"If"

Epilogues

"Ndre" said Arlin

"I can't anymore" said Arlin

"It turns out the real thing that I've been expecting, I've never been wrong, you actually like each other, but do not know why you already have a partner each" said Arlin

Arlin shed those tears, "I can't keep gini. The person I love turns out that his heart is not for me" said Arlin, looking at me fixedly

I can't say anything and can only be silent.

"What don't you want to say? It's all true, right?" said Arlin, slowly

"I'm sorry, Lin. Sorry" I said

"So it's true" said Arlin

"Sorry" I said

After his departure. I took the time to come to the lecture while still in college, I walked through two rooms filled with memories. Balcony, I stared straight ahead blankly.

Before I go out of Java, I want to visit all the memorable places in Bandung. After being bored, I placed also came the cafe that I used to often perform there, the cafe was still two friends of mine. Sandi and Rendi looked at me as they were performing on stage. I just smiled knot sitting enjoying their looks.

Rendi got off the stage and pulled my hand, I was forced to perform by her. Sandi nodded her head.

"We all must have fallen in love. There must be some of us who can not express their feelings as we love. And, when we really want to reveal all that, it turns out that our loved ones have been with others, or left us. Until finally we can only remember, when - when we used to be with the people we love" I said

"Maybe this song can represent" I said

"Peterpan - all about us" I said

My memory of Livia just turned around. From the very beginning of my meeting with him, his behavior and all about him I still remember him clearly. Back then, Sandi probably felt I didn't know anything about her relationship with Arlin, so be it.

Arlin probably shouldn't have told him how either.

The night before I left for the island, because I was transferred, I accidentally saw Arlin and Sandi hand in hand, life was always amazing. May Arlin be happy with the person he is with. I hope. All this time I could not make Arlin happy and my heart turned out to be for Livia, it should have been before everything happened like now I express my feelings. The regret I continue to feel.

On the plane, before takeoff I pulled out my phone, then removed Livia's number. I turned off my phone.

It did not feel like I had been working outside Java for three years, that day I was asked to report my work to Jakarta, and after that, I immediately walked away from the meeting room. In front of my headquarters, I saw Livia standing in front of me and we both stared at each other, staring,

"Andrea" said Livia

"I'm sorry Ndre" said Livia

"Unfortunately I have to hurry and leave, hopefully we can see you later, I really want to talk to you now. But I can't" said Livia

Livia pulled out her phone, gave it to me, then I shook my head slowly, "I don't want you to miss my number. You are happy. Let me continue to be your past" I said, smiling

"Relax Ndre, you just lost the one you love. But he, lost the person he really loved" said Livia

"Ndre, can I hug you?" livia

At that time, I had not been able to answer. Livia hugged me tight.

I walked away leaving him there alone.

It seems Livia already has a happy family, maybe even already have a baby from her husband. I don't want to be among them, I've had enough of being in the wrong situation. Leave me alone for now. I believe that one day I can be with someone who is right with me, even though it feels like it will definitely take a long time. I'll be waiting.

One year after my meeting with her, I sat beside a mound of earth with lots of flowers, behind me was Haikal and Arlin, then there was someone beside Arlin. My friend, Sandi.

I saw the writing on that tombstone. It says Livia's name.

When everyone was gone, I was still beside the mound. I can only be silent. I ended my grief, because after all Livia must not have wanted to see everyone grieving for it, I walked away from her final resting place.

Far away, I saw Arlin was alone, Sandi just walked away.

I walked over to him.

"Lin" I said, slowly

"I didn't killusin you because of Livia. I just want you to be able to netapin your heart for whom. All this time I learned, it turns out we can love more than one person, but it can not be done at the same time" I said

"Do you know my relationship with Sandi?" said Arlin

I don't want to answer that.

I walked past him who was silent there.

Not far from him. I turned her body, then sighed softly, "Hopefully you can be happy. That's just my pesen, Lin" I said

"Thank you, Ndre" said Arlin

Some time after that there was a car approaching me and Arlin, then the glass was open, Sandi. Arlin walked around the car, then opened the front seat door of the car. Everyone has gone. I walked to my car which I parked a little far away, when I saw Haikal standing next to my car.

"Ndre" said Haikal

"I have to tell you this is the same as you" Haikal said

Haikal held my shoulder and looked at me so closely, his gaze was meaningful, "4 years ago I was divorced, Livia, I can't make Livia turn away from her love for you and I can't hold it all together" Haikal said

"I just want to know that. It's like that, everything is like the way it is, Ndre" said Haikal

His words made my world feel stopped at that moment.

I thought back to those last words. "Relax, Ndre, you just lost the one you love. But she, lost the person who really loved her" said Livia

At that time, Livia wanted to start a relationship with me. But, I who even though at that time also hoped, just thinking about Haikal who I thought would continue to be her husband, there was an unexpected factor at that time. They were divorced long before I met Arlin last time. There was no presence of children among them. All because they never did.

At the end of the day, we can only dream that if only we could go back in time, if only we could change it, but all of that will only continue to be a dream that will forever not happen.

Only the word that can explain all that.

That's right, if.

EXPIRE