The Chosen Heart

Episode 21

Good thing I came back home, because there were some files that were missing. Otherwise, I wouldn't have heard the humiliation earlier" Hanan said

Zahwa was silent and felt guilty. But he also could not argue because he knew what he said was not wrong.

"Whatis that? What an ugly painting!" Hanan comments by looking at the painting Zahwa that he just sunbaked.

Like lightning in broad daylight, the word was so loud that it pierced Zahwa's heart. Even the person in front didn't care at all how hard he slapped her with those words. He left, revealing a back that was getting farther away.

Those words were still ringing in Zahwa's mind. Wh why? Why should she hear it through her husband's mouth. Is it true that after marriage, the husband takes over the duties of parents. He replaced their positions, including insulting his work.

If it's wrong? Why not speak well. He will apologize and will not repeat it.

Zahwa's body was instantly hollowed out, with Hanan's back no longer visible. Her tears fell.

Wh why? Why is she crying? It was not that many people had treated him and his paintings like that. If there is one more person why it should be as weak as it feels. As if the joints no longer function, only the breath is there and why it should also exist. So that he was more sure he no longer felt the pain.

Her tears came out, soaking her cheeks so profusely, that the hands she had repeatedly assigned to wipe them felt tired as well. The tears did not stop either.

Hanan, he's already downstairs holding the file in his hand. He wants to get in the car. But his hand came to a halt, looking at the water droplets on his wrist. He looked around, it was not raining maybe he thought and immediately looked for the source of the water droplets.

Hanan looked up and saw Zahwa with his tears. She's surprised. Zahwa held the painting with a firm grip.

Hanan felt guilty. His gaze was instantaneous. He wants to go back to Zahwa, but he also has to go back to the office.

"Non Zahwa is okay?" Tanya bikih

Stupid question. It was obvious she was crying. But maybe it's a question of affection, which also means that it's okay everything will be fine.

"Patiently yes, Non," was probably the phrase that only he could utter back then.

Zahwa has always looked strong. He no longer complained to anyone. There is much he should complain about and regret.

Today he saw Zahwa's face with a bright and vibrant smile that he always showed the moment he finished his painting. Only he and his paintings know the taste of his heart. Even pasih , can only be happy without understanding anything. Maybe as long as he's happy.

But today he also saw tears that seemed to last a long time. Even he wasn't like this when his parents died.

Bik pasih leads Zahwa to go to the room. Lay her down and give her the drinking water that is already on the drawer table next to her bed.

He drank it with as much as he pleased. He again drowned his face on the pillow beside him, clutching his own body.

"I want to be alone" said Zahwa .

Without adding a word, make love immediately out of Zahwa's room. Wish it was like that he'd be okay.

Maybe that's all he can do. She let out as many tears as she could. Hope all the tiredness and pain also come out, disappear along with the tears.

****

Hanan came home early that afternoon. I want to see Zahwa soon. He was not focused on work all day. It made Zahwa cry for the first time, because he didn't mean to say it either.

"Where is Zahwa, bik?'' hanan asked, as he met the compassionate monk who was sweeping the courtyard.

"There's in the mas room," answered the pikasih rather ketus. He might be disappointed with Hanan's attitude earlier.

"I'm right not to mean it that way. I guess he'll take that as a joke as always" Hanan explained. Although the pakasih did not ask about the incident but the pikasih has shown an attitude that he knows everything. Bik Asih was angry with her.

"I don't know mas" said the pity and immediately left Hanan.

"Oh, Bik, don't get angry. I told you I wasn't on purpose" Hanan explained

One woman alone has made it this difficult in addition to another.

"Not everything can be made into a joke. Non Zahwa likes to paint. He loves his hobby. But parents and other families do not like non Zahwa doing his hobby. All this time he was distressed by the ban and always kept silent - quietly denying it. Not to mention feelings of guilt to his parents," obviously pasih made Hanan even more guilty. He doesn't know it all.

"I really didn't know bik and just now I just wanted to reply to her words saying I don't care about her" Hanan said regretfully. He's beaten.

"Isn't that right, Mom?" Saying bik asih. He wanted to leave Hanan immediately. But prevented by him.

"I'm not like that. It's just, "Hanan can't go on with his words.

"Mas knows. Although non Zahwa can not be perfect to be a wife but she tried to prioritize Hanan. She cried and worried as Hanan came out without saying goodbye to anyone. He had to fight with Surya mas, because it considers Surya mas participate in the affairs of Hanan and non Zahwa. Though Surya mas already good to non Zahwa he even cook kale stir fry non Zahwa favorite. But because of waiting and worrying about Hanan, he didn't eat dinner." Bik pasih's story. He seemed to be carried away with emotions as well.

This time Hanan did not prevent the pity from leaving before him. He was still glued to walk straight into the living room . He had his body torn down even though what was more tired was his heart.

Actually he knew, Surya also said the same thing that night. He also heard a prank in his room but when he saw it. Zahwa was staring at the laptop in front of him. He also knew that he was only pretending that he would be ashamed if he seemed to cry for himself. But what power he is is also not power. Even though she was her husband, she was already a husband in the sense in her heart.

