The Secret Love Story (End)
Make Peace With the Past
I don't want to run, but I can't help it, I don't understand
If I'm not meant for you, then why would my heart say that I'm your destiny
Is there any way I can keep you close?
If I don't need you, why am I crying in bed?
If I don't need you, why is your name echoing in my head?
If you weren't for me, why would this distance ruin my life?
If you weren't for me, why would I dream of you being my wife?
~If You're Not The One, Daniel Bedingfield~
I was still wrestling with my own body in the bedroom. I rolled here like a madman. My mind was muddled thinking about what Ara meant to say ma'af to me. I know that he has a habit of asking for ma'af immediately when he makes a mistake or feels guilty. But, feeling wet? Because what? I still don't understand, even though I was looking for the mistake he made me, I didn't find it. There are only so many mistakes I have made against him. And that one word "sorry" should have slid off my lips instead of her.
A song by Daniel Bedingfield reverberated melodiously through the little radio I played in my room. As if bewitched by the song I look at one by one the meaning of the song entitled If You're Not The One.
I don't want to run, but I can't help it, I don't understand
If I'm not meant for you, then why would my heart say that I'm your destiny
Is there any way I can keep you close?
If I don't need you, why am I crying in bed?
If I don't need you, why is your name echoing in my head?
If you weren't for me, why would this distance ruin my life?
If you weren't for me, why would I dream of you being my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know all this is true
We're gonna get through this and I hope
You are the one who will share my life with me
And I hope you can be someone who accompanies me to death
And I pray you are the one who will build a house with me
I wish I loved you all my life
I almost shed tears looking at the meaning of the song. However, it did not happen when Ares suddenly barged into my room and casually laid his body in my bed.
"Ish.what the hell are you doing... The door was made on tap, not play nyelonong aja, not polite to know," I said furious.
"Heleh...," said Ares, ignoring his brother. "Aerylin Bellvania Az-Zahra, the name of the author of the book you often read...Ara's sister, right?" ask Ares.
Erlangga who heard Ares's question immediately turned his body and stared fixedly at his sister's eyes. He frowned while asking.
"How did you know?" asked Erlangga with a frown.
"Hahaha.commonly my brother. Do not have to put on a confused expression like that..," said Ares while shaking his brother's arm. However, he knew that his brother still demanded his explanation. "Yes, yes.gue knows from mama. Her full name is Aerylin Bellvania Az-Zahra. And at that moment, I remembered the name of the author of the poem that you often read." explained Ares.
Erlangga was silent and did not respond to his sister's explanation. But then his sister again said something that made him forced to swallow his saliva so surprised and did not know what to respond to it.
"Sister..loe loves her, doesn't she? He's not just a loe college classmate, is he?" asked Ares who of course the question was like a bomb that suddenly landed on his head.
"What does Loe mean?" asked Erlangga as if he did not understand the meaning of his sister's question.
"Don't lie anymore, brother. Everything is clear. Do not think I'm the same mama do not know what you rasain same Kak Ara..," said Ares who made Erlangga increasingly frowned his forehead did not understand. "We know, brother, since the first time you saw him at the restaurant, your eyes never stopped a second from him," explained Ares.
Erlangga took a deep breath. He did not know what to say to Ares in response to Ares' statement.
"Gue doesn't know Res..," he said later.
Ares frowned at the sign of not understanding her brother's words. "You mean?"
"Gue really doesn't know what I'm thinking of him. I hurt him once and for that I feel very guilty. But then, fate reunited me with him at that time, and there was a feeling stored in me that I knew what his name was, and I knew it was, until I assumed that it was my guilt that grew back. But, it turns out I misinterpreted that feeling, I assumed it was just my guilty feeling to Ara, but my friends told me that it was love. They said if I just felt guilty about the girl, I couldn't possibly try so hard to find the girl and help the girl regain her memory." Erlangga explained.
"What's? Loe mean...Did Ara lose her memory?" ares asked with a face of disbelief.
"Yes, he had an accident a few years ago and lost some of his memory. And some of his lost memories are about me. And since then I've been thinking about whether Ara intentionally doesn't want to remember her memories with me because I always hurt her...,"
*****
Erlangga finally told Ares everything about Ara. Where the girl was originally only a friend of one institution who worked with her during college. However, as time went on they became close. Being close in this does not mean they are dating or anything else, it's just that they are like friends. Ara is always there when Erlangga needs, and vice versa. But, everything changed when Erlangga decided to return to Sabrina. Ara's attitude is ordinary about it, but somehow because of what encouragement slowly Erlangga himself who moved away from Ara.
Until then the friendship between the two became tenuous. Erlangga knows for himself how fragile his best friend is because he has no one other than himself as a place to share stories. However, he stayed away and tried to ignore the girl. Until finally the day of separation arrived and they were separated for a long time.
