Wulan In Night Wound

Chapter 21 (As) Snatched by Lightning

The final exam lasts for three days. On the last day of my exam, I felt uneasy. The symptoms of nausea and vomiting I experienced again yesterday and today, even though I had eaten biscuits after waking up. I was a little less concentrated when I was doing the exam.

As soon as the exam was over, I rushed home. Since that incident, friends have often told me that I've changed. Always disappear during the break, and immediately rushed home when the sound of the bell sign that school time was over. I did it on purpose, because I avoided everyone.

The Deni gossip that had raped me had also circulated, but with a different version. I don't know who started it, but it was rumored I was flirting with Deni at once with Genk Kese. My schoolmates have already given me the stamp of "cheap women" or "spinning trophies. I do not want to bother with their babbling, so I prefer to disappear and avoid contact as much as possible with anyone.

On the way home I was still feeling uneasy. Think back to the last time I had my period. Remind me about two weeks after the incident that night, but only in the form of flecks. I thought it was because I was stressed. I put my worst thoughts away. But still I can't be calm.

When I saw the pharmacy across the street on my way to the house I decided to go to him.

I timidly opened the glass door of the pharmacy. A female guard behind the medicine counter smiled amiably at me.

"Emm, mum. I want to buy a pregnancy test. Anu, uh that. My sister who was married was the same as me" I said shyly.

"Oohh testpack? what model do you want?", asked the pharmacy employee.

"Huh?" I gawked not understanding.

Seeing me who was confused, the employee finally issued several types of testpacks, from cheap and simple to the most expensive. The pharmacy employee explained the accuracy of the measurement results of the tool which I think is not much different.

Finally I decided to buy three types, from the cheap and simple, the moderate price, and the most expensive. I did it in order to obtain a comparison of the results to be more accurate. I immediately put the tool I bought into the bag, into the deepest part of the bag. It's like I'm afraid someone will find it if I don't keep it well.

When I got home, I went straight to my room. As usual, I immediately changed my uniform with casual clothes. After that, I took out the tool I bought at the pharmacy. I forgot to lock my bedroom door. I don't know what the reason is, I'm afraid that someone will catch me holding a testpack.

I slowly read the steps to use the tool. More or less the same, for the best results using urine first thing in the morning when you wake up. But there are tools whose urine must be dripped and there are also tools that must be immersed in urine. Because it could not be used right now, I finally decided to keep it in my desk drawer.

Since there was nothing I could do anymore considering that the exam was over, I decided to watch television in the living room. In the living room I didn't watch television, I just changed channels many times. Until I finally got bored and turned it off.

I was confused how to spend time. Fret and worry dominated my mind. Finally I chose to drop off a large size traveling bag from the top of the closet. I put some clothes that I will bring to Surabaya later. Clothes that can be said to be appropriate for me to wear when studying as a student. My average outfit is very simple. For traveling clothes I only have four long jeans and a few strands of shirt and collared shirts. Sorting this out and that a little took my mind off the jitters.

It was already three in the afternoon when I decided to end my packing. I cleaned the house and prepared dinner.

"Next week Mr. Darma and Deni will come here to propose to you. Deni was serious about you, he said he liked you a long time ago. But you always sell expensive" my mother said.

I rolled my eyeballs.

"Deni doesn't like me, she's just obsessed with me. She felt challenged because it seemed like I was the only woman who would not look at her!" I answered spicy to mom.

"Whatever it is up to. Anyway after graduation you will marry Deni" said my mother flatly.

I just kept quiet and didn't respond. I was lazy to argue.

We finished dinner in silence. After dinner I cleaned the table and washed the dishes.

The rest of the night I spent rereading my favorite Harry Potter novels to fill the time. I read with no concentration.

I don't know what time I fell asleep, it seemed far past midnight. Suddenly I woke up with gasping breath and cold sweat at four in the morning. As usual, I drank a glass of water and went to the bathroom. When I opened the door, I remembered the tools I bought at the pharmacy. I immediately grabbed him, and picked up a disposable glass in the kitchen then headed to the bathroom and locked him up.

After holding my urine in a glass I immediately opened one of the plastic wrapping testpack. I started the test using the cheapest tool. According to the instructions listed on the packaging I dip the tool to the specified limit.

A few moments waiting, a line appeared pink and then followed by a faint line of pink which is almost invisible. I close my mouth that almost screams.

No!! No way!! The lines are very faint, it could be wrong. Inner panicking. The glass I was holding almost fell because of my trembling hand.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to calm myself down. I tried it on the second and third devices simultaneously because the urine method was dripped on the test kit. I waited for the results to appear. Eventually the results on the two tools appeared almost simultaneously. One device gives rise to a positive sign and the other gives rise to two lines. One bright, one faint. Although the faint line this time is quite clearly legible.

I fell on the floor because my knees were so weak that I could not stand up. Tears I could not hold escaped to my cheeks. It feels like my world is collapsing. My mind is so upset. What am I supposed to do? Many times it occurred to me to have an abortion. But along with that there is fear, heartlessness, guilt, and sin. I'm so confused it feels. A thousand unanswered questions popped up many times in my mind.

God, why did this have to happen to me? God, why is this cruel fate on me? God, what's my fault that you've pinned all this on me? That was the thing that Wulan repeatedly shouted in her heart. Unbelievingly. Mournfully. Angrier. Disillusioned. Helpless. Baffled. Necklaces. The raging feeling Wulan felt at the same time.