Your Officemate's

60. War in the Heart

"Don't you miss your children?" ask Brother Johan to me.

Know where Johan's talk was that night, I flinch. Brother Johan came up to me, he hugged and even kissed my forehead as if he wanted to channel strength.

"You can cry, be angry and even curse. Wrap everything. There is no need to always look all right. Then return to your children. Miss you. Especially Aaron, he needs you so much." Brother Johan advised me.

My eyes warmed up, I didn't want to cry, but I admitted that my body felt heavy all day and I felt claustrophobic. I even feel dazed.

"Not for Hans, but for the sake of your children. Be hearted." continued Brother Johan when he saw me not answer.

"Don't Johan like me being here?" askaku.

Though I know for a fact, no one expected me to stay in his house more than Brother Johan. But this time my feelings are still too sensitive.

"Oooo. You know how I love you. I never mind. Even if you want, you can be with me as long as you want. But I'd be happier if you were with your kids." Brother Johan said softly while stroking my head. Whatever age and as old as I am, to him I am still his little brother.

I always looked good and strong from out there, but there was a storm raging in my heart. There is a sense of dissatisfaction that is silent - silence continues to rebel.

Honest in the depths of my heart, there was a feeling of inadmissibility because there was no punishment for Clara. She was obviously guilty of flirting with people's husbands but she solved everything with just one word - sorry. I'm not even sure that his forgiveness is sincere from his heart. If only by saying sorry all problems can be solved, what is the use of the police?

At least I want him to get social sanctions, I don't want his life to be okay after this.

To me, this is so unfair. He breezed and continued his life as if nothing had happened. While me? All day I kept the coals in my heart, which I covered by being nice - fine.

No one understands what it's like to go through the days when I live between yes and no. He was relieved and the next one became suspicious.

There is an uncomfortable feeling that always haunts me so I feel I have to be vigilant. No more feeling of calm, let alone believing in my husband. I fought against my shadow and my worries.

At that time what was in my mind was to get evidence and throw all the evidence into my husband's face. Next I will humiliate the woman in front of everyone so that she can not face the world.

A wife's instincts are usually right, the evidence I'm waiting for just pops up in front of my eyes. I should have felt victorious and cheered my success in proving my gears**and my husband. Yes, he is cheating!

Oh, it turns out the opposite happened. No satisfaction and applause. I didn't feel like I won one bit, instead I was devastated.

My original plan was that I would drag the two men in front of my brother. He who once said he could guarantee the loyalty of my husband, he was also the first to know. Let my beloved brother beat up my selfless husband. Besides, I knew my brother would gladly ruin the life of that shameless woman by making her unable to work anywhere.

For a moment I felt my heart stop beating. How ridiculous! It's impossible for my life to end just because of something like this. Sure enough, the next second I felt my heart pounding irregularly, and my hand shaking violently.

Instantly all the bad plans in my head were gone, evaporated, decaying with my body and energy. Fortunately, the rest of my consciousness reminded me that my children were waiting for me in the dining room. And it's possible that little Aaron was waiting for me to accompany him to sleep.

Hopefully, what I saw just now was just my hallucination. As soon as I got downstairs, Aaron greeted me asking for a sling. My little whiz hug feels warm and real. I was immediately sad, all the conversations and videos I saw were real. I failed to deceive myself.

Furthermore, Abbey and Manda's babbling felt like a buzzing bee in my ears. My mind kept looking for the best decision I had to make. But everything feels complicated. The only thing I decided in the meantime, was that nothing could change in the lives of my children. They should be happy.

To humiliate Clara is to expose the disgrace of the father of my children. The good name of my children will also be tarnished.

Seeing my children go into my room, my heart rebelled. This time I blamed myself for being too slow.

If I had told Hans to fire Clara from the start, it would be fine.

Why didn't I come out blunt from the start - obviously hating Clara? And don't I have the right to forbid Brother Hans from doing anything to do with Clara should I hit Hans and Clara right away when I find out my number is blocked? Why don't I forbid Brother Hans from working on Mr. Lim? No matter he's a VIP customer, refusing him won't make us poor.

What makes me most sorry is that I never really - really forbid Hans. It's possible that if I press more and threaten him a little, none of this will happen.

In the end, I felt God was unfair. After two decades of growing up with my husband, faithfully serving, honoring and loving him with all my heart, it turned out that God allowed all this to happen to my family.

I never prayed and begged to be a rich man with abundant wealth. To me, it's quite a healthy and happy family. Then we'll age together. Are my requests too much?

Any mistake, I can easily forgive. But a betrayal?

If I obey my pride and feelings, of course, the answer is, I will never want to be with him again. After all, seeing her will always remind me of Clara and her mistakes.

Regarding my children, if I may be arrogant, without a husband, I can still raise my children.

But once again Brother Johan reminded me, "Trust me, Rika. In real life, reputation is everything. Moreover, Hans and Clara's relationship didn't get that far."

When the heart wants to curse and the mouth wants to curse, but there are children's hearts that must be guarded. I chose to stay away before I made the wrong decision.

See you in the next episode....