A MENTARY WITHOUT EMOTION

Owl

I went straight home to school, I didn't stop by anywhere.

"Haaa~ is tired." I immediately slammed my body into a soft mattress, without realizing I was asleep.

***

The sound of water gurgling at night, I immediately woke up and lifted my clothesline because the storm came with rain. All my clothes were still saved, I let out my breath of relief.

'Tok, tock, tock.'

Suddenly there was a knocking sound from the window of the room that was already tightly closed.

I turned towards the voice, a brown owl waiting behind my window, I immediately brought him in.

"Haa~ owl who is this? Let him wander in the rain like this."

I noticed her leg with a small letter on her ankle, I took it off and read the letter.

'Lucy....Oh Lucy's'

I haven't finished reading it yet, I threw it straight into the nearest garbage can.

"Don't add to my burden with your silly letter!"

I lay in my bed again.

The owl looked at me puzzled while tilting his head funnyly, then he flew up and took out the piece of paper I threw away earlier.

"What are you doing?" I was lazy with him.

He pecked at the paper, like he wanted to show me something. I let out a long sigh and picked up the paper again, I continued reading the letter while lying on my stomach.

'Lucy

Why didn't you come?

I know you've been reading from me at recess. If you have reason to forget.

I still have a chance for you tomorrow. I love you so much.

Come to the park.

After I shot my love at you. Let's kill ourselves together after that.'

My body instantly woke up by itself after reading the word 'suicide.'

"Let's do it!"

I don't know why there's a burning spirit in my heart. I also prepared the most powerful means of suicide for both of us.

***

I cleaned up and got ready to go to school. After neatly I took the bread in the refrigerator and also the chocolate jam, not forgetting I made warm milk for myself.

The peaceful breakfast...

Then the owl disappeared when I woke up this morning. Even though I had all closed the meeting, how could he escape from my house?

‘Mysterious Birds,’ I thought.

***

"Lucy!!!"

Niki called out to me from outside the house, luckily I was getting ready to put on my shoes.

"Would you have woken up?" ask Niki.

"Can't I wake up in the morning?" I said while locking the door.

"Yes that's okay, it's just that it's not as usual" Niki said.

We left together for school, I hope he doesn't realize about my bag, because my bag is bigger than usual. I put in items that are strictly forbidden to take to school, hahaha naughty me.

But for the sake of suicide I will take out everything I have.

During class, all the time I always look at the clock and wait for the time to go home, sometimes I peek at the contents of my bag to check if there is anything lacking. I always fantasized when I was bored, like there was a ball-shaped, blue creature with eyes and legs and hands, the ball was always exploring the contents of my book, and this male student in front of me, he said, I looked at him as an alien man, isn't it beautiful and out there is a cloudy world and there is a sweet sweet confectionary city, then my pencil was the most powerful magic wand and the contents of my book were forbidden spells.

My delusion was like a reality to me, it was a way of holding myself back from committing suicide, if I didn't imagine so much stubbornly I wanted to die even though Niki held me back on how strong it was.

Sometimes when I'm in a building, it's like there's a soft cloud I want to sleep on so it doesn't scare me into killing myself.

'Kriiiiiiiying~'

'Finally!' my inner self who arrived suddenly got up from the chair and hurried me out of school. I don't want Niki to see me go on a trip.

If I meet him, my suicide will fail.

When I got to the park, I looked for the person, I just didn't know what kind of person he was, he didn't explain it in the letter.

I decided to sit in the park and wait for him. Shortly thereafter... There were steps and shadows enveloping me.

A tall man with a black mane of hair came before me.

"Lucy darling. You're finally here."

.....

"Free, if you keep waiting for him, you will be left behind, he will never come back to you, but he will wait for you to be near him."