No one knew if she also felt pain, when she saw Zahwa crying. But is he given the right to wipe his tears now?

Hanan Frustrated. He rubbed his face . He immediately headed upstairs. His steps came to a halt, as he saw that Zahwa's painting was still on the terrace. He took it and put it in a bag. He also saw some worn brushes and watercolors. It's still good, but probably because it's been in storage too long.

"Just told you, but it's been repeated again," upset pity. Either because of annoyance or what. At that time I did not like Hanan. Even though he is his master.

A few moments after Hanan left. Surya is coming . He was also confused by Hanan's departure.

"Where are you going, bik? How do you look rushed?" ask Surya

"Don't say anything to me, Mom" replied the pity.

Surya catches a change in compassionate attitude towards Hanan.

"What's up, Bik?'' ask Surya

"Non Zahwa mas," answered the doubting proverb

He still doubts. Will tell the incident or not to Surya. But, seeing Hanan now not at home and instead left after hearing the situation of Zahwa he increasingly wanted to tell the incident to Surya.

"Why Zahwa?" ask Surya. She's worried too

"Non Zahwa cried, Mas. Until now he did not leave the room," answered his pity at last

Surya looks confused. Crying, what's wrong?

Bik Asih told all the chronology of the incident to Surya. He also looks seriously listening, compassionate also seen restraining haru.

"I'll try to talk to him" Surya said after he heard the pitying story.

Paints. He knows that Zahwa likes to paint . He had also seen him do that in his time at college. But Zahwa, never told if his hobby was about many people. What he didn't realize when he found out Zahwa painted first. He always wrapped the painting and even when someone wanted it he would easily give it to him. He thought maybe it was just a painting. But it turned out to mean a lot to him.

"Zahwa, are you okay?" Surya, he's at his doorstep. He was also guilty at that time, because until now he did not understand that Zahwa likes to paint.

A few moments later Zahwa opened the door. He looks messy. Even his eyes because, swollen due to too many tears that he let out.

" Sorry...Ii'm sorry. Again I hope that there will be no more people to insult me" he said again . He looks bad .

Surya led him back into the room to sit on the bed.

"Why does everyone hate what I do. Am I wrong? Did I ever say bad to them so they didn't like it, "

"Why is there always someone who wants to rule my life. What I said was a good thing I had to obey. What I did meant nothing. What's my fault? I never bothered them, nor did I comment on their lives. But why do so many people want to rule my life. What I like and dislike. Everything has to match their character?!"

"I like you. But someone else told me to marry someone else. In fact, he didn't even know me before,"

Those words seemed to pierce Surya's heart. Maybe what he meant was his parents. But, there was happiness too, when she said she still liked herself.

"I hate! When people use my name for their own sake. As if to say, this is for you. But it's all for themselves" Zahwa continued. Like her she was evaporating her emotions after a long time she was quiet.

Surya wanted to hug her. But, what power, he could only look at and give a handkerchief for him to remove with his own hands.

For the first time he saw Zahwa so devastated like this. Even when she found out that Surya was the husband's older brother she wasn't this broken.

This has had an effect on the word Hanan. Until the actual words are simple, can make it destroyed like that. Even Hanan admitted that he was just teasing her. Or maybe, because of a very valuable painting in his opinion. He could not hear anyone insulting him.

"I I will tell Hanan to apologize" Surya said calmly.

"For what? It won't mean anything anymore. Maybe with an apology you can erase the mistake. But what about the wound that's been scratched to me,"

Zahwa is completely destroyed. Somehow it makes Surya feel sick, in addition that Zahwa correctly assume the existence of Hanan. To the slightest extent about him Zahwa took him seriously.

"Why don't you be my husband, why are you in Cairo for so long. If it's a little faster, maybe now you're the one I choose. And again, why is Hanan your sister? Why didn't I know about it before?!" Added Zahwa. She's upset. Real angry. He's venting all his emotions.

"I'm tired. I have to keep playing that I'm okay. Aren't you like me. Even you looked fine when you found out that I was already your sister-in-law. And so it's easy to say that we're sisters now,"

As soon as Surya's heart breaks, he hears Zahwa's prejudice against. Maybe this is what he felt as well, when he said that they were just brother and sister. But what Zahwa doesn't know, is that he's the most devastated of the two.

"Bring me away, tell all of it to Hanan. If we love each other and I'm ready to end it all." Zahwa said whining. It was like the last decision for him. But he was currently in a state of unconsciousness, let alone with anger.

Surya remembers his meeting with Mr. Rosyid. In reality, the one who should have married Zahwa was her. Maybe this is a good time to tell it all.

But if right now what Zahwa is going to accept or his worst circumstances he assumes that the family is playing tricks on him. Like what he said, "The stranger he had just met just so took care of his life. And simply saying that it was just a mistake and wanting to return the situation as it was,".

"Zahwa you're gonna be fine, no one's gonna stop you from painting. Believe it!" Surya. He did not want to add to the current state of affairs.

Their eyes stared at each other. Deep enough. It was as if in their gazes were pouring out deep affection and longing. How not, they should be happy at this time. Enjoy time together. But apparently, fate wrote another story.

Yes they are together, but open as they dream.