The Secret Love Story (End)

The Shadow Of Memory

Baby I think about you

And I feel it, deep in my heart

Maybe we just ain't meant to be something

Maybe we are?

I just wanna dive in the water, with you

Baby, we can't see the bottom

It's so easy to fall for each other

I'm just hopping we catch one another

~ No Promises, Cheat Codes ~

A few days after the incident he recalled some fragments of memories in his past memories that he felt something strange in him. He realized something he finally made a call to someone across the street.

Ara Calling :

"Assalamu'alaikum, Ma...."

Mahdi Calling :

"Wa'alaikum hail... Yes Ra, what's wrong?"

Ara Calling :

"Mas Mahdi is Saturday free tomorrow?"

Mahdi Calling :

"Yes Ra...,"

Ara Calling :

"Em...em...Why did the Mahdi come to Sragen ? There's something you want to ask, but not over the phone" explained Ara.

Mahdi Calling :

"Yes well, after all Mas is also planning to visit you tomorrow..,"

Ara Calling :

"Yes, that's it then. See you on Saturday. Thanks...,"

Mahdi Calling :

"Yes, same...,"

Ara Calling :

"Ofetishalamu'alaikum...,"

Mahdi Calling :

"Wa'alaikum hail...,"

Tuuut..tuuuttt.........................

Ara closed her call to the Mahdi. He was still curious about his past memories returning but only vaguely could be remembered. Until he decides to tell the Mahdi the next day when they meet. Now he again looked at his leptop featuring some photos in his mass. He snorted a bit loudly but immediately closed the display of the photos on his laptop monitor screen and immediately opened the file containing some novels he had written before that he had not finished writing.

But suddenly when scrolling through the selection of the files he found some of his poetry files and read one of them is a poem file entitled "All About You", it is not the file that then displays some poem titles in it. In his reading one of the poems in the file containing a collection of several titles of his poem with the same title as the title of the file while remembering when and for whom exactly the poem was dilusnya, because even though the date is listed at the bottom of the poem, he still does not remember who the poem was addressed to.

ALL ABOUT YOU

Maybe you'll never understand

Every word I engraved with ink on this white paper

Every taste that gushed with tears that accompanied

All about you, only about you

It's still about you,,,, uh,,,

A short story of your life you told me about

I will never be tired of explaining

With memories that occasionally explore

A thousand words that I'll never finish

If this pen carves each character into a series of your name

I only dare to write my race for you on this white paper

I only dared to tell Him in my every prostration

When the longing for you suddenly took hold of me

Let me love you even in silence

Let me still love you even though it is only through a hidden word

Which you may never understand

I want to love you like air

Which you won't see but can feel

I want to love you like the rain

Which will always come back despite falling many times

Maybe for you I'm invisible

Which you never knew of its presence

Which you don't understand his feelings

About you, all about you

And still about you..

Long story I put on this white paper

Every set of sweet words I stare at

And every do'a that I cast in my bow in the middle of the night

All aboutyou...

Still aboutyou...

And forever just about you...

"Who exactly is he, who inspired me in this poem?" ara's inner self when she has finished reading one of her poems.

*****

I'm not looking for him this time. No, of course not because I gave up, just this time I want to organize my heart first. Before I can find him, I will find out first what my heart really wants, so that when I meet him later my heart will no longer waver and will not end up hurting him like before. Well, I realize that too much pain I've caused her is because I can't decide where my heart should stay.

I feel comfortable with him, with him I don't need to be anyone else. I can be who I am because he accepts everything about me, whether it's his weakness or his strengths even though it is clearly my flaws that are more than his own. He always patiently faced me, facing my ever-changing attitude and I still remember when his friend called me "bunglon" and he just smiled to respond to it and remained patient with my annoying behavior. I know why to the point that I got such a predicate from his best friend, well..it's all because I always act arbitrarily to him which obviously maybe not only his best friend who gave me such predicate but all my friends who are also of course his friends if you see my attitude to him.

I can be nice to her, be cool, be cool, revile her, scold her or even silence her at just one time. Weird right? Yes, I was like that but what I was puzzling about was why was it only with her that I felt all those strange feelings at the same time? Whereas if with the others I only display two sides of me that everyone knows is good to some friends I like or be indifferent to friends that I do not like. I reopened the small brown translation of the Qur'an, a gift I received from him the last time I met him.

He wrote a message on the small paper saying: Congratulations on my friend's negligence. It's a little gift from me. Whether you think of it as anything: whether as a graduation gift, a birthday gift or a parting gift is up to you. Hehe... Maybe this is not something expensive, but at least with this can help you at least reduce your perverted thoughts. Read yes every day even if only one verse, "he said at the end of his note. I grinned a little every time I finished reading the Qur'an, which not only made me calmer because I felt close to God every time I read it, I also felt close to him every time I remembered the message. And not only that, I even remember how he used to express when I told him about the ugliness of me who likes to watch adult films.

The Flashback

"Ra, you know what...?"my many.

"No, you haven't spoken, how can I know...,"

"Ish..loe ya ya...," I said.

"Hahaha.joking Gha times, after all you usually also say that to me if I start my story with that question...," said Ara with a smile because she saw my face that was wrinkled because it was against her.

"Oh, so loe bales nie's revenge. No revenge Ra, revenge is a sin, you know...,"

"Hahaha.sorry.sorry really does not mean revenge" he said while still holding back his laughter. "Already.don't put on a tangled look like it dong. Smile." he said, displaying a smiling expression towards me while teaching me how to smile like him. "So nyambek nie? Well.no exclamation..," he said again."Story yes.ayol don't make me curious..," she asked and then seduced me so that I could continue my story that has not begun.

Flashback Off

I know that his expression was very curious and I also directly told him about many things. I told her about my life during school, about how my mother always forced me to take English classes, and even I told her about the first time I watched an adult movie. I confessed to her that I had watched the movie while I was sitting on the Junior High School bench. I told him the first time I saw the movie I was vomiting. But I kept watching it out of curiosity what actually made me vomit. Eventually, I started watching movies like that.

I saw his facial expression when I was shocked to hear my story. How not, I was known to be quiet by many people and our friends but I was instead like that. But, I don't feel sorry to tell him like that. I thought at the time that if he was a good friend, he would definitely not leave me just because I told him my bad. And I reaped the truth of my positive thought at that time that she did not stay away from me just because she was disgusted with me. He even helped me get into the little things like closing my eyes, even if I didn't touch them directly when I was staring at my sexy little sister, telling me to fast so that I can reduce my bad habits and the last one is to give me a little Qur'an that I have finished and still hold today while remembering past events with it.

Well, this Qur'an is the last way to protect me from my bad habits. How could it not be the last, because after the breakup I had not seen him for three years. Until when God allowed me to meet him several times, God took away his memory of me. And I don't know when or in what kind of situation God will bring me back to him.

*****