LIFEWEAR

NINGSIH DIARY

God, I'm lucky to have known him. Luckily it was once part of his life story. Although I could never be his life partner.

I am happy, and I am very happy. When can

seeing happy. At least the wound I've ever tore it there's a cure.

In the past, the first time I knew him, the first time I met him, he was always there for me. Be the first person who is always there for me. She always looked after me, being the shield of my every problem, like a big brother who had always been my protector.

I'm right like a protected sister, yeah very, very protected.

I remember when he introduced me to his best friend. I was paired with his best friend. Although actually at that time I even had feelings precisely for him.

Without me realizing that all this was the beginning of the mistake I made. Loving her, which I hoped would be the beginning of happiness, turned out to be a dream during the day that was never fulfilled.

I am aware and can feel how much love I have for me. And I didn't realize that the feeling that was growing in his heart was the beginning of the pain I was making.

I only realized when I married Dimas. The one in her revenge story. Which made me like a whip to avenge his pain against him.

I wanted to scream back then, curse all my life, but all I had to endure for the sake of him I love. I had to hold on to see him no longer in a vendetta he never realized. But in fact, the grudge is still lingering.

God, I've been trying to throw that grudge away but apparently for a second never made it all change.

The pain the more I feel. Every day after that day, I should be lucky to be the right wife to serve my husband, or happy to be able to serve my husband. But in fact, he touched me and vented his passion for revenge. Without the tenderness and love that surrounds every relationship. There is only lust that continues to hurt my heart. It was as if I was not his wife, but a street woman who became his lustful woman.

Even when I was pregnant with her child, she took it all out without thinking about the pain I was feeling. He always said his name in a faithful relationship. All his insults, vows and grudges made me even more hurt mind and body.

And it all ended when my womb fell and I was sentenced to no longer be able to have children. It was not that he was with me to make amends, but instead left me as if I had become a useless piece of junk. Proudly he left me as if he was content to destroy the life of one who was in the life of his enemy.

It broke my heart then, everything I did was meaningless. I felt a terrible destruction, only my prayer at that time, may God always protect my loved ones.

A few days ago, it was as if I heard her voice wake me up. And sure enough, when these eyes opened right then and there I saw it again. And was beside her the Goddess who was holding her hand. Honestly, I'm jealous, but considering everything I feel happy. Happy because he is happy now.

My only hope is that they both live a peaceful, happy and happy life. If they are happy, I am very happy.

I feel tired, I want to rest. Everything I've been through makes me want to sleep if I remember. The diary, thank you for accompanying me. Now I want to rest. Thanks though.