100 DAYS AFTER I DIE

Part 4 (What happened?)

why?, what is my fault, Rabb? , do you also test people who have not even returned? why should I! put this curse on someone else, don't you! it's too heavy, I thought as I was growing up.

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I woke up with a painful body, very sick.I immediately remembered the incident last night, it felt like I wanted to close my eyes and go back to fainting, or at least crying, my eyes feel spicy, do my tears dry up?? must have looked very chaotic at that time, I saw the father. apparently he did not sleep all night he approached me, and grabbed me..

Father: "you'll be fine2 son"

me :" Rizal kafartt pakkk, rizall.rizal see ghost pakk, rizal hakartt.. rizal don't want to sir", rizal",

Father: "Rizal, I'm sure this father's son is a brave man, right? jangn's scared, you're here, yaa"

Me: "yes sir, where are you?"

Father: "busy come home for a while, take clothes for you, why now you sleep again"

Me: "yes sir"

Father :

My father was my role model until I was an adult, he was an honest country man, a modern day warrior, he was my family's protector, he could be both firm and gentle, he is my Father, I want to be like him....

I fell asleep again, maybe long enough until I woke up maybe it was broad daylight, and I saw many of my relatives in the hospital.. they were crying, holding me but without speaking, I did not understand, what is this. My infusion was removed, I also started to calm down. I could walk and sit alone, he said, I glanced at him and for the first time saw him crying..

Me: "father, why cry?, you sad?" just plain

Father: "rizal, you're just thinking about something" he rubbed his cheek and held me tight,

Father: "you'll be a strong boy, won't you?"

Me : "sir,?

that day we went home, the father carried me as if he did not want to let me go, we got on my brother's antelope and headed to my house, somehow I still see "them" and I was not as scared as last night, it's like otaku said they're not apa2..

we got home, and I don't usually my house is very crowded, the neighbors are very much in my house, I don't know. once down, my other relatives immediately memeluku me closely, I know, and talking at length with the father, which is clearly seen the father is anxious, afraid, or sad, I really2 do not understand! 

budhe Yuni then carried me, my father entered the room, and I was showered with kisses by my neighbors and my brother, they cried, I saw them looking at me with the gaze I hated the most to date, they look at me with pity. gaze that somehow at my age is most reluctant to see people looking at me in such a way. Until at the age of 28 years I do not like his name pitied, I do not like his name, I'd rather be hated than pitied,,,,

my feelings became bad and sure enough, my father took me again, it seems he just changed clothes, and took me to the room.bapak memeluku very tight, very close,

Father: "Rizal, I'm sorry"

Father: "sorry son" this time calling me again while crying

Me: "paak?"

Father: "mother died son, your mother was in a car accident"

Jleeebbbb... How many times does jleb moment in your heart? For whatever sake I'm the new kid! why is it that when I still need you mom. ibuk has to go, momukk do you know the suffering of this child for a dozen years after the mother stayed?? haa??

a few times that question came up after I was a teenager...

I will skip the story about the funeral of my mother, my mind is still sick, every memory of the incident..

in short after my cry2ku, after the scream2 grim, and my call to mother to wake up finally mother buried in the nearest tpu. I still feel the tightness, I have to deal with this, I have to deal with this, when something went wrong in my senses, my mother left and at such a small age I was forced to understand that the dead would not come back to life ....

Goodbye Ibuk, mother is a woman I know 9 months 10 days in confinement, and the woman I just met and accompanied me for 6 years 2 months and 5 days.. buk died on Friday 1995...

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2 Days after that, I just slept and shut myself up... Lots of sightings outside the window every night, am I not afraid?, I am so scared!! I just let out my fear under the blanket, I cried, because my eyes were tired of tears, I tried not to squeak, I just bit the pillow....

"Hud, Rizal is afraid buk " 

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the incident lasted a week, you can imagine the trauma I received. The pain, the fear was like spinning in my head.. "Rizal wants to follow my mother" I said in my heart..

I lost my light from then on, I lost my cheer, I lost my laughter, I lost myself...

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