The Journey of Love Habibah..

The regret is endless

Arriving home, Lina threw everything in front of her. He was really angry when he remembered what Habibah had said. He had thought, if Habibah would not dare to say such a sharp sentence to him. Because what he remembers first, Habibah is a woman who never wants to make a fuss. Just accept whatever was done to him. But it turns out that now Habibah has dared to reply to his words and can even say a sentence that is very piercing his heart. He really did not expect even though Habibah could still be calm, but his words could be that sharp to him.

He's really changed a lot now.he's not as naive as he used to be. He's really a bitch now.

The grunt in the heart.

Qodir was surprised to find his house so messy as it had just been hit by a storm. Starting the living room until it was so messy.

" Lina..! Lina..!" Qodir called his wife who was sitting next to a bed that almost covered her whereabouts. Qodir who saw a bit of Lina's hair poking beside the bed immediately approached him.

" What's going on? How can a house be so bad? What have you done?" qodir asked in a slightly higher tone than usual.

" What have I done? I didn't do anything. It's all because of you and your pompous ex-wife. How dare he talk to me like that. Who does he think he is? " answered Lina with a cynical smile engraved on her face. Qodir was surprised when Lina mentioned the word ex-wife.

" What else did you do to him? Never bother him again. He's calm now, we don't have to get into trouble with him anymore. I feel guilty enough for him, don't make me feel guilty anymore" said Qodir with a slight push of his voice that was almost out of control. He was sure that Lina had done something behind him to Habibah.

" Oh yeah. You feel guilty to her now? Then what about me? Don't you feel guilty?"lina's voice rose again when she heard Qodir's confession just now.

" Yes, of course, I feel guilty for her. Because as long as I'm married to him I don't pay much attention to him. Even as she gave birth to our child, she struggled alone. I spent time with you at that time. I haven't even touched my son since he was born until now. I have ignored him to this day. How can I not feel guilty? " Qodir sat on the bed and squeezed his hair with both hands. He seemed frustrated by his guilt.

" So because of that, you don't want to officially marry me until now? Is it for this reason that you've changed for me? You have the heart of me, I love you so much that I am willing to do anything for you. But I'm just you marry under your hands. While her? You used to marry quite happily with him who was only betrothed and you guys didn't love each other. Is it possible that you are already in love with her?" Lina was really a strong protest against Qodir for the injustice he received. He was really angry if he remembered his marital status with Qodir who only married under his hands. He was really jealous of Habibah. Who had obtained the rights as wives of Qodir even though they did not love each other. But Habibah is recognized by everyone, she is officially married, loved by both her parents-in-law and treated like a princess. While he was only recognized by Qodir alone, even then only the beginning of marriage was Qodir sweet to him. Over time Qodirpun changed, he began to compare himself with Habibah in many ways. And it hurt his heart so much it also added his jealousy to Habibah.

Day after day Lina and Qodir passed with many debates and quarrels triggered by Lina's jealousy towards Habibah. Trivial things can already be a trigger for their quarrel. Their home life is really very difficult to find the word peace. There are always things that make them fight. Moreover, until this moment Lina still shows no signs of pregnancy. That added to Lina's concern for her household. He was really afraid that one day Qodir would leave him because he could not afford to give him a child. He really hoped to have a child with Qodir, because if he had a child there was hope that Qodir would love him again like before and want to marry him officially.

While Qodir himself increasingly feel saturated with Lina. He never thought if the woman he loved before could not be comparable to Habibah whom he never loved. Lina really couldn't treat herself as well as Habibah treated her. Lina was too rude in her service. Unlike Habibah who served him well even though there was no love between them. Qodir really felt a sense of loss after he felt life together with Lina. The Lina he loved was not as good as he had imagined. Love does not guarantee to be able to feel happiness in the household. Unfortunately his regrets are now meaningless, all can not be returned as before. He had no chance to return to Habibah and it was difficult to leave Lina. His life is now like eating the fruit of simalakama. How not, his family who had not agreed to his relationship with Lina increasingly hated Lina when they knew Qodir preferred Lina and left Habibah his wife at that time. Since Qodir chose to live with Lina, Qodir has been an orphan with no one in the world. All her family rejected her, especially her parents. But now, his sacrifice of that magnitude was not comparable to the one he had obtained. The shadow of living happily with Lina never happened at all. Lina never faced it gently, Lina was too domineering in the relationship. All the control of the household was taken over by Lina, it completely lowered her pride as a man and a husband.

Habibahs..

I used to waste you and our son. And now I live without self-respect and without children.

Habibahs...

Do you hate me?

Have you ever prayed anything bad for me until my life was like this or is this my only reward from God for what I have done to you?

Habibahs...

I'm really sorry for everything I've done to you. Too deep the wounds I put in your heart. And I've realized it now. Unfortunately, none of this means anything to me. Maybe my regret and my guilt will carry me until I die. I can only give up all the destiny I have to live now. I can do nothing now but renounce all this humiliation and suffering as punishment for all my wrongs to you and our son. Maybe I don't deserve to say sorry to you, but I really want to say those words to you.

I hope that whoever will be with you will give you the happiness I could never give you.

***

sorry the new author can update again, because of the busyness..🙏🙏🙏

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