"If"

Part 29 - Courage

I decided. I'm a day's pass.

At that time, I stood again near the wall of my balcony, and the sky that day looked cloudy, I didn't care if it was going to rain. I don't know what I'm feeling.

Suddenly Tania stood beside me with her hand holding the balcony wall, we met again. Coincidentally. I saw a bit of front and side hair was flying, even so the side and back hair was tied, so not so flying by the wind that blows. I don't know, I'm confused to explain the hairstyle. All I know is that her hair ties are good. Look beautiful.

"Tan" I said

"I want nanya?" say

Tania looked at me. The mood became quiet.

I looked into his eyes so tightly, "Why would anyone choose to hide their feelings?" say

"Maybe he does not want an answer that is not frowned upon, and instead of not all things must be voiced, sometimes we can only fret, right?" said Tania, smiling knot

"Maybe the man be a coward. He could not know if it turns out the person he likes it also has the same feeling" Tania said

"Back the coward" said Tania

"You are real" I said

I have to be honest about everything, I have to. I walked away from Tania who was confused by my behavior, along the way Livia's house. Later I have to honestly admit everything, even though I can't change anything about the marriage, at least I've been honest with him.

Arriving at Livia's house in Tangerang.

I opened the door of my car, then got down and walked to the door of his house, I pressed the doorbell slowly. Not long after that I heard footsteps approaching the door. At that time, Livia who opened the door and of course Livia was surprised to see me, Livia frowned because I did not give it to her.

"Hi, Liv" I said

"I wasn't told to stand up, not to come in?" say

Livia folded her arms, looked at me continuously and finally grabbed my arm, and took me into her house, "I brought you in, not because you were a guest. I'm afraid there are people standing right in my doorway" said Livia

"What do you want to drink?" livia

"Whatever is cold" I said

Livia walked away leaving me, "But. I make syrup wait" said Livia, smiling knots

Some time later Livia brought back a glass of syrup.

At first I was ordinary. But, over time I was also upset with Livia, how did Livia keep staring at me, "Do you care about it?" say

"You have a problem with Arlin?" livia

"You don't have to answer, it looks like it" said Livia

"Yes" I said

I wanted to tell him at the time that Livia was also one of the causes of my problems, or that was the root of the problem. If only I had been honest long ago, the story wouldn't have been like this.

"Where's the preparation? Soon the ring moved to the right hand" I said, smiling faintly

Livia breathed slowly.

I drank my syrup. Livia turned to me, then looked at me with happiness, "I still don't expect it, every day I feel like I'm still, really. Sometimes I'm afraid of how - how after the wedding" said Livia, smiling at the knot

"I don't think I'm ready yet" said Livia

After that, Livia told a long story about her wedding plans.

Actually I didn't listen to the story too much, my mind drifted to and fro. I just kept seeing that pretty face. The face of the woman I've been holding myself to, I just want to be honest and not want to destroy her marriage. I want Livia to marry Haikal. But, I still want to part with Arlin, because it feels like I never loved him really - really, I'm sorry.

"When are you with Arlin?" livia

"Will not materialize. Liv, I want to break up with Arlin" I said

The mood was silent for a moment. Livia's hand was on my forehead and I looked her in the eye, "It's all because of you, I liked you a long time ago. But, I'm self-conscious. You and Arlin have a different world" I said

"I have to be honest, I like you, Liv" I said

"Finally you can be honest with yourself, said Livia, smiling sweetly

"Yes, I know" said Livia

Livia slapped me hard right then and there, "That was me Arlin's deputy, just as I was angry with you. If you had said that, the story would have been different, Ndre" said Livia

"You can usually say that's when I'm getting married" said Livia

"I like you too, it's too late. Let me be happy with Haikal, Ndre" said Livia

"Yes, I understand that. May you be happy. I don't want to ruin your marriage either" I said, smiling

"Have you told Arlin?" livia

"Ndre, the slap I had was not as painful as Arlin" said Livia

"After this I want to say to Arlin" I said

"I want to be honest" I said