The Secret Love Story (End)

Heart Dilemma

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched

But felt with the heart

Therefore, when you use only your eyes and not your heart

Then you'll never know

Even if the whole world knows about it

You'll still be the only one who doesn't know

He was close, yet invisible

I don't know how many days, weeks or months I've been looking for him. I can't find him anywhere. And even in his house, I saw from a distance the house where he lived. A small house located in that narrow alley. Not much has changed, only the door has changed, maybe the old door is broken or worn out. Yes, I remember when the girl went up to the window to find the key to open the door. The house was deserted when we first came because his father went to his friend's house. I asked her when she began to climb up the window of the book-lined glass.

The Flasback

A Few Years Ago..

"Why are you....?" My first ask.

"Take the key..," he answered while grinning.

"Your father....?"

"No more going out to his friend's house" he replied. As if knowing with my eyes seeing the atmosphere so silent he finally spoke. "My house has always been like this. Sepi...," he explained by staying grim as before. There was no trace of disappointment on her face even though I knew that she was actually very disappointed. Because the reason for asking to take her home is so that she can say goodbye to her father if she will not go home for the next month because she has to undergo KKN. Then he opened his house, entered his house without letting me in. I know the reason is not because he does not want to take me masu, but rather because in his house there is no one so he only entered alone. However, when he was about to go in by opening the red-colored curtains he then turned around and told me to pray at the mosque in front of his house. After that, after a series of trips that day we finally returned to the place where we lived during college. It was in another city not so far from his home at the time.

Flashback Off

*****

I'm going to go to my friend's house, Vino's place, this time I don't want to be alone. I want to share my burden with my friends. Although I knew nothing would change even if I did that, but at least my burden could be slightly reduced if I split it so that there would be no more tightness that I felt. I parked my car when the housekeeper at Vino's house opened the gate. A few seconds later I got out of the car, found my three friends were looking at the street from the second floor porch, on the veranda of Vino's room. I patted them on the shoulder, until they were suddenly aghast at my arrival. I was curious about what object they were busy seeing until they did not realize that I had come and maybe even they did not hear the sound of my car.

"What the hell do you see, to the point of surprise that I see." asked Erlangga.

"Eh, loe Gha, you know I'm suddenly dumbstruck.", exclaimed Vino while scratching his nape that did not itch.

"****...don't lie deh threesome, obviously the sound of the car was buzzing up here, but you didn't even hear the sound of my car, so there must be something that caught the attention of the three of you. Don't tell me you guys are so excited to watch porn again..?" accuse Erlangga.

"I'm not alone Gha, I've been insyaf kali..," said Ferdhy.

"It's a sok-sok an insyaf, you're the supplier where maybe you can insyaf cepet it..," said Erlangga while grinning.

"Hehe..Knowledge deh..," said Ferdhy with his innocent attitude.

"Honestly, now tell me what you're so excited to see that I didn't come?" pinta Erlangga's.

"Hehe..we-we just look at the beautiful angel kok Gha..," said Andi.

"Beautiful angel? Wh who? It's gonna be the three of you again...?" chirps Erlangga.

"This time we-we are serious Gha, we will try to be as supportive as possible to dapetin tuh girl..," explained Ferdhy.

"Just you two, it's my girl, I love the girl first.", Vino explained.

"Is.loe are both cunning basics. Tau that I did not tell the girl the same loe both..," said Vino with a frown that was sahut with laughter by his three friends.

"What's the most beautiful girl you've taken three?" asked Erlangga.

"No I won't tell you loe Gha, ntar who there loe will follow in love at first sight or slang can love first sight like they both.", said Vino.

"Hahaha.dasar loe's. Tell me you are afraid to compete with me..," said Erlangga.

*****

"By the way..by the way, loe's face why Gha....?" andi asked full search on Erlangga.

However, Erlangga had guessed that his friends would ask about the reasons that made him become like a zombie today. His eyes looked very sunken like he had not slept for a few days, dark circles were also perched around his matan which would confirm that it was true that the man had not slept for several days.

"You still haven't found the girl?" vino asked immediately upon seeing the frustrated expression of his best friend.

"Why are you still looking for that girl Gha? You really love her?" ask Ferdhy then.

"Don't joke, I don't like the girl." Erlangga explained.

"If you don't like it, then why do you desperately want to dance against the girl Gha..," said Andi.

"Gue.gue just feels guilty about him. And I have to ask ma'af to him so that I can feel relieved..," said Erlangga.

"Tell Vino Gha, are you sure you don't love that girl? Loe desperately searches for him to help him recover his memories. Loe is convinced just because you feel guilty and instead want him to remember the reason you received a request from his friends tuh girl?" andi toilet.

Erlangga was unable to say anything more. He tried to digest every word of his friends. Yes, he himself did not know what his heart really felt. He was convinced that the guilt underlying the search for the girl was not a feeling of love or anything like that. But, he also could not lie that it ever crossed his mind to help the girl restore her memory so that the girl can remember who she is.

"Loe can't answer Gha? You better find out first what exactly is the feeling stored deep in your heart." said Vino.

