to follow him from behind.

The car was driving down the road to a mall. Siti, Zidan and Aksa got out of the car after their car was parked. I followed.

Seeing him and Aksa laughing happily, I felt happy. The eyes were glowing, there was no more sadness in them. Her reddish face grew redder as she laughed loosely with Aksa and her sister.

Unknowingly, this mouth smiled.

They seem to be buying some school equipment for Aksa. Then they entered a toy store. And come out with two big pockets. Maybe it's a toy for Aksa.

After a long tour. They stopped at a gelato stand. Aksa and Siti are cool in choosing the flavors they will buy.

I felt clumsy as Zidan looked at me. We stared at each other in silence. Until I chose to forbid Zidan to tell Siti where I was. I put my index finger on my lips, as a signal to keep Zidan quiet.

Ah, I forgot, he's not even a kid anymore who's gonna talk what he sees. Zidan just smiled at me and chose to make Aksa joke.

For me, he's happy, he's safe and well is more than enough. Although I don't know until when I'll settle down like this.

It'sit's okay. What else am I gonna do anyway? my focus on him is on me.

Then where else am I headed?

Connect ....

If only Siti knew how much Lee loved her. But the heart cannot be forced. No matter how much Lee loves, he will not be able to force Siti to turn away from Erlangga who has gone to bring all the flavors that are in Siti's heart.