Your Officemate's

62. What Is Best For Us?

"The wall clock is in Uncle Johan's guest room, Moms. There's no way I've mistaken her, 'cause I like her model so much." Abbey explained her analysis, apparently she knew what was on my mind.

Geez! Abbey really embarrassed me for being caught lying, and was also cornered to the point of no longer being evasive. Though as much as possible I searched for a white wall so that Abbey could not guess my current existence.

Unfortunately, Abbey's sharp eyes found a unique wall clock on top of my head, which was accidentally highlighted by the camera. The wall clock is made of a combination of wood and brass, with the silhouette of a flying bird so as to depict the atmosphere of a beautiful afternoon.

I was confused what else to reason with them.

"So it's true that Mommy fought with Daddy?" Abbey still demands answers from me.

"We.. , there's just a little misunderstanding. Mommy needs time to think calmly. That's why Mommy's at Uncle Johan's place for a while." I decided to be straightforward while hoping they would understand enough of my not-so-obvious answer.

"You're going to school, okay? We can talk about it again at school." I tried to persuade them.

"Manda wants to be with Mommy today." this time Manda's tears have melted.

My eyes warmed up, my neck hurt to hold back the tears.

"Let's just go to Uncle Johan's house after coming home from school. Yea?" persuade Abbey to Manda who began sobbing.

I answered nothing, afraid that - if my tears would break. After all, my focus had also been split because again - again Aaron's cry sounded so loud. Aaron's not usually like that. Is he sick?

Next the expectant faces said I love you before ending our video call. Now I am alone with my heart that is getting hurt. I miss my kids.

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I don't know how long I've been here, enjoying a cold shower and crying all over. Hopefully this air shower can cool my brain that has worked hard in the last few days. And also, may all my heart aches flow with the water and disappear.

Over time, the cold began to spread from the tip of my foot and continued to creep up. But I don't care about it. Even when my lips and body began to tremble, I still did not care.

I hugged my body and curled up under the shower. I refused to move and re-think my children while continuing to feel the cold that spread throughout my body until it felt like it was getting into my bones.

What I remember next was a knock heard from the bathroom door. I heard it but my body couldn't move, didn't know if it was because I was cold or maybe I was still reluctant to stand up because I didn't want to meet anyone.

"Who?"

I tried to make a sound, but I couldn't hear my own voice. My throat was dry, my stomach was filled with ice. Next it was like there were a lot of needles - ice needles piercing my bones and the inside of my chest. It feels so cold.

•

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Oho! Why is he here? And what's he doing here? I didn't feel like meeting her this morning after I finished my bath. Was he waiting for me when I fell asleep?

No, I was wrong. I now remember I was taking a shower, but why was I in bed. And clothes? I looked under the blanket that covered my body, it turned out that my favorite kimono dress had wrapped my body well.

My gaze turned to the man who had made me feel betrayed. He was silent, sitting on a chair near where I was lying. Both hands covered his face. Both of his elbows he put on his knees. When I didn't know what to do, he lifted his face.

"Mommy, are you awake?" ask her with a worried and worried face.

"Why is Brother Hans here?" I was wondering, because I didn't feel like calling Brother Hans to see me.

"Do you still not want to see me Moms?' He asked again with a tone of voice that sounded sad.

I didn't answer, my brain was spinning trying to remember what was going on.

"Johan called me, because you haven't been out of the room since morning. When he was looking for you in the room, he found you in the bathroom. He waited almost an hour, but you didn't come out. When I came, I saw you lying in the shower. Your whole body is cold, and your lips are blue. A little late, you can - you can get hypothermia." Brother Hans explained in a voice like holding back a cry.

"I understand that you don't want to see me, and it's not a good time to ask you to come home." He stopped for a moment.

"I also know, it's hard for you to go home. But I also believe that you feel tormented away from your children. I promise, whatever you wish I will do. Even when the children understand, I am willing to part with you. If you really want it."

My hand squeezed the blanket on my lap, holding back all the tightness that came back to burst into my heart.

"Mommy, it's hard to make them understand. Abbey also kept asking questions and demanding answers. He even threatened me to become a rebel if you didn't come back. I'm worried about Abbey, not me. Manda didn't want to eat and drink this morning, she said, she just wanted Mommy. Then Aaron, he cried all day and couldn't sleep well either. Looks like he missed you. She also rejected all the formula milk I gave her, and only fell asleep after she was exhausted from crying." Brother Hans returned to face with his hands.

I know he's silent - silent crying thinking about his children. Our feelings are the same, which is the pity of children. There is nothing more burdensome to the hearts and minds of parents than children. Brother Hans was silent. I'm quiet too. The silence in this room was long as I was again occupied with my own thoughts.

"Mommy, do you hear me?" he said it again after a while we were silent to each other.

"You agree that we wait until the kids are old enough? Or at least, until I can give them understanding. I don't want to leave the bitterness in my girls' hearts." Brother Hans looked at me with a pacifier.

"Or, at least wait until Aaron can be weaned. At that time if you still want to get away from me, I'll let you go."

His face was so frustrated when he made some alternative offers to me. A mustache and unshaved beard make her look older than usual. Then the hollows and dark circles under the eyes indicate he is not getting enough sleep at the end of this.

I exhaled heavily, should I answer what are all these questions?

See you in the next episode....