100 DAYS AFTER I DIE

Part 13 (Good bye)

I woke up when the morning prayer rumbled very hard, as if the muezzin's father had deliberately made me wake up. I rubbed my eyes, and moved the body so that the muscles were not stiff..

"not a dream, all this is not a dream", I let out a long sigh, I immediately abluted and performed the dawn prayer...

I finished praying, but I was still sitting on the prayer mat..

I was thinking about a lot of things, "hemmppp.. like the sari said, I have to stay alive and not be crazy"

I closed my service and prayed to start a day that would be long and heavy..

"all my thanksgiving I offer you, O Lord, a loving and loving substance, thank you for giving me health, and salvation, O Lord protect me from deplorable deeds2, brighten my heart with the light of your light, protect my relatives, and friends2 like you who always cover me, O Rabb, put the parents of servants to the best place beside you. amen"

I opened the door, and met the bowo om and his wife aunty sri..

Me: "om, thank you. Now I'm calm, I try to make sincere om.

om bowo: "yes, everything you go through there is a silver lining, om also feels the same loss as you, your father is a great soldier, and a father is even greater"

me: "father of a hero om, om the body of the father will be buried where?"

om bowo:",,,,," just fell silent like thinking how to tell me.

Me: "om, wherever you are buried it doesn't matter, because it's just a corpse"

om bowo: "deceased buried in aceh le, the body of your father will be buried with other victims, because the body is too long, because the body has been, if it will be sent here it also takes a long time because transportation access is still difficult there"

I just looked down, there was a sense of disappointment, what kind of child am I? even I didn't squish my parents who died, I used to be too small, now that I'm bigger there's another reality that makes me not even be able to tolerate it anymore.

Om bowo: "the most important thing now is your prayer le, as you say, it's just a corpse, your father is no longer there in the box"

I nodded in understanding..

I : "yes om, I understand, I help aunt sri first to prepare yasinan"

.

that night was a jasinan for my father, all my relatives, neighbors, and friends2 present, I focus on the strands of surah yasin....

"zall" Risa's voice shocked me

Me :"iya ris  "I made a smile that made2

Risa: "patient, yes, I'm sorry"

Me: "thank you ris, I'm trying to be sincere"

Risa:"zal, how are you after this?, you are now alone at home,"

I just realized that now that I am an orphan, I will be alone here until I make my new family..

Risa: "may you be good2 only yes, if you go with your om often2 communication yes"

Me : "definitely ris"

.

that night after the event was over, om asked me to talk, but I dodged, I already knew the direction of the conversation he would convey. "i'm tired om, I rest first, tomorrow morning gapapa right" that's my reason, I avoid just wanting to think, and ask myself..

I thought, how is this?, my future, how?, father and mother have gone I am still 16 years old..what can a responsible teenager like me do. My mind2 is spinning, my mind is turning, I began to be frustrated.I do not want to be a burden for my omku family, although I certainly got the money taspen, but it was definitely only enough for my daily needs, because I also will not get 100% from the salary of my father while still active as a soldier... ahhh, what about my education?, my mind2 as a doctor? it will cost a lot for sure ... do I have to bury my dreams? hahhhhhh, I screamed with a pillow that I plumped on my face..

for some reason a split second later terbesit shadow2 father and mother..

My mind is like leading to think like a father.Don't give up like a whisper in my ear....

and terbesit back an idea, if I study and school better again is not impossible I got a scholarship, yes, I will be more diligent again studying, how do I live?, how do I take care of myself? there will be money taspen father, if not enough I will work, yes just a part-time to meet the demands of my school, such as books, photocopies, and other activities.Yaa yes I think it will be enough, it will be enough, and my father's money will be saved, of course, also for monthly expenses such as electricity, water etc. yaaaa I can. I'm big, I'm ready, I'm ready, I sat down and asked God for help to strengthen my intentions...

and that night I took a risk, to take care of myself, and what a risk I was prepared for was clear I was sure this decision would be approved by my father and mother in nature there..

.

That morning, I expressed my intention to om bowo, at first he objected because he thought I was too small, but Allhamdulillah I managed to persuade him..

Om Bowo: "you are indeed the son of my sister le, you are similar to your father, sama2 stubborn. ya om appreciate your intentions, but inget you still have this om you and your appointment, ou, whatever your difficulties please say the same om or aunt, you are her one2 niece, yes Rizal remember that"

I :"surely om, I will always need om's and family's help, and another one om...."

om bowo: "what is le?, by the way, do not hesitate"

Me: "dangkan2 look at me yes om"

om bowo and aunt sri smile,

auntie sri: "you don't have to ask, om same aunt will often nengok you  "tanteku rubbed my head while jerking

om bowo: "you have considered this child le, do not be afraid" he said while driving, yes our chat was taking place in the car, we headed to Semarang to put the tombstone of the father near the tomb of the mother...

.

Here lies Dra.Astuti wardani, a beautiful mother who loved her family.At the side of a tomb without any remains under the first lieutenant Hartono, S.E, an officer who had just received an increase in rank, a responsible father, who died martyrly helping others..

His body was buried in a mass grave called ulee lheue in NAD along with 50,000 other bodies, a tomb filled with tens of thousands of people without gravestones for each of the 2 bodies, but for me the tomb of the father here is not just an empty tomb, at least that's all I can do. so that the father and mother can continue together even though only through the tombstone...

Goodbye mother, a beautiful and courageous woman who left a son and a husband.....

good-bye father, a dashing, honest and loyal man, a man who does not want to remarry even after a dozen years of losing his wife when he was young, he chose to follow his wife and let a son live alone in order to become a stronger and more courageous man than himself..

"mr, mother.. Rizal loves you guys"