My Patient Husband

Chapters 30. Labile 2

After hearing the opinions of each of my two best friends, I pondered what Rufi and Lita had said.

Rufi and Lita were in their rooms.

I was laying my body on the bed. After cleaning myself, I lay on my back staring at the ceiling of the room thinking about whether I should continue my relationship with Ando's sister or slowly withdraw from her. I am still a little disturbed by the conditions that I think Brother Ando is too mature for me.

I turned to face the wall while hugging my favorite bolster. Still with the same mind.

Suddenly the sound of my cell phone ringing broke my daydream.

I reached for the phone that was on the table. I saw Ando's name on the phone screen. I didn't press the green button to answer. I'm still with my thoughts about our relationship.

The call just ended. I stared at the screen of the black cell phone at the end of the call. But soon it came back ringing. Again I just stared at the name of the caller there was no intention to answer his call.

Until the fifth call I just pressed the green button to answer.

"Hello. Assalamualaikum..." My words were raspy, as if I had just woken up from my sleep.

"Well asleep?" Ask Ando in a surprised tone. The clock just showed at 9:10 p.m. This is not my sleeping hours, Brother Ando has memorized my sleeping hours habits so far.

"Just fell asleep but there was a sound of a call coming in so to wake up again." Weak talk.

"Yes went to sleep again. Sorry for disturbing your sleep." Said brother Ando.

"Mm.." I answered lazily.

"Assalamu'alaikum's chat..." Said brother Ando.

"Wa'alaikumsalam.." My answer.

I immediately disconnected the call from Brother Ando and sat pensively.

Immediately I gnawed guilt at Brother Ando.

I try to feel the feeling I am feeling. I think what I feel right now is not love. I was just amazed at the figure of Brother Ando.

Yes, I only admire him because of the maturity he has. He looks very authoritative. I feel like I have a brother who cares and cares for me. I'm sure this isn't love. I'm just amazed.

But don't you like the grown man Felisha? I'm fighting against disturbing thoughts.

On the one hand I feel proud and happy to know Ando's brother who is mature, authoritative and charismatic. On the other hand I feel less suitable with him because of the very striking character differences.

Brother Ando who looks very mature and charismatic, while I look very childish and unstable. How could we possibly be together.

For seven months more familiar with him, he always tried to keep pace with me, always patient with me who sometimes still can not control emotions if a lot of thoughts. As for me, until now I have not been able to compensate. I can't understand what he really is. What he wants.

I was really confused by my feelings.

"Have a nice dream"

Again, guilt lingered in my heart.

***

It has been four months since we started a serious relationship. Me and Brother Ando are still in a relationship, I haven't had the courage to make a decision about what I think.

Although my attitude towards him is unstable, sometimes I want to take phone calls from him but sometimes I do not want to receive it in a day, Ando remained patient. He wouldn't protest if I didn't want to talk to him.

Every time he has free time, Brother Ando will come to see me even though I do not want to be met. But after brother Ando came home, I felt so guilty to him, how evil I was with the attitude of brother Ando who was still the same as before we met face to face.

Ando's attitude is still the same as when he and I only knew each other over the phone. Nothing has changed. His attention to me has never faded.

There will be little attention given. And all of that makes a burden on me.

During these four months of inner warfare, my little heart did not want to lose all its attention but the thought always tempted me to just end it all because we were not a match. Always thought that me and brother Ando were so much different. Physically or otherwise.

I always want something that fits my criteria. Though all this time I have always admired the figure of an adult man who was adrift 5 years and above from my age.

Since entering Junior High School (First Middle School) I want to find a mature soul mate, whose age is a bit far from my age. I don't like brondong, I don't like it when a male partner is younger than a female, I don't know why I can think like that.

Didn't expect it turns out that until now I'm still a follower of the flow, do not like if men younger than me. Never thought I would like to go in droves. Let alone liking a man whose age is below mine, whom I have no interest in for the rest of my life.

That's what makes my relationship with Brother Ando still survive until now. My little heart doesn't want to lose Ando's brother, but sometimes the mind is still unstable.

Lita and Rufi also sometimes get upset with my attitude towards Brother Ando.

Lita said "If you have no taste with brother Ando mending break up aja Sha, do not need to be in so Ando, kasian tau. It's very good, patiently face you." said Lita.

"You will never find another man as good as Ando Sha, sure I am. You'll cry shock if Ando really miss you." Rufi.

I could only keep quiet, hearing the ramblings to my two best friends who were upset with my attitude towards Brother Ando who always wanted to avoid and was indifferent if Brother Ando came to see me.

One day Brother Ando asked me.

"You why Sha? Wouldn't it be comfortable if I came tonight? If it's not comfortable to say that I can't go home first if you don't want to meet."

I did not answer, just a little pouting, making Brother Ando smile and then move away.

After Ando's departure, I looked at his walking back leaving me until it disappeared from sight.

Instead of staring at the food box that is lying on the terrace table. My heart was as in the crumb as it looked at Brother Ando's attitude, the guilt over my attitude towards him grew. Breathing in, looking up at the ceiling held back tears from falling but still came down without me preventing it. I hurriedly removed the fear of Rufi and Lita seeing me. I really feel guilty.

I grabbed the food box and opened it, saw what Ando's brother had brought. My eyes sparkled when I saw the contents were my favorite food. Again my tears came down.

Ando put a burden on my heart at that moment.

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