Senior Beautiful Incaranku

Loss (Hearted try)

Povs. Ayuna Maharani

I kept calling Mas Bagus' number over and over again, but never got connected because it was out of reach. I don't know what my husband was doing, until nightfall even his phone number still remains out of reach. I also chose to send Mas Bagus a short message and tell him if Dinda was sick.

[Dinda's sick, can you go home now, Mom?]

That's all I can tell her, I contacted her not because of my wishes, honestly I'm still angry with her. But since he was still the father of Dinda, and my husband, I had to throw away my ego. If I don't tell him, maybe one day he'll get mad. I tried to shake off a little bit of my heartache towards her, for Dinda's sake. But after this, I understand that Mas Bagus does not really care about his son and wife.

From day, until night now meet again morning, Mas Bagus still no news. While Dinda was getting worse, the heat was high and I had to take her to the hospital.

I sent a message to Satria, telling her that she couldn't get to work today because Dinda was sick. I also asked him to help with the job of the new employee transferred from the branch office yesterday. Because there's something I haven't been able to explain.

I accompanied Dinda alone, with Dinda unconscious, and the many hoses attached to my son's body made my heart feel sliced and broken.

As a mother, if it can be exchanged then I will be very willing to replace Dinda who is sick. I couldn't bear to see him lying weakly helplessly on top of the gurney, let alone the many hoses and needles that were pierced into his body.

That little boy had to suffer and feel pain, I couldn't really see it. My cry broke, when I saw Dinda was convulsing. Panicking, I screamed for the nurse.

"Suster!!!!!"

No one accompanied me, not even my own husband who said he would accompany me when difficult and happy, in fact until now has not appeared. Where's she? Don't ask me.

At night, Gita and Syifa visited me at the hospital. Maybe they got word from Satria because I only gave this information to my Boss' secretary. At once I applied for a few days off to accompany Dinda.

"Mba, Dinda why?" Syifa asked by rubbing my shoulder slowly.

Syifa's voice could also resuscitate me, if I currently have friends.

I just shook my head, no longer able to answer any questions. From there my cry broke, until Syifa and Gita hugged me tightly with our cries together.

When I saw the tension that was going on while the doctor and nurse were handling Dinda, I approached and approached the gurney.

"Dinda," call me.

I hold this hand to strengthen Dinda and strengthen myself.

"I'm sorry, Mom. We have tried our best but God willed otherwise" the Doctor said to me with a look of compassion.

"NO!!!!"

My screams may fill the hospital's ICU room. I screamed, I hugged my son's body that looked pale and cold.

"Be patient, ma'am," said a nurse to me as she removed several hoses from Dinda's body.

Maybe his intention was to give me some calm. But really I can't. I am broken, destroyed.

"Dinda ..." My tears just broke.

I feel like I failed to be a mother because I couldn't take good care of my son. It hurts when we have to lose someone we love. Especially our hearts.

"Ayuna, be patient,"

"God is more dear to Dinda, who is sincere, Mba,"

At least I'm lucky that there are still people with me at times like this. They are called friends when they are difficult and happy. Thank you, Gita, Syifa.

******

I contacted my family in my hometown, precisely in the city of Semarang. My intention was to take Dinda and bury her there.

I asked Ms. Siti's nanny Dinda to accompany me home, and luckily Bu Siti wanted to without further ado. She also lost Dinda. I was grateful, at least when I arrived at the village I was not alone.

I don't know how many hours it's been, none of that is felt. Because I kept crying while hugging my son's body. Ambulance with sirens also witnessed the sadness of all those who welcomed our arrival.

When I arrived home, I immediately scattered and hugged Mom's body tightly and poured my cries on her.

"Patience, Ndok," Mother was the same, crying and crying and her hands rubbing my shoulders.

"Well, where's your husband, Yuna?"

This is what I'm afraid of, this question is like a needle pricking my heart. When Bude Ratri asked where Mas Bagus was, it felt like I wanted to pull his hair. Couldn't he ask me how I am right now, who is clearly in front of him? Why should he look for a person who does not appear to be the trunk of his nose?

"Good to come later, Mba," replied Mother gagged Bude Ratri's mouth.

Grateful, because Mom was able to help me, so I don't need to turn around looking for other reasons. Mother always understands her child's situation. Once we become mothers, we will understand that.

"Definitely keep working! Yes so, his son until he died because of not being watched ..."

"Wes to, Mba!" cut off Mom for Bude Ratri's unfinished speech. I don't want to say much, because the more served, Bude Ratri is getting late.

I felt even more pierced when I heard Budeku's nagging dubbed 'lombok cage' by some members of our family.

As working parents, we also want the best for our children. If indeed Dinda died due to lack of attention from her parents, I admit wrong. But I also do not want to fight God's fate line, because the affairs of soul, sustenance and death are his will.

...****************...

Three days I was in the village, I decided to go back to Jakarta. I really don't want to go back to that town, but I still have a lot of work to do. Not to mention the situation at home makes me more uncomfortable. It was all because of the many people who asked about the existence of Mas Bagus that I myself did not know where he was.

Lucky I went with Ms. Siti, so I could make her an excuse to take her home first. I chose the air route, to shorten our travel time.

On the plane, I just kept sleeping. It seems like I can sleep better on the plane than I can at home. At home, I will keep thinking of Dinda. Not to mention my husband's extremely annoying behavior. Until now he has not given me any news, although in fact the Whatsapp message that the other day I sent him has been read. How is he, what exactly is he doing there?

"Mama Dinda, wake up,"

Bu Siti's voice roused me from the long sleep I went through. We arrived at Soekarno-Hatta Airport. We got off the plane and took a taxi home. After finishing setting up Ms. Siti, I headed to my rented house which was not far from her house.

But how surprised when I opened the door, there was already Mas Bagus who was sitting on the living room sofa.

"Yuna??"