My Surgically Whipped

Prayer for a Third Night

The night was so long that I passed with a feeling that stifled my chest, while crying silently beside my little daughter, I hugged her little body tightly and kissed her cheeks once in a while, to win my broken heart, this activity of mine did not disturb Aisyah's deep sleep at all.

I did not feel like my eyes were so sore and heavy, maybe because I was crying alone for a moment, making me forget the words of Adam and go to my dream.

When I sleep was not very deep, the shadow of the request of Adam who wanted to marry again always crossed my subconscious, the words of Adam who always said overtime to me also swirled in my memory, as if a movie was being shown.

I woke up and looked at Aisyah again, her sleep was really very good.I took a few breaths and exhaled her slowly, to expel my uncomfortable feelings.

Did Adam who always said overtime lately, actually he accompanied the woman who was not his mahram, a woman who was haram to be seen let alone to be touched.

"God why all this is so, the household that I built lovingly slowly cracked without me knowing, whether this is all because my love for Adam was too excessive, so that I forget my love for you, Lord, give the best to our family, Lord, forgive me for all my faults." I said softly as I shed tears

I wrote the lyrics to the wall clock in her room Aisyah, it turned out to have hit 02.00 in the morning, although I closed my eyes only for a moment, but I could not get the slightest calm. I got up from my daughter's bed and stepped out of Aisyah's room towards the little Musala in our house.

I take the ablution water and prepare to perform the prayer one third of the night, I will stir you up, to my Lord the owner of the heart for all your frauds, your lies, all this time to me.

I immediately prayed tahajud, I gave all my thoughts and thoughts to the all-knowing god. The Lord of men, the king of men, the owner of the heart.

In each prayer reading, my tears flowed by themselves without my resistance, and I occasionally heard my sobs and cries in prayer until the end of the greeting.

I read Istighfar several times and a few times, I numbered my hand and pleaded with my Lord.

"God, I have been despised in this marriage, the heaven I built was suddenly bent over by someone else, and my husband who had opened the door to that person, he said, o Allah strengthen my heart to live this imperfect paradise, I leave everything to you, O Lord. only to you the servant asks and pleads, you are the best place to ask for help, Amen." my prayers.

After praying I continue again by reading some holy verses of the Koran, without feeling I fall asleep again until the dawn of the adhan reverberate.

After performing the morning prayers, I went downstairs to make breakfast for Adam, despite some problems, but I would not abandon my duties as a wife.

Now I'm in the kitchen, making some menus for Adam's breakfast, and also stocking up for under to the office.

" Zahra." call Adam behind me I stopped for a moment ignoring Adam.

"Zahra can you listen to my explanation first?,"

"What explanation do you want to explain to me, sir,?" I was cooking and preparing it on the dinner table.

I glanced at Adam with a cynical look, it could be that in the morning he was talking about the woman again, where your heart is, why are you tormenting my mind to this extent, dissatisfied last night you made my heart cry, say it in your heart.

"Zahra is actually me,"

"Actually you can't keep your eyes on it so you fall in love again so?, actually overtime that you always say that, when you accompany a woman who's not your mahram so right?, mas?, and foolishly I always believed in your words," I asked Adam. Adam was surprised by my question.

"Zahra I'm sorry, I beg you to forgive me,"

"I'm sorry, why do you apologize?, do you feel guilty for betraying me, how long did you betray me? two months ago you used to come home late on the grounds of overtime, meaning your relationship with the woman was already two months, wasn't it my guess?"

Still remembered in my memory, when Adam began to change 2 months ago, he often had nights and also often played hp secretly behind me.

"What are the advantages of that woman that I don't have?"ask Adam, but again Adam was silent.

"Tell me, two shortcomings, if you answer those two things I will allow you to remarry" about me.

"I love you Zahra" said Adam

"Bullshit with your love word mas, it's all just a lie, if you love me, you won't cheat with other women, just answer my question, what's my lack?, you know?, if you want me to let you marry again,"

"Father's mother." Our argument stopped because of the voice of Aisyah who called us both. I don't want my little daughter to hear the quarrel between her parents.

I approached Aisyah and I carried her. "Mother's son is awake, let's take a shower first, after that we have breakfast,"

I took Aisyah into her room, and bathed her and then came out again.

I saw that Adam was sitting on the dining table chair, I went to him and I filled the plate with rice and some side dishes, without saying a word. I sat down beside Aisyah and ate my own wishes while occasionally feeding Aisyah.

After finishing breakfast, Adam said farewell to me and Aisha. I delivered Adam's mas to the door, and I greeted his hands with reverence, I said, I did everything as if nothing had ever happened.

After Adam's departure I breathed a sigh of relief, I planned to go home to my parents, to calm my mind and heart for a few days there.

I packed some of my clothes and Aisyah "Darling we'll stay at the grandparents' house, happy no?" ask Aisha