Is I In Your Heart

The Heart of Khaira

*** That pain came when I had to choose her over you that I loved for so long, burying all the feelings and dreams I wanted to achieve with you. Sorry not that I don't want to be faithful waiting for you back, but fate forced me to stop waiting for you and give everything away. For you who I love may you get better than me who is able to wait for you to the limits of his ability ***.

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Arriving at home khaira directly headed to his room.on entering the room khaira immediately threw his body on the bed that is not too big.

Today's activities make the khaira body crumble after going through a fairly long journey to make a marriage contract, he also has to prewed in two different places and in a distance, far away, plus she had to wear a dress that weighed almost the same as her weight.

Khaira and her family arrived home more than 6 pm, because the travel time from the last shooting place with the khaira house was about an hour and a half.

Khaira closed her eyes to make her body more relaxed, enjoying the comfort of lying on her bed. after he felt his body had improved enough he woke up and immediately grabbed a towel and opened the dress he had been wearing during the photo shoot, then rushed to the bathroom to clean the sweat on his body.

20 Minutes passed khaira out of the bathroom by wrapping a towel around his body.His legs stepped towards the closet taking a light green robe. when he wanted to step into the bathroom he heard the sound of azan reverberating.he resumed his steps into the bathroom wearing the clothes he had chosen and then berwudhu to perform the prayer magrib.

After finishing the prayer khaira sitting in front of the dressing table in his room.Gaze his shadow face dikermin. face that covers a thousand wounds in his heart. khaira lowered her face trying to hold back the tears that had been reminisced in her eyes. she accidentally saw Inai painting in her hand the red color that adorns her fingers and palms.

The tears that had been held since the end of his day flowed profusely on his cheeks. he must be happy because now he has found his life companion especially handsome men who become idols of teenagers like Alfi, coupled with his profession as a volleyball athlete and a co-pilot.

But now what he felt was not happiness but tightness in his chest.His tears continued to flow and his heart was increasingly broken when remembering someone who had long awaited him was forced to forget.

Even though his relationship with rizwan without certainty and also khaira never know how rizwan feels about him, But he continued to wait until at the end of his he had to give up and all his long wait ended in vain.Sometimes his heart also wondered 'is he in the heart of rizwan? should he wait without any certainty from the person he always longs for? '

But there was never an answer to any of his questions, which he felt was only a tormenting feeling when he could not find the person he missed.

Only through prayer does he express all his longings.express all his grievances to the owner of the heart, always praying that he and his loved ones are found in a sacred bond.

But all of them now can no longer be realized because it turns out that God has chosen someone to accompany his life. IKHLAS is what he wants to achieve even though in reality it is not as easy as when saying it.

Khaira looked at herself in the mirror wiping her tears and then she opened the drawer on her dresser. it was a diary khaira book that contained the outpouring of his heart.

💞 Khaira POV 💞

I looked at myself in the mirror and I wiped the tears that ran down my cheek, and then I opened the drawer that was on my dresser, I pulled out a book that contained an outpouring of my heart.

I started to open up sheet by sheet, trying to read every piece of writing I wrote with my hands, my heart breaking even more as I remembered the first time I met Rizwan. when I was tormented for holding back my longing for her and when I was in a state of unease waiting for her.

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Diaries...

Sometimes this miss comes to me, though,

I miss meeting you

Missing to joke with you

And miss everything about you...

I want to meet you

And seeing yourself for even a moment

That's enough to be a cure for my miss...

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Diaries.....

Should I wait for you here?

And I don't know

Am I in your heart?

Do you love me too?

And also waiting

The moments we will meet?.

Waiting without certainty

That's not an easy thing

Waiting for you to come back.

I just wish

All my waiting will not be in vain

And someday all my dreams

Being with you will come true....

❤❤❤❤

My tears flowed back as I read every stanza written on the white paper.

wounds, longs and disappointments all become one.So great hope to live with rizwan now will only be a memory for me.

I pray in my heart that God will immediately erase this feeling and that I can recapitulate everything that happened.

It turns out true what Silvia said at that time, sincere is very easy to say but so difficult for us to do it.

Right now I just know, it feels like this pain, when we let go of our loved ones and try to make love to them.

If I could choose, I'd like to never fall in love, never feel how he feels when we miss him and how he feels when we are forced to forget him for the sake of someone we never loved.

I no longer deserve to think about him, miss him and hope to meet him because now I have a companion in my life, even though I can't love her yet but at least I can still be devoted to her. I'm sure that love will come with its own when me and Alfie are already living together.

But now the problem is Alfi, I do not know much about the man who has now become my husband.how is his behavior?

how's neighborhood?

does he have a lover or not?

But I've heard if he's still alone and has no lover, but who can believe it just considering his pretty handsome face all women would want to be his lover.

there's not much I know about him, I just know he's a volleyball athlete and works at an airport in our area. The second of three children, has an older sister and a younger sister who are the same age as me. And it looks like he also comes from a family that is.

Maybe this will be the hardest thing for me in dealing with it, let alone our differences that are too far away make me feel unworthy to be beside him, coupled with his attitude that blatantly shows that he does not like me in the least.

Huuff.... I breathed my rough breath, tired of thinking about everything that was happening to me. It felt so complicated the journey of the love story I went through. right now all I have to think about is how to deal with Alfi's attitude towards me later.

"Tokk... "

the sound of knocking on the door of my room made me realize from my long daydream.I saw the remaining tears in my eyes and then I wiped them with a tissue.

" Khaira come out you have not eaten since you better eat first, after that you immediately rest so that tomorrow you look fresh, remember tomorrow will be a happy day as well as tiring for you so you have to rest a lot" said Mama from behind the door.

I breathed my breath rough thinking about tomorrow, while I still had to go through the exhausting days as I feel today, playing in front of everyone by trying to smile even though I was actually hurt.

" he ma khaira wants to pray first out of it and then eat khaira" I said from inside the room

After that no longer heard the voice of the mother from the outside maybe the mother has returned to the kitchen.

I got up from my seat rushed to the bathroom to worship and then I performed the prayer 'isya.

after I finished praying I sat on my dressing table again, I saw my eyes slightly damp because I was crying earlier. I put a little powder on my face and put a little lipstick on my lips.now my eyes look not too swollen anymore,.

Then I opened the door to the outside of the room, I saw there were still some neighbors who were still in my house, they were talking again, I don't care what they were talking about.

I went straight to the dinner table and opened the hood that was on it. I saw a lot of food presented there, but I did not taste at all, saw the food presented. despite not having an appetite but I forced myself to fill my stomach with a little food so as not to empty. finished eating I went back to the room, I went back to the room, I'd be reluctant if the people who were there asked me about my wedding this morning.

💞 Khaira POV end 💞

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Thank ye.

@ety salmila