LIFEWEAR

REALITY AND FEELING

Every human being has their own dark side. Must have secrets. Must have had bitter memories that were eager to be erased.

But what is the power of man when God gives the ability to remember in the head.

The day of my departure for the city of M has arrived.

I was taken by my parents to the bus terminal. The distance between my city and M city is not too far away. It only takes two and a half hours to travel.

My parents were so heavy to take me off. Maybe because this is the first time I've lived far away.

"When you get to the news?" Mama said while clasping tightly to my hand.

"Yes, Mom. Don't look at his face, dong. Ugly knows!!!" My heart while hugging Mom.

"I'll try to go home once a week. If you have money.hehe.." Add me again.

"Do not have to go home.craftsmen aja phone here yes.if often go home, dear money." Said the Father while rubbing my head.

I also nodded. Then I left too. On my way to check my phone.

I read one by one the incoming messages. Tuta, Gama and Luna.

Somehow I was a little disappointed, Gama couldn't deliver. He said there was family business.

Ah.. never mind...I also decided to sleep.

At last....Until also. After getting off the bus, I immediately looked for public transport to my mag. Sunny Store.

Soon I arrived in front of a beautiful building. The building is in the style of a British royal palace. And I'm sure the customers must be rich people.

I was greeted with a warm smile from a graceful and beautiful woman. He's about 40. But she was so elegant in a peach-colored knee-length dress. That's definitely expensive.

We also sat in his room. The room is so beautiful, full of soft pink shades.

"Kimura's." As soon as he introduced himself.

"Come,Buk. I'm usually called Risa." I welcome his hand. Ahh.a very delicate hand.

"Our working hours, from eight to five in the afternoon. Sunday and our big day off. Your starting salary, training salary first yes. It was only temporary. I'll review your progress. Understand Risa?" Obviously at length.

"Yes, Mom."

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"Already Mom. Not far from here."

"In the beginning you may be a little troubled. Because you will work in all parts. Starting from measuring, cutting cloth and so on. For more details tomorrow will be explained by my staff."

I just nodded. I finally decided to go home.

Arriving at the hostel that Luna was looking for, I took a shower. I chose to lay down my body in a mattress.Tired and tired.

Oh yea! I forgot to tell my family. I also called briefly, informing him that I had arrived.

I checked Whatsapp messages. No incoming messages. I'm a little disappointed.

What am I? Why did I start thinking about Gama?

Nah!Nah!nay! Focus Risa!!!!

*****

I've been through three days. Everything went smoothly. My body is so tired. I want to get to the hostel and get some rest.

Lucky it's red tomorrow. So I can relax a little. While waiting for public transportation, a luxury car stopped right in front of me. Car door open...

"Hi. Come on in."

"Grand!!" My screams don't believe it.

"Let's go in. I'll drive you home."

I'm frowning. I wish there was Tuta there. There ain't! my thinking.

I'm going home by myself." I'm nervous.

"Come on...The hibiscus!!."

Seeing people start to notice, I decided to go up.

"Where does it work?" Gama broke the silence.

"Ba.good." My voice started to shake. I squeezed my fingers and started sweating. My heart beats unbecoming.

"You sick?" Gama holds my forehead. Quickly I shook his hand. My hands are moving reflexively.

"Sorry." Saying later.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing."

I saw Gama's face astonished at my behavior. I also want to be ordinary. But my brain and my body can't work together.

"Lho..this isn't the way to my boarding house, Gam?"

"Ki...where are we going?" Added again.

"Secret." He smiled gently. But somehow all I saw was a terrible grin.

I've reminded myself many times that it was Gamaliel. My brain can't think straight.

I also started crying. I started to mumble indistinctly.

"Down me, please...." My voice vibrates. My tears are starting to fall. My face paled.

"Hey...Risa's...You why?" Gama also started to look panicked. He also called someone. Then find a place to stop.

