The Secret Love Story (End)
The Boundaries of Longs
When you’re gone, the piece of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone, the face I came to know is missing too
When you’re gone, the words I need to hear
To always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you, I’ve never felt this way before
Everything that I do remembers me of you
~When You’re Gone, Avril Lavigne~
Turn One Time
If I could repeat time...
I want to go back to that time...
The first time I met him...
It's okay even though in the end I know only the pain that I will get
When I chose to be next to him...
It's okay though my tears will run out from crying for her...
I just want to be with him..
Spending my days with him..
Even though he sat quietly without a sound..
Aerylin Bellvania Az - Zahra
Erlangga put the book on the table. He threw his body on the long sofa in his living room. Sofa with cream color that usually makes it comfortable after doing the routine all day that now does not work. A few more hours he fell on the sofa, but his eyes were not immediately closed as usual. His mind raged everywhere after reading a poem in a book he bought from a bookstore he passed from his way home from college. Just a fad to buy earlier because of his curiosity about the author of the book. It was like the name of someone he had known in the past. And it turned out to be true as he had expected. She was right the girl, the author was the same girl who always disturbed her mind when loneliness afflicted her.
How's the girl doing now? Where does he live? Is he the same as before? Isn't writing just a hobby? Or is he changing his profession to a writer rather than an accountant? Isn't it his goal to be a teacher? Keep on now he...
The questions that often bother him come up again. Now he often thinks about the girl. The girl he had hurt a long time ago, the girl he wasted first. I don't know if because of that guilt he always thought about the girl. Or are there other feelings that cannot be interpreted. I don't know..
His Dear God song Avenged Savenfold suddenly reverberated from his phone to make him aghast from his daydream. View the name listed on the phone screen “mama”...
Mother of Erlangga Calling:
“Ega, already home from college??”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Iya ma. Why?”
Mother of Erlangga Calling:
“Said saturday tomorrow you go home. The exam is over, right?”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Iya ma,,,”
Mother of Erlangga Calling:
“Yes already papa and mama and your sister are waiting for you at home huh. Cepet home..,”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Iya..”
Tut.tut.the connection was cut off. The exam is over. He just needs to refine the proposal for his thesis submission. No problem for a moment on vacation to unwind by returning to his hometown. It's been more than six months that he hasn't come home to his family. It was not the distance that made him reluctant to return to his hometown. Because the long distance can be reached with just a few hours of boarding the plane.
After all, he can go back and forth if necessary because there is no problem about finances in his family.
A few minutes after getting a phone call from his mother he returned to lay his body on the sofa. With eyes that he still tries to shut. But then his daydreams brought him back to the story of a few years ago with the girl.
*****
Four years ago on the phone...
Boy Calling :
“Assalamu’alaikum...Hello....,”the girl always starts a conversation on the phone with those two words..
Calling of Erlangga :
“Wa’alaikum greetings. Yes why??”
Boy Calling :
“Where are you?”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Di kosan's. Why?”
Boy Calling :
Calling of Erlangga :
“But..,”
Boy Calling :
“Loh, why belom? Chief Mother has told us all to finish as soon as possible. There's no more time. Still up to what chapter?”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Bab 3,”
Boy Calling :
“Hah..chapter 3. Not that he said you have reached chapter four huh?”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Iya already input, but continue to do not understand want to be flaain..,”.
Boy Calling :
“Hadehhh. That's why saying. If you can't say. There's me and the kids who can help. If you don't say we can't help you either,”
Calling of Erlangga :
“........................,”
Boy Calling :
“You can't live alone, if you can't ask for help gituloh..,”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Iya..,”
Boy Calling :
“Ya already tomorrow come to the lab tomorrow not helpin..,”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Iya, really loh..,”
Boy Calling :
“Iya, bye...,”
Calling of Erlangga :
“Okay, bye..,”
That girl was always chatty. I don't know how many unimportant words always come out of his mouth. The chatter is so many as if it never runs out of talk. But, behind the fuss sometimes there are some things that are true. Like his motivations or even other things. And the most important thing is his brain briliant. If you have talked to something that concerns the lessons of his brain will certainly travel down every science he has ever gained in school and maybe even elementary school lessons are still attached to his brain.
The chatty little girl always fulfilled the incoming messages on her phone. Contains many things, about the questions that Erlangga always asked about the lessons he did not know or even just a “hati-hati” speech that he always said every time Erlangga wanted to go home. But now the girl is no more. There was no time when Erlangga needed him anymore, requiring his motivation when his spirit was weak. Erlangga never understood, never realized before, until now he realized how actually the big girl in his life is not as small as his size.
“Huft....,”lenguh Erlangga while getting off the sofa and immediately rushed to the bathroom. He needs refreshment right now. One way is to take a shower. Aside from wanting to cleanse and refresh her body, she also wanted to clear her mind from thinking about the little girl.
*****
The time has shown at 24:00 p.m. When Ara's eyes had not even felt the slightest drowsiness. A few more pages, just a few more pages he will soon finish his novel. But, suddenly the red liquid came out of his nostrils. It's always like this, some days it happens a lot. His head will be dizzy instead of playing and even sometimes he often fell unconscious. Maybe this is excessive fatigue. He was too tired to be able to catch the deadline that the publisher gave him.
He picked up some tissues he always had at his desk. He wiped the fresh blood that was dripping while looking up his face so that not much blood would come out again. After feeling no blood coming out again, he focused again on the rectangular screen that shimmered before him. About two hours later he finally managed to complete a few pages less than his novel. Pain on his back can finally be slightly treated when he began to lie down and fall on the bed.
“Alhamdulillah..finally done..,” murmured Ara in heart.
Ara's eyes were still not closed at that time. Ara still remembered a few more stories about the past. About him and that person. Someone he always takes care of in do’a. Sometimes people ask why? Because the heart cannot take care of it. Therefore he kept it through do’a-do’a which he chanted in every prostration of his night. And finally do’a was turned into a miracle.
Message From: Ugly Guys
“I passed....” he said when someone sent a message to Ara three years ago.
Message To : Ugly Guys
“Barakkah....,” Ara was surprised to hear the good news he told via sms.
Message From: Ugly Guys
“Yeah, I passed. I really graduated. And this is all thanks to your help.
That was the last word that the man had sent. Never once did anyone write a thank you note to Ara for all her success. For Ara it was fine that seeing that person happy was enough for her. But, it's a lie that Ara didn't expect that from her. Ara hoped that the person would not only talk through the short message, but instead come to see her and tell her the good news directly. Hope is but a vain hope. Because in addition to the two sms messages, there are no more subsequent messages that follow. That person had already achieved everything, and Ara was not the most important person in her life that the message of joy would share.
Recalling all that, Ara's tears trickled down again. Can no longer be held back the tightness that torments it and finally the stuffing turned into a rain of tears. Immediately fetch the water of ablution so that his mind becomes calm and no longer remember the man in his past.
“God, tell me at the limit of my miss. So that I can't remember it anymore. So that the feeling of tightness is no longer felt. Because longing is so torturous. Lord, deliver me at the limit of my miss. To roll up all the cries and wounds. And then hide it. So that I can keep stepping. Without remembering the painful memories with him. Lord, deliver me at the limit of my miss. Allow me to cut. Lay down my chest to let go. She, who is not yet kosher to me,” Inner Ara.
After that, Ara immediately changed her clothes with her sleeping pajamas and immediately turned off her bedroom lights and turned on the nightstand. Do’a was cleared up before he finally closed his eyes and walked in his subconscious.
*****
