Wulan In Night Wound

Chapter 26 Unable

The midwife asked me to downgrade ********* that I was using. From home mom has told me to use a wide skirt, to facilitate the abortion process later. After that I sat on a designated chair with the position of the legs that I placed on the available places left and right. My legs are wide open and my body is half lying down. I'm so ashamed of it.

To shake off my embarrassment, I observed the equipment provided by Midwife Lastri. There are various kinds of stainless steel tools that make me swallow because I was horrified.

"I am a local anastasi first yes. The curettage procedure is quite painful without anesthesia" said the midwife to me who had been wearing latex gloves on both hands. Midwife Lastri deliberately did not ask for help from her assistant because she wanted to keep the secret of this illegal activity.

I grimaced as a syringe was stuck in my feminine area. Then a scissor-like device was taken from the equipment table next to it. The coldness of the stainless steel tool I can still feel because of the influence of drugs that have not fully penetrated, making me creeps in fear. Makes my chest rumble and pound very fast.

"Stop, Mom!" I screamed for a moment as the device tried to open my womanhood wider.

Midwife Lastri immediately stopped her activities, looking at me who was then starting to cry with a questionable look.

"I'm scared, Mom. Hiks. I'm kasian, ga bear. This fetus could not even voice his opinion, whether he wanted to live or die. He's powerless. He's innocent, Mom. I'm so cruel, Mom. Huhuhu" I said with a sob.

"You changed your mind, son?" Midwife Lastri asked me softly.

"But I'm also afraid of people's talk, I'm ashamed" I said.

"Follow your heart, boy! The heart is never wrong, for the voice of the heart is a whisper of God"

I closed my eyes for a moment. Trying to ease the crying and rumbling in my chest. Take a deep breath and breathe out slowly. In my mind many times remembered the words of the obstetrician, "God will not place trials beyond the limits of His servant's ability".

Finally I opened my eyes again and stared fixedly at Midwife Lastri.

"I'm going to give birth to this child, Mom".

"I support whatever your decision is, son", said Midwife Lastri softly. There was a glare and sadness emanated from his eyes. Bu Lastri was amazed and compassionate at the choice chosen by his friend's child.

I tidied back the clothes I was wearing, while Midwife Lastri tidied up the equipment again. When we finished, we both went out to where my mother was waiting. Mom looked astonished when she saw the two of us coming out of the delivery room.

"Wulan will give birth to her, ma'am. After all, he was innocent", I answered my mother's question to her friend.

"You're crazy! You're not ashamed to be someone's gossip? Especially if you say you want to go to college. What do your college friends say when they see your belly growing up without a husband? I thought I'd make that decision!" my mother heard my answer.

"I don't care what anyone else says, Mom. We live and feed ourselves, not beg others. Why do we worry about what people say about us. And again, there is no prohibition that pregnant women should not go to college. Wulan is not ashamed to defend what Wulan thinks is right", I replied firmly.

"You don't know how to care for and raise a child. You think it's easy, huh?!" my mother's voice began to rise.

"I know it's not gonna be easy, Mom. But it's wrong to violate God's will. It's God's destiny that this fetus was placed in my womb, which means God believed me that I was able to get through it. Wulan has a plan, Mom. Wulan will definitely do all the best for what Wulan has chosen", I said trying to convince my mother.

"You don't know the weight of raising a child alone, the weight of a woman who bears the title of a single mother. A lot of bad stamps that people will pin on you. I only think about your future. Even though you can't be a good mother to you, you're still a mother's child. You also do not want to have a grandson who is not clear who the father is" said the mother ketus at the end of the sentence.

"Retno, try to respect your son's decision. I don't actually agree with this abortion. If I don't remember our friendship, maybe I won't be willing to help. We are wrong to go before God's will. We don't know what God's plan is for your son" Midwife Lastri chimed in, trying to convince her friend.

"Mom reminded me, yes! I'll be going TKW soon anyway and won't be embarrassed with you!" hatch mother.

"I'm sorry Wulan, ma'am. Wulan can not be a filial child for Mother" I said with tears that dripped.

"Already, already. How about we have lunch. It's almost eleven. You guys want to eat something? Want a bangil ga punel sego? It's delicious" said Midwife Lastri trying to melt the atmosphere.

Mom and I just kept quiet. Finally, Midwife Lastri led us to the living room of her house located behind the practice house area of her midwife. Midwife Lastri asked her assistant to buy a punel that was closest to her house.

After the meal, my mother began to ask me about my plans. I can't tell you what my next plan is because I haven't thought of any plans. Finally it was the mother who told her the plan that would become TKW.

It was already late afternoon when we finally said goodbye to Midwife Lastri. Lastri's midwife took us away to the front gate of her house. Waving and telling us to be careful on the road.

On the way back to Gayam Coral Village, Wulan and her mother just kept quiet. Wulan was silent because she thought about the next step she should take. While Ms Retno was silent because she thought, was the decision her son made right?