Patience of My Husband

Gestation

POV author

A little story, but please don't be angry. I'm gonna tell you a little bit about my life between life and death.

Pregnancy is not a bad thing, especially if we really expect the presence of the baby. I beg you if any of you are pregnant but feel not ready, do not waste it. If (sorry yes) "Pregnant Outside of Marriage" (do not lose his life. If you do not want to raise her, give it to someone who really expects the presence of a child.

I have a child who is starting to grow up, she is 13 years old. I really like children, but to get pregnant again I always put it off. Use contraceptive implants, birth control pills, even injectable KB as well. Because I feel I have not been able to eliminate the trauma at the time of giving birth to the first child.

I actually wanted to, too, but the trauma re-emerged to dampen my intentions. This has been over for more than eight years.

Once upon a time, at night before bed, it was a good time to communicate. I tried to ask the axe.

"Well, can I ask you a question?"

"What?" She asked dong.

"You, don't you want to have another child?" I asked with great care, because for many years we have never discussed this. My husband knows that I still feel the trauma of giving birth again. That's why he never discussed this.

"Yes, pity iyos has no friends. He's alone" That's the answer.

"Yes already then, starting tomorrow I release KB huh?" My husband didn't answer anything but I knew he was very happy to hear it.

I was on the Pill. Already know the side effects of the Pill, he said that too late can be directly dung aka hamidun.

But that doesn't apply to me, the days change months, the months change years, I still haven't been around either.

Disappointed ? dong yes obviously ...

Stepping into the second year without my knowledge, I ventured to consult Dr. SpOG. And recommended to follow the promil. All that Dr. SpOG suggested I do is take vitamins, milk, fresh seafood, fruits, exercise, diet and also good hours to do the release.

But I feel like my efforts are in vain, I'm down, I'm stressed. Until I stopped writing, all the hobbies I left behind, and my escape was only to food. Every time I feel stressed, my appetite increases. And as a result my body swells, not because of pregnancy but because of the fat that accumulates.

Until I finally dropped, suddenly the body shivered. And after a few days, my left leg swelled up and blackened. Until I can't walk. Because just standing up I can't stand the pain.

Early examination doctors suspect that this is a kind of uric acid and cholesterol. But because he did not want to just guess, finally done a blood test. That's where I learned that I had a blood vessel infection.

What kind of disease is this?"

Three weeks lay weak, until the weight fell fifteen kilos. Fantastic no, no diet without exercise. Body direct slim. But it's really tormented. Even during the healing period my three toenails slipped off on their own, except for the thumb and pinky. Not only that, the skin also peels without feeling pain. If you want to know, just imagine removing the skin of the chicken claw, which still has the outer skin. That's how my leg skin looks when it's peeled.

After I was healed I decided to start a healthy life. Eat regularly, exercise even though it is just walking, avoid stress, this is important.

*

You know, since last KB I always recorded the date when I came to the moon. So I can tell when it's late and exactly when the monthly guests are coming. Often late coming, sometimes late to a week and sometimes even up to two weeks.

Therefore I always provide a testpack to find out whether pregnant or not. But the results are always disappointing, which is negative.

Disappointment comes back when what we want has not materialized. Even in my every prostration, I always pray for the owner of life to be blown into my womb. This is a prayer I always repeat.

Not wanting to be disappointed again with the results, I no longer do the test when the moon is late. I live my days like running water.

One day my stomach was cramping after crouching. And there's a little pain in the lower right abdomen. I ignored it, probably a pain before the moon came.

But until the pain was gone, it had even missed a few days my monthly guests did not come.

After I remembered and saw my routine record, it turned out that two months had passed I did not come to the moon. With a flowery heart and anxious hopes. After work I bought another test pack.

And the result is a line of two red, but the other one looks a little faint. Do I doubt positive or negative?

I didn't dare to tell her, afraid she was disappointed. But I told my friend, when a woman who has been pregnant must also understand better.

I showed you the photos stored in my cell phone gallery. And my friend looked at me with slightly teary eyes, silent for a moment, then..

"Hold, this is positive. I'm pregnant, geez, not finally..." He almost pranced if I didn't hold him back. Until some of my co-workers looked at me. From the beginning my friend knew how much I wanted this child.

I can't say anything, just tears that represent my feelings. Yeah, happy feelings.

After work I asked for a check-up to the midwife, and it was true after doing the USG I was positive pregnant and the gestational age was eight weeks.

Paksu did not show any excess happy expression. But I know she's happy to know I'm pregnant.

I went through my pregnancy with happiness. But it doesn't seem to be with a knife. I feel like he's changed a little. Especially when I forbid him not to go out the other night.

I'm not the type of wife who likes to curb a husband, my husband wants to hang out please, my husband wants a drink, Monggo. In fact, sometimes I who give money to buy drinks, even if I want to get drunk I do not forbid it as long as I have to drink in front of me.

Not to support the bad husband. But I don't want my husband hiding behind me. I prefer my husband to be honest. But since pregnancy, you rarely care. They often go home at dawn.

I don't want to think about it, but it's still a mind. If only I hadn't gotten pregnant, I would have let her go, wanted to go home or didn't I didn't care.

Because I don't want to keep stressing and having an effect on my fetus. I finally decided to resign early. I resigned when I was seven months old.