Wulan In Night Wound

Chapter 25 Dilemma

The next day, at eight o'clock I was in the motorbike of the mother heading to Bangil. The journey is quite smooth, there are no jams and obstacles at all.

Almost an hour drive we finally arrived in front of a spacious house painted in ivory yellow, along with a large yard. There's a sign that says "Bd. Grandma Land, A.Md. Immunizations. Check Pregnancy. KB. Giving birth 24 hours".

A woman I saw from her face, definitely in her early twenties, welcomed our arrival.

"Good morning, Mom. Can anyone help?"

"Lastri's midwife is there? Tell me Retno, her high school friend wants to see you" said my mother.

"Oh, there's Mom. A moment, I call. Go ahead, Mom, Ma'am", he told mom and me.

I sat and looked around. On the wall are some pictures. One of the things that caught my attention was the picture of the stages of fetal development from month to month along with the explanation. In my heart I was amazed, and reflexes stroked my stomach. Doubt has re-entered my heart.

Ten minutes waiting, finally Midwife Lastri appeared.

"Retno, how are you? Haven't seen you in a long time. This your kid? Wah has become a girl now, the time was brought here still SD if not wrong"

I vaguely remember my mother once invited me here. It was exactly a week after my father's funeral. Only now do I know the purpose of my mother when she came here.

"Yes, Las. It's my son, Wulan" my mother reintroduced me.

"What is the need to suddenly come here?", asked Midwife Lastri at last.

"Ehmm, look, Las. Can I ask for help again?"

"You mean, abortion aid?", asked Midwife Lastri looking at me. Guessing that it must be you who needs an abortion.

Finally my mother told me about what happened to me. I added that I could not get any precautions because there was no evidence of what happened that night. I glanced at Mom, and there was guilt on her face.

"Oh my goodness, Retno. Poor son. But yes, Ret. I'm afraid I'll get caught. The stakes for my license and practice permit will be revoked" said Midwife Lastri worried.

"I promise no one will ever know, Las. Besides, if anyone ever finds out that my son and I could be hit for doing something illegal. But this is for the future of my son, Las" my mother said pleading.

"Promise yes, Retno?" ask Midwife Lastri.

"Alright then, I check on your son first. Son, when was the last day you had your period?" ask Midwife Lastri to me.

"About two weeks after the incident, ma'am. Around May 13th", I answered steadily

"Haidnya profusely?" asked Midwife Lastri in a surprised tone.

"Only in the form of flecks, ma'am"

"It looks like it's not menstrual blood, but it's implantation blood. It is the process of attachment of the fetus to the uterine wall. Some women will experience spots and stomach cramps like PMS symptoms. So some people mistake these spots as menstrual blood. Then I'll just check it out. Please sleep there", explained Midwife Lastri then pointed to the single bed behind me.

I stood up and headed for the bed that Midwife Lastri had appointed. The midwife closes a circular mosquito net around the bed.

"The book was lifted a little, yes. Keep his legs bent" said the midwife giving instructions.

Then the midwife began to gently press on my lower abdomen. Lastri's midwife applied a thick, clear liquid that felt cold on my skin. Lastri's midwife pressed a device with a slight pressure on my stomach. At first there was a rustling sound, after being shifted there was a rapid ticking sound that momentarily disappeared and then appeared again.

After checking, the midwife cleaned the remaining clear liquid with tissue and asked me to tidy up my clothes.

After we returned to our seats, Midwife Lastri began to explain the results of the examination earlier.

"See from the fundal height, the estimated gestational age is 5-7 weeks. The baby is actually healthy, his heartbeat has begun to sound even though it is not so clear. The pregnancy is still very young, there will not be many side effects after the abortion process. Let's go straight to the delivery room to process" invite the midwife to me.

I started to fidget and bite my lips. On the way to the delivery room I sat down and my instincts refused. I recalled the picture of the stage of fetal development that I saw earlier.

Seven weeks, means now the fetus is as big as a seed of peas or peanuts. A fetus that big has a heartbeat? Does that mean he's alive? Innerku raging. Should I throw away this growing living thing? But what should I do if I don't throw it away?

I am*************my hands are starting to sweat. I was very nervous when asked to sit in a black chair on the right and left there is a place to put my feet.

My heart was pounding uncontrollably as the midwife prepared various equipment for the abortion process. Shall? Shall? My brain and instincts collided with each other. My brain tells me to think about the future and gossip people if I know I'm pregnant out of wedlock. While my instinct reminds me that what is in my womb is a living being, which is innocent and helpless.

Did Wulan perform the abortion? Can Wulan kill something that is helpless and can't even be said to be alive?