Trapped by the Wrong Raga

Chapter 18: Slank Song Words

Nayl hugged my body tightly, kissed on my left right cheek. "You are so beautiful, Ra! Why didn't you ever dance like this when we were together?" whispered.

We're still together, Nayl... Our bodies may be separated but our hearts remain close...

"I want to." answered me accordingly.

"Yes, now you have breakfast. I'll go home first. Be careful on the road..."

Nayl broke away and walked back slowly away from me.

"Nayl's... Tell me you want me to stay here with you! Tell me you don't want me to go! Say, Nayl! I will definitely stay here with you!" my inner screams were hoping that Nayl could hear and tell me not to go...

But Nayl said nothing at all! Nayl got out of my boarding house and disappeared behind the door...

My tears are instantly spilling!

I took the black plastic bag that Nayl had brought and checked the contents. There's a tuperware box filled with fried rice. I immediately took it out of the plastic and ate its contents voraciously while shedding tears... There were probably a few drops of tears that fell into the fried rice and I still ate!

The best fried rice I've ever eaten and this fried rice means so much to me! Nayl got hurt cooking me this fried rice...

Nayl... I miss your cooking... I miss everything about you... I miss you!

After eating fried rice made by Nayl, I returned to tidying up my makeup that was a bit messy due to tears.

I then get out of the boarding house and wait for Mr. Ari in front of the house. Lily who had just come out of her room looked shocked and amazed at how I looked this morning.

"Jeez, Vajria?! It's not a dream, is it?!" pekik Lily while holding both my cheeks.

"Why dream?!" my many.

"You are so beautiful! Just incredible! Oh Allah... It's so beautiful my best friend!"

"Ordinary!"

"I didn't know you had a girl's shirt too!"

"From Brother Fathya"

"Finally you're slowly becoming a girl!"

"Haha! Tomorrow I'm back as a boy!"

"You want to be a girl what a guy also needs you is my best friend!" said Lily.

"You're also my best friend, Ly!"

Shortly after Mr. Ari came to pick me up, I also came by Pak Ari's car to a game center.

But all the way up there, I lost the spirit to play... I was no longer enthusiastic and my soul was not in my body...

I remember Nayl the beauty! What is he doing now?! The wound on his hand has dried up yet?! To the contrary or not? How did he feel when I kissed him? Why did he hug me so tightly?

"Vajria, are you okay?!" asked Mr. Ari at one time when we had lunch at a restaurant in the area of the game rides.

"I'm okay, sir" I replied.

"You from the moment we left until this moment don't seem to look excited. Are you sick? Or do you want to go home?"

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"But we played it for a while. Not good with Dad. Buy an expensive ticket"

"It's okay, Vajria. If you don't feel good, we'll just go home?!"

"Yes, sir"

Mr. Ari then took me back to his car and immediately left the place of the game rides.

In my heart I feel like coming home soon. But not to rest! I want to go home and then meet Nayl at his boarding house! I want to hug and kiss her! I'll tell him I can't afford to part with him anymore! Five weeks was enough for me to understand the meaning of his presence in my life!

I'm sorry Nayl... I couldn't stay apart with you any longer! I will come back to you even if you cannot accept me anymore.

I love you, Nayl... I love you...

I couldn't see the wound on your hand... I can't calm down while you endure the pain... I'll be here soon to take care of that burn on your hand...

Mr. Ari handed me a bottle of mineral water, "Drink, Vajria. Your face is pale" he said.

I received the bottle of mineral water and immediately opened the packaging. I drank half of it. I took a deep breath and rested my head on the back of the car seat.

And somehow suddenly a very heavy drowsiness attacked me...

I was also asleep...

*****

Nayl POVs

I've lived five weeks without Vajria by my side. I feel lost direction. I feel no spirit. I feel unable to anymore...

I need Vajria, not only because I love her, but I can't live without her... I feel crazy and sometimes want to disappear from this world if only I don't remember my Dad and my Mom...

Life without Vajria is hard... Especially during cold and quiet nights. I always thought of the togetherness I had with him...

True what the lyrics say Slank songs that I often play with my guitar.

Too sweet to forget.

If we never loved each other, it probably wouldn't have happened...

I am like a fish without water...

I'm like a shark without fangs...

I am like a beach without an ocean...

And most of all, this past week Vajria has been close to a stylish lecturer named Pak Ari who looks like me, ala rocker but I'll bet his knowledge of rock music won't be as deep as mine!

Vajria looks comfortable and cheerful with Pak Ari who is more suitable as his Om. I myself cannot forbid even if I feel unwilling! I haven't had any communication with Vajria since that fight... I had already deleted his HP number because I was worried that I could not help but be curious about his status if I still kept it.

And finally today I can no longer bear to not meet Vajria, I am beautiful but also handsome! In the morning I had cooked fried rice for breakfast which I would send directly to the boarding house. Even though my hand ended up having burns from hot oil!

But I swear, this is nothing compared to the heat of my heart when I see my Vajria near Ari the dangerous old man! I knew that Vajria today would go to a game center with him! I heard their plan when I was stalking them yesterday afternoon on campus!