Sir, Don't You Sick Me!
The Desired Life
"Sorry, Sir." I lowered my head to avoid Master Mahawira's sharp gaze. "A servant does not deserve to do that with his own master. I'm .. self-conscious, sir."
"Why are you talking like that, Cornelia?" The pointy-nosed man grabbed both of my cheeks, forcing the eyes to look back at him.
"Because that's the reality, sir. M-sorry." I had to lower Mr. Mahawira's hand from both of my cheeks. "Master is a prince who will be the successor of the King later. As for me. .. just an ordinary servant who has no advantages whatsoever."
"I hate what you're saying, Cornelia! I really don't like hearing it, you know? We are not in the palace. We are in a country of people, and this is my wish. You should know that!" he said with a slightly pressed tone, then turned his face away.
"Wherever we are, we cannot escape reality, sir. The fact that I'm just a—"
"Shut up, Cornelia!" At once the tone of Mr. Mahawira increased. I think I made that guy even more angry. "I don't like what you say! It's the same as you telling me to accept a marriage I never wanted!"
Silence covered the entire room. I know I shouldn't say things that hurt my own master. However, still what my master wants cannot be justified. A servant in a lover's relationship with his master is taboo. I can be put to death if my Majesty finds out.
"Sleep. Forget what I'm talking to you."
Mr. Mahawira stood up, then returned to his room.
Yeah, God. Why is my heart this sad for disappointing my own master? But, what am I supposed to do?
Slowly, tears fell down the blanket that wrapped my body. The clear liquid that flows from this eye patch is very impervious to me. Finally, I tried to hold back the sound of crying so as not to be heard by Mr. Mahawira.
If only I had been born from the blood of a noble, of course I would never have rejected Master Mahawira's wishes. However, if that were to happen, I would definitely never know that man.
I embrace myself, repeatedly wipe away the tears, still making the river. The only thing my master's face imagined, was also the fear that he would hate me.
Having a relationship with Mr. Mahawira is just a dream. I had to wake up from that dream and always see the reality.
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In order to meet the needs of eating and drinking, I sell vegetables and fruits in the market. A merchant accepted me to work and gave me the confidence to bring all kinds of vegetables and fruits picked directly from his garden. Fortunately, someone was kind enough to accept me. Otherwise, I can only trouble Mr. Mahawira.
I have not seen Prince Kalandra and Birendra for three days. They seem to have their own busy lives. Anyway, I don't need them. Just blocking myself with Mr. Mahawira.
However, on second thought, my relationship lately has been a bit tenuous and awkward with my master. After that night, we talked a little. Moreover, he always dodged when I asked him to talk about something.
Hey, Mahawira! Why did he become such a child?! I'm pissed at him! It sucks!
"You why?"
My delusion was scattering as the sound reached the ears. I saw Mr. Mahawira standing beside me while looking at myself squeezing some vegetables.
I'll put the vegetables back on the table. "That's okay, sir."
"Lately you've been acting weird. What the hell is going on with you?" tanyanya.
Oh, geez. Hasn't he been acting strange lately? Mahavira, Mahavira. Why are you so annoying?!
"Who is weird? No. gabe. On the contrary, it is you who has been acting strangely lately."
"Huh?! Me? Not likely. You're acting weird."
A chat of some traders who were next door stopped our conversation. Me and Mr. Mahawira instead focused on listening to the traders gossip.
"You know? In Tulip Country, Kingdom of Rosalia, a prince flees for refusing marriage to one of the royal princesses. This news has spread everywhere, you know. Not only that. His king is said to have suffered severe pain from shock at his son's actions. My associates in the kingdom said the state of their king was getting worse."
"really? I don't know what the prince's face is in the Kingdom of Rosalia. Durhaka once was that one prince."
Hearing the gossip of the traders who were getting hotter, Mr. Mahawira bowed. There was sadness emanating from his eyeballs. Honey, I can't do anything for my master. Mr. Mahawira should know the risk that the act of escape that he did actually have a bad impact on the health of His Majesty.
Indeed, His Majesty had been ill for a long time, but when the prince remained by his side, the king could always smile and forget his sick state. Prince Mahawira is the only son of the King who will continue the struggle of the Kingdom of Rosalia later. However, it was unexpected that he took decisions and actions that made the name of the kingdom so bad.