I saw someone coming in on a sports bike. I'm getting scared. Even moving I am no longer able to. My chest is tight, my breathing is irregular.

"Miss."My peek. I ran over and hugged him.

"What are you doing?!" Tuta asked in an angry tone.

"I didn't do anything! I just picked her up."

I'm starting to calm down a little. I let go of my embrace.

"I was wrong. You guys don't fight."

They look at me in wonder. We also found a place to sit for a while. A cafe that is not so crowded.

"I actually have bitter memories that I never reveal to anyone else." I'm down.

"If it's heavy, don't tell Ris." Gama said so softly. Ah.. This man is so good. But I've confused him.

I shook my head.

"I have to tell you." I'm lirih.

A FEW YEARS AGO

At that time, I was still in High School. First class of the second semester. We got the task of Indonesian group. Interview assignments.

One group consists of 5 people. And our group had two female students. Me and Dara. While his 3 male students consist of Dana, Santo and Radit. Radit is the son of our principal. The three of them included troubled disciples. Because they come from a rich family.

Dara and Santo were in a relationship at the time. I, who rarely get along, become a bit clumsy to be among them.

We decided to raise the theme of traditional markets. The interview must be recorded. So I feel kind of lucky to have a friend who makes money. They can support all accommodations and cameras

Saturday is the time we choose. Using Radit's car we set off. By 4pm we were done.

"Jok yok." Bring Dana.

"I have to go home. It's running out of angkot." My answer.

"Later we will deliver. C'mon Ris..It's sunday night." Pinta Dara's.

I also gave up. I'll tell my parents soon. If I go home a little late.

We also buy food and drinks as supplies. I was more precisely treated. Because I don't have any money.

We stopped on a hill. There is a cafe lined up. This Sunday night is indeed a crowded visitor with young people. The car is parked a little in a quiet place.

"Cocochere? There's a lot of people." I asked innocently.

" It's too noisy." Said Radit.

"We're going out first, guys." Say Santo, then embrace Dara and get out of the car. They went somewhere. While Dana wants to buy cigarettes.

Stay me with Radit just the two of you in the car. He asked me to sit next to him on the driver's bench.

At first everything was normal. Shortly thereafter Radit began to act impudently. He locked the car door.

"Not to sell expensive." Said at that time.

I was struggling, crying and begging. Radit is becoming more and more. He started kissing me. With all my might, my friend. The kucakar!I kick and I hit....Unrewarding.

Radit is becoming. He began to lock my body by hitting my body. I started screaming as hard as I could.

He stuffed my mouth and tore my shirt off. I'm getting more and more upset. Fierce fighting ensued. By sharing the way I tried to reach the car horn.

Tiinn...! Tinn! Tiinn...!

I honked as loud and as much as possible. Hope help comes soon.

It worked!!

People began to arrive and forcefully opened the car door. Radit who started to fear stopped his actions.

I survived! I never stopped praying to give thanks to God.

the flashback

"I wanted to erase it from my memory. But I can't." I tried to hold back the crying.

"Well worst of all, Radit's parents twisted the facts. They say I was the one who seduced his son. I want to blackmail them.aaaaa Not a single friend stood up for me. They're all mumbling. Money was in power at the time." My eyes started to glaze over.

"Everybody started gossiping about me. At school and in the village. Some say I've slept with men a lot, I******, my parents sold me and so on." Obviously I'm at length.

"I finally decided to learn martial arts. To protect myself."

"That's why you're so ferocious." Say Tuta while mangut mangut.

Suddenly Gama grabbed my hand. He looked at me gently. His eyes were like he was saying everything would be fine. We looked at each other for a long time.

"Woi..here people yes! Not glass!"

Gama and I were shocked.

"Whisper!" concluded Gama.

Tuta laughed too. I just smiled shyly.

"Go home yuk. I'm lazy to be a mosquito guard here." Tuta Whine.

We also left.

Something warm is running through my heart. Comfort began to appear.

Wish...May I hope?

Should I hope a little?