The Third Party

8. Cannot Be Together

The next day my in-laws kind of deliberately kept me away from Damar. Every time I leave him in the room to do homework, my in-laws sneak into my room and bring Damar.

Several times akh ran because he heard Damar crying but aki did not find him in the room. My in-laws took him to his room. And if it's so hard Damar can come back to me.

"Mom, I'd like to see Damar for a second." I pleaded in front of my in-laws room. I've been here a few minutes but there's no word from my in-laws.

It's almost nine in the night and I haven't seen Damar at all. Another story is if I don't meet my son because I go to work, maybe it doesn't feel like it's going to hurt.

My son and I live in the same house but I can only hear her crying voice without being able to carry her. Every time she started crying my in-laws just yelled from inside her room for me to prepare ASI in a baby bottle.

My in-laws who bathed Damar, changed his diaper, put him to sleep, you could say Damar almost never escaped my in-laws hand. Even if he went out because he was having an event, he chose to hand Damar over to Heni, not to me his mother. Was I that bad in his eyes?

"Mom, please open the door. I just want to be with my son for a little while" I said again. This time I was almost crying because I had waited too long. I even sat on the floor in front of my in-laws room.

Slowly the door opened.

"Crsst ... Damar's asleep, let him sleep in my room tonight. You are tired of taking care of your home all day. And don't scream at the door, you can wake him up!" said in-law.

"But Ma'am ... " I haven't had time to finish my words, my in-laws have closed their rooms again. "Mom, I just want to see Damar, if you want to sleep with Damar please. But let me see him for a minute."

The door of the room opened again. I felt happy because maybe my in-laws changed their minds after hearing my words.

"Don't forget the stock of ASI that much so that I don't have to wake you up if Damar cries later!"

I really want to cry now. Maybe he hates me but Damar is my son. I'm the one who deserves my son no matter my background. Did my in-laws think I didn't deserve to be the mother of their grandchildren because I was poor? Does she think I can't be a mother?

I went to my room in despair. In my room I didn't know what to do. Even Damar's bed has been moved to my in-laws' room without my knowledge.

I lay my body on the bed. Tired up? Of course I'm very tired but these eyes don't want to be closed. I kept thinking about Damar. I knew she was fine in her grandmother's room but still my heart was not calm.

I grabbed my phone and I tried to make a video call with Handi. Maybe this will make me feel a little calmer.

"Hi ... You haven't slept?" greet Handi as soon as she sees my face on her phone screen.

I'm shaking. I don't know what to say. I also don't know how to tell Handi about her mother who seemed to keep me away from my own son. I also doubt if he'll believe it.

"How was your day?"

"I'm bored because there's no you here. How's Damar? Is he fussy? Does he miss his father?" tanyanya while teasing me.

I just smiled as I kept looking at Handi's face.

"Where is he? I want to see it?"

"House with mom, she was with mom all day. Even until now, I have not been satisfied with her grandchildren and want Damar to sleep in her room" I replied with a smile.

"Look at you, maybe mom's just happy to have another grandchild. His grandchildren are big. Mother Eka's son, the last grandchild, mother already wants Junior High School. So maybe now the mother is possessive of our child because there has been no baby in our family for a long time."

My eyes glazed over at Handi's reply. If only he knew how I felt.

"Emc ... You all right?" ask Handi. Maybe he saw my changed face.

I'm nodding.

"Are you sad? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying" I replied in a voice that began to rumble.

"You can't lie. Answer me Emma, why are you sad? What's the problem?!"

"I miss you Han .. "I replied with tears beginning to drip. I can't hide my sadness anymore. I wanted to miss my husband so much, but the reason I cried was not because of this longing.

Sandy laughed at my answer. "REally?!" ask her while raising one eyebrow, acting like a badboy. Usually I'd laugh if he did this but this time I'm not being able to joke because it's not about him. It's about me, my son and your mother.

"Please, Emm, now we have to separate like this. I'm trying to. I'll raise money so we can open a business, after which we won't be far apart anymore."

"Your savings were exhausted to pay for my operating expenses yesterday. Maybe you're right, I've spent your money."

"Don't talk like that! I will give it to you and our son. Money can be found! I'll work hard and start saving again" replied Handi in a voice that also started raucous. "I'm sorry Emm, I can't give you a decent life" he continued without looking at the phone screen. I know she's hiding her tears.

"It's worth it to me."

I don't know why these kangens can be so mellow like this.

For a while we were both dissolved in silence.

"Sleep ... It's already night." I'm ending the conversation. Sandy nodded and I hung up my phone.

Finished ending the call with Handi I heard Damar's voice crying. I immediately ran to my in-laws room.

"Mom Damar cried, let me suckle him" I said. My in-laws came out holding Damar. I thought he was going to give it to me but I was wrong.

"Where? Have you pumped your ASI?!"

I'm shaking. "Just give Damar to me. I can suckle her straight away no need to use a baby bottle."

I couldn't bear to hear Damar crying louder. I wanted to take Damar out of my in-laws' hands but he always turned around whenever I approached. He held Damar with one hand while the other hand he used to hit me as if I were a mosquito that would bite Damar. I'm afraid if I force Damar to fall and get out of his hands.

"Didn't I tell you to set ASI?! Why don't you do it?! Can you let your son cry from thirst like this?! You intentionally?! What kind of mother are you?!"