The Journey of Love Habibah..

The Purnomo

 

After Purnomo's return, Habibah contemplated all that Purnomo had said to him earlier. The more thought he felt guilty about Purnomo. He never expected that Ririn would do such a thing to Purnomo. She thought Ririn's love could make Purnomo happy, but it turned out to be the exact opposite. Forgive me, Pur, for I you experienced all that. Because of me you are experiencing suffering that I never imagined at all. I'd be willing if God punished me with the same marriage you had. I will not regret it, I will consider it a reply to what I have done to you. I wish I could have a happy home, but it doesn't seem fair to you if it happens. Maybe I don't deserve to be forgiven.

 

The next day the wedding ceremony was held with full hidmat, but there was something strange felt by Habibah. He felt nothing during the marriage process. She felt ordinary, no nervousness or what her name was as if it wasn't her wedding. His heart was getting cold, there was no feeling of haru or anything in his heart. It was as if nothing had ever happened to him. It was like someone else's wedding.

On their first night, Habibah seemed ordinary, somehow feeling the real Habibah. Naturally, if a girl is in the same room with a new person in her life will feel nervous or even afraid. But Habibah did not feel it, who felt it was her husband Qodir. Although Qodir was astonished by Habibah's completely flat facial expression, he did not dare to speculate.

" Are you scared?" tanya Qodir tried to melt the stiff atmosphere..

" I'm not afraid, I'm just sleepy and tired I want to rest" replied Habibah coldly. Habibah rushed to clean up and got on top of the bed and pulled out her blanket. He was not bothered at all with Qodir in his room. Or even she thinks her husband doesn't exist. Qodir could only pay attention to Habibah, he tried to understand the attitude of the girl to him. He realized that the girl might not like him. But Qodir liked Habibah from the moment they first met. After cleansing himself, Qodir laid his body beside Habibah. He was very nervous to be next to Habibah even though the girl was in a position to back him. He tried to close his eyes, but he did not succeed. Qodir hesitantly brought his body closer to Habibah, and hugged her from behind. Though his heart refused Habibah to let Qodir embrace her, as he was well aware the man was now officially her husband. There was no reason for him to refuse. Although his heart was completely rejected, but he could do nothing.

That night there was nothing but a hug from Qodir, although Qodir could not bear to do what the newlyweds were supposed to do. But he was still afraid, if Habibah refused to do it to see the look of his face that was still flat and cold. Although all obligations are carried out by Habibah, but the flat face does not change at all. A week later, Qodir could not bear to have a husband and wife relationship. Habibah did not reject him, only did not respond to anything done by Qodir. To make Qodir feel really uncomfortable doing it. All Qodir could see was Habibah's tears when the girl's chastity had been obtained by Qodir. There was a sense of annoyance, disappointment and sadness to see his wife like that. Even Habibah never wanted to see Qodir, even though he had become husband and wife, but Habibah never wanted to look at the face of her husband.

" Do you regret it because I took your chastity? " ask Qodir again. But Habibah is still silent. Qodir was really upset with Habibah's attitude that was always silent, he was like he was dealing with a heartless robot.

Meanwhile, since Habibah's marriage took place, Purnomo increasingly occupied himself with his work as well as his only daughter. Until the arrival of a letter from the office where he works, that he will be promoted to the position of an Askep but on condition that he must be willing to change his work to another area. For some reason all he remembered was about Habibah, he desperately wanted the girl to be happy. But he couldn't bear to see firsthand how the girl's life was going. With the existence of a promotional letter from the company, he finally agreed to be transferred to another area. Although his heart refused to leave, he was completely unable to face his own feelings. He hopes that staying away will reduce his feelings and start a new life with a new heart. Nur, what should I do now...? You already have your own life, I can't possibly disturb your new life with this feeling. Although I am tormented by this feeling, I always pray that you can live happily. I have never regretted all these feelings, nor have I ever regretted all that I have been through because of you. I will try to stay away from you again, hopefully this time we can both let each other go. But the thing that really made me feel lucky in my life was that I had this feeling and you had that feeling for me. I have never regretted that my heart has been given up only for you and I will never regret it if forever this heart only chooses you.

While opening the pages of Habibah's diary that he still kept well, his mind was only on the girl who had now become someone else's wife. But he always felt that the diary was enough to treat all the wounds and sorrows in his heart. All the words written there could really comfort his broken heart. Somehow he never wanted to get rid of the diary book, he even took good care of it from the time he got the diary book until now he never got tired of reading it. All that was written in it were words that Habibah had never spoken to him. The words he had always wanted to hear from Habibah's little mouth. But until now, when the girl had belonged to someone else she had never said it. He has kept everything to himself.

The day that was set for his departure came. He was forced to leave Nur Laily his only daughter because she was too small. He also has not prepared anything for his daughter if she takes it directly. Later she will hire the services of a baby sitter or household assistant to take care of her little daughter if she goes to work. Purnomo's heart was very heavy leaving his hometown, but he still had to leave. There was no choice but to leave the village.

***

the cold snow is nothing compared to the coldness of the human heart😪😪