THE NO-MAN'S LOVE
8. TWO-WAY AIM
I don't know, until when I can survive this loveless marriage. More precisely, a one-sided love because only I felt it for him. I also don't know how long I can hide this beautiful feeling from her. To be honest, I'm afraid if he knows my true feelings. I was afraid that he would act even colder and ignore me more than right now.
***
After her first encounter with Monita, Egidia and Genio's household felt increasingly cold and bland. Not because there is no communication between them, but because the husband always fortifies their relationship by building a wall of affirmation, which is difficult to penetrate by himself.
They live their married life accordingly, but without including any sense in every intertwined interaction. Even if there are, only limited formality and complement each other. Again, without love.
Repeatedly Genio asserted that whatever he did was based on his affection and necessity as a priest in the household. If Egidia feels an exaggerated attitude from him, the man again makes sure that all of that is done because of the unavoidable elements of humanity and social interaction, because they live together under one roof, he said, even one room.
For the last thing, Egidia felt grateful that her husband no longer asked them to separate the beds as he did when he was still living in his hometown after the wedding. At the very least, he could still feel a physical closeness to the man, despite being limited by the bolster as a separator and deterrent to unexpected things.
“I sleep first, Egi. I have to go to the office early tomorrow morning. I have a lot of work to do before I start.”
Egidia nodded and invited her husband who was already walking towards the bed. He himself was still sitting on the sofa and holding up the working device.
“Do not sleep late at night. Remember your health!”
“Oya, tomorrow I will buy another set of workbench. Your back will be easily tired and have a bad effect on the whole body, if your position writes like that constantly.”
The woman smiled happily at Genio's message and concern. He nodded again, then noticed the husband who was lying down and spread the blanket over his body.
“Thank you, Mas. Good night!”
“Goodnight!”
Genio immediately closed his eyes and tried to melt himself as soon as possible. She still felt guilty for the lies created while answering Egidia's question about her expectations towards Monita.
I'm sorry, Egi! I still need time to determine the best attitude in our relationship. Not that I don't appreciate this sacred bond, but my heart doesn't want to play around even with my own wife.
While the husband had closed his eyes and appeared to be falling asleep, Egidia ventured to look at him fixedly from where he was sitting. The second night they live together and start an independent household life, still making his heart beat fast.
After looking at the calm face that made her heart tremble every time their gaze collided, the woman tried to concentrate on her writing. It had been two days that he had not touched his favorite work device, due to their move.
However, instead of continuing the delayed writing of the story, the woman who had been wearing home clothes with long hair that was partially bound actually opened her diary. There, he again poured out the contents of the heart immortalized in a series of words that mean sadness.
Your beauty ... will it be mine?
The first sentence written, represents his current feelings. A hope that feels will not come true forever, because there is no mutual love between them, let alone the desire to have each other.
Only I want to strive to realize our happiness, while you still want to fight for your happiness along with others. One ship with these two directions, will one day be able to reach the same point, as I hoped?
***
“Today maybe I'll be home late. I've brought a spare key, so just make sure you've removed the key from the hole, so I can get in by myself without bothering you.”
“You also don't need to prepare dinner for me, unless I ask for it first. If it's overtime, usually I'll order food from the office.”
Life in housing that is not densely populated and their respective activities, make them seem to live without neighbors. Even if you meet, just greet each other as necessary.
Ten minutes passed, Genio was already standing up and glancing at the watch on his left wrist. Egidia immediately stood up and followed her husband's footsteps towards the front door. Arriving at the porch, the man said goodbye.
“I go first. If anything, contact me!”
“Be careful, Mas! May your work always be smooth, produce the best and full of blessing.”
“Don't forget to rest and don't eat late!”
Regardless of being thought to be chatty and considerate, Egidia told him calmly and then kissed the back of her husband's hand. Genio who still feels rowdy just assies and reciprocates the warm treatment of his wife with a lightning kiss on his forehead.
“Let me close the fence, Mas.”
After nodding, the man hurriedly turned around and walked quickly towards the car. The well-dressed, formal man entered without looking back at the woman who was beginning to make him nervous. Not because he felt something in his heart, but because he felt guilty because his own attitude was still stiff and could not be more familiar with the wife.
As the car drove slowly, the tail of her eyes caught the wave of Egidia's hand still standing at the end of the terrace with a sweet smile that was always shown in any situation and condition.
As per his wife's request, he immediately increased the speed of the vehicle after exiting the courtyard. Meanwhile, Egidia walked down to avoid the glare of the sunlight and closed the fence also locking it.
Before returning, he noticed the morning situation around the house with his right hand placed in front of his forehead to protect the view. His smile again expanded when he saw the front neighbor was watching him.
Unexpectedly, the occupant of the opposite house came out of the fence and approached himself who had twisted his body.
“Wait, Mbak!” The cry undid his intention, though his body began to feel sultry by the healthy sweat in the morning.
“Yes? What's up, Ma?” Confused, Egidia called out to her.
The woman who was actually still her age chuckled faintly at the call for her.
“Call my name only, Ma'am. Looks like we're the same age.”
Egidia nodded in shame and welcomed the neighbor's hand from the top of the chest-high fence. He was about to open it in honor of a visiting guest, but it was forbidden to just want to talk for a while.
“Include, I'm Tiara. Just call Tia.”
“Oh, yes. Hello, Tia. I am Egidia, commonly called Egi. My wife Mas Genio.”
The neighbor's face looked shocked and dumbfounded. It seemed like he was completely shocked and disbelieved by Egidia's confession. However, a moment later he set his attitude and explained around his shock.
Instead, Egidia's heart was racing and felt tight in the chest. Tia's next statement, making her feel increasingly far from the hope to be able to captivate the husband.
“Sorry, Egi. I was surprised because I think the future wife of Mas Gen is a woman who often comes to his house during this.”