"Gue.gue does not love him and I make sure of it..," said Erlangga while reassuring himself. "Gue loves Sabrina, only Sabrina and not the others" Erlangga explained.

"Loe's really convinced that your feelings aren't wrong?" ask Ferdhy.

"I mean Loe?" ask back Erlangga.

"Loe's sure you don't feel wrong?" ask Ferdhy again.

"What does Loe mean by wrong?" asked Erlangga again furious because he did not understand the purpose of the question asked by Ferdhy.

"This means I'm Gha. Loe didn't misinterpret your feelings for Sabrina as much as you eke the girl?" ask Ferdhy again.

Erlangga just looked at Ferdhy in disbelief and demanded further explanation from his friend. And Ferdhy also understood Erlangga's sharp gaze which demanded an explanation from him. Finally he explained the meaning of his words.

"I mean Gini Gha. Loe says you love Sabrina, are you sure it's love and not guilt? Whether you are sure that the reason you reciprocate with him is because you are still in love with him and not your guilt for having asked to break up with him and stay with him for several years then?" asked Ferdhy full of search on Erlangga and Erlangga again tried to digest the question and have not asked the answer to Ferdhy's question.

Ferdhy who knew that Erlangga still did not have an answer to his question again explained his own hypothesis. "Gini Gha, if I think you only feel guilty for Sabrina, Gha. Loe doesn't want him to feel hurt because of loe, so you want to come back with him and wait for the time for him who asked to break up from loe and not loe who sentin him so that the girl did not put hurt to loe," explained Ferdhy.

"On what basis can you have such thoughts...?" ask Erlangga back.

"It's easy, Gha, now that you really love him, why are you trying to avoid him since you came home from Singapore until now?" asked Vino then helped Ferdhy who turned out to have the same thoughts as himself. "If you're really in love with Sabrina, you can't spend all your time just looking for one girl you don't know where the girl is. Loe will finish your time with Sabrina considering that you have not met for a long time and rarely even get together" explained Vino again.

"Yes Gha, Vino's right. I also feel strange about your attitude. If you really love Sabrina, why not Sabrina who is the reason for your break from college who lives a little more in Singapore. Isn't the reason you want to look for the girl and help her to recall her memories with you" explained Andi.

Checkmate, explanation Andi and his friends make him unable to say anything more. All of his friends' narrations were true, but he never realized the extent of his feelings. Is it true that he doesn't really love Sabrina but loves the girl? The girl he always loved first, but always able to make his world cheerful. The girl who cried so much, asked for her help and always troubled her but also could never leave her if she herself was in trouble or sad. Do I really love him?" inner Erlangga.

"Loe can't answer Gha? Now you better find out first how loe Gha really feels, before you can find the girl and decide what you'll do when you meet the girl...," obviously Ferdhy. And Erlangga nodded in agreement with the words of his friends.

"We all know Gha, and the whole world knows, only you don't" Vino said. Who got a surprised and confused look from Erlangga. However, Vino did not explain his words further and only let his friend find out for himself what his last words meant.

*****

Ara felt something strange in her. His eyelashes fell down and from earlier his eyes were unceasingly twitching as if someone was talking about him at this moment. However, he did not care about his feelings and he only returned to focus on his computer that displays his company's financial balance sheet every month. He was again busy tinkering with his company's balance sheet so that he could find items that made why the balance sheet so unbalanced. However, a few seconds passed and he felt a very painful dizziness later. And he vaguely remembered some of his memories in the past even though he did not know for sure what the memory of what it was.

The Flashback

3 Years ago

"Hey boy, you know why the hell do you want to teach in this class?" ask the guy with glasses.

"Want to, why the hell, kepo.

"Well, Chloe don't lie to me. I know the reason you want to teach in my class is because you want to see gebetan loe right...?"

"I don't know..," Ara argued.

"Hahaha.loe can't lie to me anymore Ra, if you really like the same guys say. Or do you want me to help you to talk to each other guys...?

"Is.you're a know-how. Diem yes if you do not know anything," said Ara.

"Emmm..loe piker I don't know that loe kemaren woo si Tama make tuker loe schedule today with him so that loe can see the level of cem-ceman loe...," said the guy with glasses while pointing at the guy who was the topic of their conversation.

"Is.loh really knows..," said Ara while ignoring the glasses guy with his own hypothesis.

The man was also grinning to see the face of Ara who was busted because of his accusations. "You're a grin, right?" tease the guy again to Ara who is still talking about the same topic that is about their class adek named Ethan.

Ara who had started as sweet as the glasses guy finally answered the question of the glasses guy immediately. To keep the guy quiet and not bother him anymore.

"Hmmm.iya really can see him. But it's a pity that he doesn't wear his glasses." said Ara.

"Well, what if Ra doesn't wear glasses...?"

"Because if she wears her glasses, her face looks a lot like the people I've known in the past" explained Ara.

"Oh..," replied the glasses guy and immediately jincep without talking anything more.

I don't know what the glasses guy was thinking at that time, until he then fell silent and seemed to mute a thousand languages hearing Ara's explanation. But, Ara was grateful that the guy no longer teased her by asking her a lot about her words a few minutes ago.

Flashback Off

*****