"Jad..so...don't tell me....he's the guy? Is she the one you always nicknamed the thesis printer girl?" exclaimed his mother from the doorway of Erlangga's room.
"MOM...!!!" say both.
"When did you stand there?" ask Erlangga.
"I've told you that you should wait until I get all the truth from Brother..," said Ares riled.
"Oh, so you're conspiring?" asked Erlangga who of course made his mother and Ares smile clumsy as if caught stealing.
"Sorry Gha, curious mama. You suddenly become a gini just like you were a few months ago. I don't want to work, and I don't want to do anything. Mama will be worried..," said Mama.
Erlangga snorted annoyed, but of course he could not be angry with the actions of Mama and her sister. Because however the reason his mother did so was because she was worried about him.
"So..is he really the one?" search mama.
"Yes, he's Ma's. Aerylin Bellvania Az - Zahra. She's the one I told my mom about, the girl who helped me get my bachelor's degree. The girl I nicknamed the thesis printing machine." said Erlangga.
"Then, is he the one too? What made you weird a few months ago? And make you decide on Sabrina?" ask her mother again.
"No, not Ma. Erlangga became like a few months ago is due to the work of Erlangga himself. Erlangga did not understand that Ara actually has a place in Erlangga's heart, until Erlangga had to be separated again with the girl, then Erlangga realized that Ara was very important for Erlangga," explained Erlangga. "If it is related to Sabrina.it is Erlangga's own decision.....,"
"Sister mean?"
"Since Brother can't find Ara's whereabouts, that's when Big Brother realizes that Big Brother must let go and get better. That's why sister decided on Sabrina in order to improve herself. Brother realizes that brother has often committed sins one of them is by dating Sabrina. That's why you try to get closer to God and become a better person again." Erlangga explained.
"So, you didn't decide on Sabrina because of Ara?" ask her mother who was answered by Erlangga's headband.
"No Ma. Erlangga did not decide on Sabrina because of Ara. Erlangga knew very well that if Erlangga decided on Sabrina for Ara, then one day Erlangga would also decide on Ara for the sake of other women. No. gabe..Erlangga did not want to be like that because it would only hurt Ara..,"
"So.....,"
"So...Erlangga asked God to always set Erlangga's heart on one woman only,"
"And that woman.....?" ask Mama and Erlangga's sister.
"Ara, still Ara, Ma. No matter how many years passed and Erlangga was separated from the girl, Erlangga's heart was only fixed on one name that was "Aerylin Bellvania Az-Zahra..,"
"Gosh..!!! is that why you rejected all the arranged marriages that you made?" asked his mother who was immediately answered nodding by Erlangga. "Mama did not expect that this one mama's child could already be mature-minded," said his mother while hugging Erlangga.
"Ma, Erlangga has grown up not a child anymore, mama do not hug shy ah..," said Erlangga.
"Everything is ashamed.all the reasons are. Tell me if you want Sis Ara who is curled and not mama," Ares said with a tickle to see his mother and brother embrace.
Erlangga who was upset with the behavior of his sister who laughed at him due to the actions of his mother who never stopped hugging and kissing his cheek like a child was immediately throw a pillow right into Ares' face. Which made Ares snort annoyed then until he left his brother and mother. Rahayu was satisfied to hug and kiss the cheeks of her child like a five-year-old toddler. He then looked at his son's face.
"You've met Ara again. Destiny seems to deliberately bring you back together like before. Then what are you waiting for?"
"I mean mama?"
"Son, it's time to get married. So, go to Ara's parents and ask her to be your wife, because I'm sure a girl like Ara wouldn't want you to ask her out. Aye right?"
"Yes, my mom was right. Ara did not want to date, and that was the principle that he held from the first. But, asking her to be Erlangga's wife isn't Ma's easy?"
"What do you mean?"
"Ara lost her memory of Erlangga, Ma. And that may be because he was very hurt by Erlangga's treatment that was quite harsh first against him. That's why he.he might....,"
"Don't think too complicated Gha. If you're guilty you should ask him for an apology immediately. Even if Ara loses her memory, you still have to apologize to her for your past. Regardless of after Ara wants to forgive and accept you or not, you have to accept the risk. Don't let go of the opportunity God gave you, Gha, this is your chance. Make this an opportunity to make peace with your past...,"
"Peace with the past?" erlangga asked with a frown to her mother.
"Yes, honey. Make peace with the past, so whatever will happen later you will not regret it in the future,"
"Is that the same as letting go and letting go?" ask Erlangga again.
"Of course baby. Making peace with the past is part of forgiving, letting go of or giving up on itself. When you are able to make peace with the past, your heart will be filled with peace. And that way, you will be easier to live your life in the future" said Mama while smiling knots at Erlangga. Erlangga nodded his head to accept the advice of his mother.
*****
