Muhasabah Love

Muhasabah Love
Namira's sorrow



Arriving there, Sintia showed the grave of Malik and his son. Sintia pointed to the tombstone that inscribed Malik's name there. Namira saw her husband's name on the tombstone.


Namira was stunned to see the name written on the tombstone. Namira saw the new tombstone alternately with a tombstone inscribed with the name of someone bin Malik. Namira looked into the face of her mother-in-law who was fixated on staring at her son's grave. Then Namira asked. Whose grave was beside her husband.


"Ma.. This is a tomb. Who is ma? Why bin Malik's writing?" Namira asked with trembling lips.


"That's your son's grave!" Answer Sintia. Namira looked back at the grave. Body felt crushed concrete, the heart felt slashed with sharp machetes. Namira's body immediately felt weak and could no longer walk. Namira immediately knelt in front of their tomb. It's like a dream for Namira. A very bad dream.


"So.. is this all true? Why are you leaving so soon? Why are you staying with me mas?" Lirih. Sintia who is annoyed with Namira finally expels Namira. And forbid Namira to visit the tomb of her husband and son again.


"Enough Namira! Just save your crocodile tears. You are a fucking carrier!" Sintia Sudang. Unable to linger looking at Namira's face in front of him, Sintia held tightly to the base of Namira's arms and threw her to the ground. Until Namira falls.


Behind their quarrel, there was someone watching him from afar. It was none other than Monica. Monica was very satisfied with what was seen before her eyes.


"It turns out that it was not in vain, nor was my effort. I love seeing the sights today.. Turns out, I'd rather see Namira suffer than watch her die. I'll keep him like this. hahaha.." Her speech.


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Namira is not desperate for her efforts. Namira kept begging her mother-in-law to forgive her. Until Namira willingly rest at the feet of Sintia.


"I'm sorry ma.. I'm sorry. It's my fault.." His apology.


"Surge you! Never touch me with your dirty hands!" Said Sintia while kicking Namira until Namira bounced.


"I said go ya go! Do you know?"


Namira finally leaves the final resting place of her husband and son. I leave with a million sorrows. Sobbing, Namira stopped for a moment and turned to their tomb again.


"I'm sorry.. Everything is my fault.. If I had told you from the beginning, it probably wouldn't have happened like this. I'm sorry mommy is also dear. Because of mama's mistake, you have to be a victim." Inner groaned.


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Namira walked with a limp step. It was heavy for his feet to step. Her tears have dried up.


There was a thunderous sound. The sky was getting dark as if it was sad to see Namira who was sad. Then, the rain began to fall. The falling sky water often soaked all over Namira's body.


Namira's legs were no longer strong enough to move. Namira dropped his knee to the ground.


"Argh...... Argh.... Argh..." He screamed, covering his face with both hands.


"Why did this have to happen to me? Why is this loss so painful for me? Why god? Hix, hyx, hyx.." His complaint.


Someone came from behind with an umbrella. Iya approached Namira and held both the bases of Namira's arms . Then help Namira to stand up.


"Yes, God of Namira.. Why are you here? Let's get up, son.." He said while helping Namira stand up.


"Namira.we got into the car first huh umi baby.." Invite a woman who is often called Umi. Namira just followed.


"Namira... What happened to you son? Why are you raining like this? Why are you Namira?" Ask the girl.


Namira just kept quiet without answering her question. Namira's mouth feels locked. The woman understood Namira's situation. Maybe he is in a big shock right now. Nor did she force an answer from Namira.


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Drenched, Namira is driven home. Namira's parents are shocked by Namira's situation.


"Astaghfirullah.why are you soaking wet like this Namira?" Ask Hanifah who is astonished.


"Sorry wetadzah Hanifah, I found Namira with this condition on the side of the road. And it looks like Namira is going through a lot of shock.." Say that woman.


"Thank you syarifah.. Umi's already delivered my son.." Her speech.


"Sama-sama ustadzah.It is better that the Hanifah Ustadzah bring Namira first into the. Let him rest first.Namira may want to be alone first.." Say that woman.


"Well.thank you, please sit down first.." Hanifah. First, Hanifah takes Namira to her room. And leave it alone first so that his mind is calmer.


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"What exactly is going on with Namira ustadzah? Why is he like that?" Ask the woman called Umi.


"I don't know either.. Even I myself was shocked Umi. Namira came home like that." Answer Hanifa.


"Have something happened lately?" Ask the umi. Hanifah also remembered the events that befell the death of Malik and his grandson.


"Don't.." His murmur could not continue his words.


"Ustadzah?" Umi's speech surprised Hanifah daydreams.


"Yes, there is a long story.I can't tell you this now.. Because I also don't know the cause of Namira being like this right now." Answer Hanifa.


"Well ustadzah. sometime I come here again to see the condition of Namira. Please let me know if there's anything about Namira. Because from the past until now, Namira was still a special child for me.. He's been thought of as my own son.." Say the Umi.


"Well Umi, thank you for your concern for Namira.." His word.


"Then.. Excuse me first.." The Umi syarifah. Hanifah drove the Umi Sharifah to the front door.


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Namira hasn't been out of the room all day. Hanifa looked at Namira in her room. And Hanifah invites Namira to leave the room.


"Namira.we're outside yuk baby. You've been all day in the room continues.got good loh son.." Take Hanifah. Namira turned to her mother. Then saying.


"Why did you lie to me?" Namira.


"What does Namira mean?" Hanifah asked pretending not to understand. Namira finds out that her mother pretends not to understand Namira's words.


"Don't pretend you don't know Mom.. I know you're just pretending, right?" Namira.


"Namira.. You why?" Ask Hanifa again.


"Why do Mom and Dad lie to me? Dad said Malik was alive, and my son was alive. But they don't exist, do they?" Namira said while unable to hold the clear water in her eyes to come out.