"T-Tuan—"
"Sorry, Cornelia. I'll go back to the inn. Hope your sales are selling well."
I let the man go without the slightest obstruction. What my master is feeling right now is enough for me to feel. It must be very painful to hear bad news like the gossip of those merchants.
My master's sorrow is my sorrow as well.
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For days living in the Land of the Wind, the news of the escape of Prince Mahawira from the Kingdom of Rosalia is increasingly spread. In fact, I heard the news that the kingdom has deployed hundreds of troops to search for Mr. Mahawira and spread information to the people of—anyone who finds the whereabouts of Mr. Mahawira, they will be given a great reward.
I was more worried and more saddened to hear the news, because the days I spent with Mr. Mahawira never felt calm. Something is worrying us. I'm also sure, Mr. Mahawira cares deeply about His Majesty. However, there was nothing he could do.
The man looked over for a moment, then looked back down.
"Master is thinking about the Father?" ask me to vent.
"No" he said briefly.
"Then? Why has he been quiet lately? You once said you don't like to be quiet. That means, you want to keep talking, right?"
"You just shut up. Let me shut up like this. After all, there's nothing we can talk about anymore, right? You always say I'm your master, then you're my servant. Then we can't be together. The conversation's over when you say that."
I bowed then. That's right what the guy said. After saying something that made her sad, it was as if there was nothing more we could talk about. After all, I am my master's servant, asking would also seem very presumptuous.
"really, right? Now shut up like this is better."
I'm not responding.
"You know? I intend to return to the palace. But, if I come back, it means I'll marry the daughter I don't love. Don't you feel anything strange in your heart at all?"
"Something weird? What do you mean by something strange?" I asked because I really could not catch the meaning of the words of Mr. Mahawira.
"Stupid. Never mind, forget it. Then I might just come back. After all, there was no longer any meaning to being in this country. It's boring."
After thinking for a while, I finally understood what Mr. Mahawira meant by feeling something strange.
Fuck up! I'm sure he deliberately complicated his words.
"I feel it, sir."
"What's? You don't even understand what I mean, do you?"
"I feel something strange even if I just imagine Master marrying that princess."
"What do you feel?"
"Related, hateful, sad, and other such things."
"Basic, Liar." Mr. Mahawira said it with a reluctant smile.
Not long after, the man's hand floated up, then landed on the top of my head. His face was attached to me.
"Our adventure is over, Cornelia. The life I wanted was not going to be able to reach and live with you. And all that happened when you rejected me."
The smile was flaring right in front of me. Really, I can't stand him. A resigned smile that contains a disappointment, pain, maybe even a feeling of anger.
Mr. Mahawira withdrew his hand, then stood up. "Then I have decided. I'm going to marry a daughter I don't love at all. Tomorrow we go to the palace."
The man looked back at me. "Thank you for accompanying me on my journey."
Mr. Mahawira stepped into his room without my mouth stopping. After that, I didn't realize tears had flowed to my lips, and I accidentally sipped them. Salty, like my master's overly forced smile.
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Since a while ago began to walk out of the Land of Wind, no conversation was created between me and Mr. Mahawira. In fact, I no longer walked by his side. It makes me so sad.
Am I no longer special to her side?
I saw my master's hand swinging in the rhythm of his steps. I want to grab it and hold it. However, impossible. I am the one who created the atmosphere that it is today. To be honest, I really hate things. Hates the silence of my master's mouth. I want him to talk again, again, and again.
As I walked down, I did not see anyone walking in front of me in the opposite direction. My shoulder hit someone. I'm straightforwardly apologizing.
"Ouch! Sorry, sorry. I don't see—"
I was mute when I saw the person who collided with me. A middle-aged woman who is so slum. No, that's not what surprised me, but his gaze. I looked at him as if I knew me.
"Cornelia, my son ...."
My eyes were perfectly rounded hearing the expression coming out from the mouth of the middle-aged woman before me. Heart beat seems to stop. The breath is restrained and the view becomes empty.
"My son ..," he said again as he grabbed my cheeks slowly.
Yeah, God. Who is this woman in front of me? Why does he think I'm his son?
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