Trapped by the Wrong Raga

Chapter 35: I'm Not Male!

I decided to grant Vajria's wish because I wanted it too. For two weeks, we never made love again.

I quickly released what was attached to Vajria's body as well as my own. Until we were both innocent like two newborn babies. I am like a mother cat bathing her child. All over Vajria's body was soaked with saliva dripping from my mouth from being too lustful to lick every inch of his body.

Until finally I have placed myself right above the body of Vajria who seems to have resigned to what will happen next. Especially since earlier Vajria had indeed groaned and jumped because of the kiss I did on his entire body.

"Do, Nayl...!" the whisper demanded impatiently!

"I couldn't stand it either, Ra" I whispered and immediately slashed the tip of my sausage head into Vajria's body. "Ughs... Enjoy, Ra!" my er!

"Ah... Nayl...!"'s search...!" Vajria groaned and hugged my body tightly.

And we were immediately involved in a hot relationship where I moved my body slowly to create a sense of wonder for both of us.

But just a few minutes later, Vajria hugged my body tighter and whispered in my ear. "Nayl's... It goes deeper... Please...!"

I was stunned and my movements came to a halt with sweat pouring down! I looked at Vajria's face which looked amazingly beautiful while being drunk in love like this.

"Why do you want to go deeper?" my many.

"I want to give you real pleasure, Nayl.." replied Vajria.

"Like this too I'm tired, Ra..."

"But I want you all in, Nayl... Don't be arrested again...! Push it stronger! You did it when I wasn't conscious, right?"

"You will be in pain, Ra..."

"I don't care...! I will definitely be able to endure the pain and enjoy it!"

"But, Ra..."

"Mrubber, Nayl! I can't stand it! I want everything!"

I pushed my body a little and felt how my lower body was about to tear a membrane inside Vajria's body.

"Ah... Sickness Nayl.." - Shouted Vajria.

I could at least hear my Vajria moaning in pain, I immediately plucked it and stroked the wet Vajria forehead. "No, it hurts! Yes huh?! We have already!" I said.

"Who...! Don't wanna...! Why not continue?! The pain I can still endure!" ngeyel.

"No, Ra! You will be in pain again!"

"Who...! You're evil!" Vajria instead wrapped both of her legs around my hips and pulled her to press again. "Come, do it again! Please beautiful...!"

I can't continue this no matter how much I want to! I even remembered the message of his late Papa and also Brother Fathya who asked me to always take care of him.

Vajria looked at my face with a look of very disappointed eyes. I feel guilty but I can't possibly damage Vajria now. It seems like this is a good time for me to tell Vajria the truth.

"I'm sorry, Ra" I said, rubbing her cheek.

"Why are you, anyway?! You're not a man!" he said it pierced my heart.

"It's not like that, Ra!"

"Then what?! Have you ever done that to me?! Why now do you not dare to repeat it again?! You want to do it yourself!"

"No, Ra! I never did!"

Vajria widened her beautiful eyes. The shocked expression could not be hidden from his face. "What do you mean, Nayl?!" tanyakanya.

"I've never done that to you, Ra! I just want you to feel like you belong to me and to want you to turn back on me! I can't do it, Ra! I love you so much!" I finally admitted that I never took away her chastity.

"You're crazy." sizzled Vajria angry!

"I'm sorry, Ra... You you want to be angry, I won't go back mad. I have gone too far! I'm not as brave as you might think, Ra! I'm stupid! You've resigned but I don't have the guts!"

I pulled my clothes that were splattered on the floor and walked out of the room.

"Nayl!" exclaim Vajria!

I did not turn my head but stayed out of the room to go to the bathroom and then stayed in the kitchen with a cup of hot black coffee and a cigarette. It's sad to not be able to do what Vajria wants right now... But how else?! I love my red roses too much...

My feelings are fucked up right now! Sadness and a sense of not being able to blend into one that makes my chest feel tight. I wanted to cry right now and it turned out that I was crying... Wet eyes...

Why can't I always do that one thing?! Vajria resigned and surrendered himself voluntarily...

"You fool, Nayl! The pleasures of the world are real in front of you, but you are gone! You must be stamped as a weak and unmanly guy by that handsome and beautiful Vajria!"

I cursed myself!

What will happen to my relationship with Vajria?! I can't imagine... I'm afraid to guess... The main concern is what if Vajria feels angry because I have been lying all this time?! Then I was worried that he would also leave me like that time...

But whatever the reality is I should be able to accept it and it's impossible to keep lying to Vajria. I want him to know that I love him so much and don't want to ruin it. I want his body but not for now. I can still hold myself back to a time I can't yet determine. I just want to keep my promise to Papa and her brother to take care of her.

Another possibility is that Vajria considers that I am not a real guy! Not a real man! The proof to take away his sadism I was not able to. I am a loser! Right what he said, I'm not a man!

Whatever he wants to say about me... I was ready to accept whatever he would say to me...

No one will love him as much as I do! I'm sure of it! I don't want him broken, I don't want him to be sick, I don't want him to be okay...