Serra(Bloodless Wound)
SERRA
One wound you added for me
" Yank, can I be honest with you?" Rama called me tonight
" What about?"
" About emm."
Rama hesitated to answer me, but I could guess what he was going to say? of course, I know their intelligence during this time even Rama willing to leave the event that I lead just to be able to chat with the baby.
One report I received at that time, when he complained to the baby that he was losing speed until a few points were missed.
Sweet, right? how's my?.
" Yes, I'll finish your job first" . That's the only message I got.
I don't want to doubt this time, there's no way I'm losing to a aunt.
In the latest report, Selvia claimed to be still in school and was still in her teens.
My logic brings me back to the initial conversation. Rama was still speechless, inevitably I had to lure him
" What the hell is yank? talk if there is anything to talk about".
" I'm sorry yank, I .."
" You're tempted again, right? now the same girl named Selvia"
" You know yank?"
Rama answered in surprise. My huff breathed my coarse breath, even she forgot how I worked all this time. I'm silent not not not knowing, I'm silent not to let me be silent, not to let go. But I was silent just wanting you to be able to realize my existence and race for you all along.
" Just a little, now tell me"
" But isn't this gonna hurt you yank?"
" You know this is gonna hurt? then what do you think?"
" I just don't want to lie to you yank, it feels so unsettled not to tell you. I don't know why this is the case, I'm weak to deal with you."
" Tell me!! I'll listen to all of them."
" He was present when we had a little trouble yesterday, not that I was deliberately looking but when you were busy and I was upset yesterday that he came with me to chat."
Happy tones can I feel every word, you are really interested in him yank?
" You know, I feel appreciated by him. When he wants to go wherever he says goodbye to me like I'm the one who should know what he's doing."
It is my heart, with his youth Rama told me so. Then what about me? do I have less respect for him?
" I didn't mean to compare yanks, but he actually did. Look at this chat I sent ya so you know"
" Brother "
" Yes baby "
" Sorry brother, I'm going to go out first "
" Oh where is baby "
" Want to in**maret brother "
" Okay be careful baby "
" Yes my dear brother "
A piece of the message Rama sent me, about his baby. Sick? don't ask that again
" Look at yank, he's so considerate and respectful of me. It's nice to be treated like that."
" What do you want with me now?" Nanar I said that word
Nothing else I could think of, just to see her happy was enough for me. If it wasn't me who could bring happiness to her, what could I do?
" How about I take you off and choose it?"
My chest rumbled, but I could no longer cry.
" For example "Say again after realizing my inertia.
I smiled, with a smile I said,
" You like him? in love?" I asked while maintaining a smile that did not know how the smile formed.
" No, it's still comfortable at least until now."
" Where do you want me? let go of you and we're separated?"
" I don't know, I'm confused."
" Ok, then let me decide the answer is yes" I said
" Are you okay, yank?"
" I'll be fine, be happy. Remember these 1 week even though you were with her you were still mine before I gave you up for her."
" Yes, you are the best. Thanks for understanding."
******
People say that love is blind, can blind the eyes of the heart and mind. People also say that love is painful, full of pain and crying . But people also say that love is happy, hunger becomes full and crying becomes laughter.
But now I am in which part? happy, sad or blind?.
If I am in happiness of love why am I crying now?.
If I am in love, why do I sometimes smile because of his love?.
If I'm blinded by love why would I love him so much?.
Let him tie a rope of love with others even though the heart is called what is my love? the stupidity? or insanity?
Here I say sorry for all my mistakes in life, apologizing for my fragile heart. Apologizing for the weakness of my soul.
One week of the time I gave to Rama, in that one week I no longer asked for any reports from my people.
I really set him free. I just want to convince my heart that this is the best outcome I have to accept, all the risks I've thought through.
Even if I was ready to leave RK, I would disappear burying all my memories, all my wounds and my love for him.
****
It was hot this morning, I don't know if it's possible without him. First time feeling neglected and neglected, lonely or maybe because I was lonely?.
Nadya invited me to play in her room to visit her this afternoon, sing!!
Only once as I remember I spoke in the audition room because I was forced to haha, forced to be angry.
Dani and Nadya play a song I don't know I'm less focused on hearing it.
" Where's ser?"
" Spirit room, what's wrong? tumben you call me spirit?"
" There's no time? want to confide."
" Don't yell at me if you need a prayer yes, Spirit snatch"
" Cooking yes I have to say kangen you Ser, it's not possible too"
" No need, I'm out first"
Moga Iroh brings a good story that can make me laugh later.
****
" Mo, what's the Spirit?"
" Your habit Ser asked the news of the cake"
" Bosen ah, the answer must be good. Well you can chat like this means no longer sick, right?"
" Hadeh the enemy of people is too pinter yes bengini, lose mulu."
I smiled reading Iroh's reply, I don't know he was funny.
" I'm heartbroken Ser, yesterday I was left by my girl."
" Daunt, seriously?do you have a girl?"
" It's seriously me, yesterday he asked to break up"
" Eh there's a like you Spirit oups haha sorry"
" Dih ngetawain later have a crush on me you know the taste of yes."
" Eleh does not have the power, it's serious about what story you want"
" Haha"
" Recent, old."
" Casual why the hell, your habits Ser. Okay-okay story."
" Lately I feel constrained Ser I don't know, maybe the intention is good but I'm not comfortable."
My head throbbed trying to think which way Ron was talking, only one loomed over there Lala.
To Be Continue
