If you were Tau Rasaku

According to the heart

Repeatedly I took a breath regulating my heartbeat which raced irregularly, tight and agitated this heart. I know that since my return back then, there was something wrong with Aa Vin not a family matter but rather a matter of the heart.

The more I became aware of the taste, the more I tried to close my eyes even though I was very aware of it. I want to be selfish for myself, I hate and want to be angry when I see the look in his eyes for the owner of my heart. Really if it was someone else maybe I'd already made a calculation with him.

My tightness grew when yesterday Aa Vin clearly acknowledged the taste for my Quuen. Even without hesitation he said make all the sacrifices for the queen's happiness with me.

I knew and was well aware that the sacrifice He meant was the sacrifice of the heart, making me pessimistic about the queen's taste for me. I was afraid that what I did all this time would only be a burden to him and curb his freedom.

To be honest, I want to know what kind of queen is still in store for Aa Vin. But I could not ask him directly, so I used the word as a gesture, but I never took into account his feelings. I offended him with my statement.

Queen left with a wound, I could see from the look in her eyes, I did not want that to happen but I had no other way to get an answer from my anxiety.

If indeed the taste is still left behind and stored neatly in their hearts, then let me be the one who ignites and goes far. It is not too late if they want to be together. Aa Vin and Lidya's marriage has not yet taken place.

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" Why else lue Yan? tumben's suddenly hanging out here. Uh not hijak anyway but "rule" basic ya."

Raga came while carrying my bag, haha funny yes when the men prestige to bring her bag I am willing to ask Raga for help to do it.

" There's nothing, just curious Ga. As long as I work here only 2 times I set foot here, the first because of the wrong way, and now this."

I tried to cover up all the bitterness of my heart, not wanting anyone else to know. Let me be the only one who feels it myself. I can't be selfish about telling my problems when I know other people are in trouble.

" Yes right, the air here is cooler even." Raga went to stretch both hands while taking a breath in enjoying the cool air in the hot sun this afternoon.

" But by the way if there is a better snack anyway Yan, beware yes I want to buy some snacks first so add fitting our lazy event today."

Raga passed by without waiting for my answer first. It's been him that way.

" Huuff.What should I do God, why is my life full of drama like this?." I ask myself

°°°°

I was dim, my heart was bitter, though it hurt and tore my asia.

Now I try, change my heart to live my day.

But all of that was too, too as breathless as your shadow teased me

But realizing I had to brush off everything about you, you broke my core.

Scratched back one wound in my heart, settles the soul.

I want to run trying to be untouched by the soul's wishful thinking in my heart,,

Sitting alone in the corner of the cafe accompanied by music from "Shifter, Luka" this makes me more determined to continue my steps.

I admit there will be many obstacles and thorns that I have to face after this, but let's just say my marriage will be the gateway to all the problems in the Rahma family.

Sometimes I regret what my life means, but again I have to be grateful for everything I have received. And now when I sacrifice.

°°°°°°

" Yan, there's news coming by on me. Says your brother is getting married next week? really true?."

" I don't have papa?."

" What does not papa mean? I don't understand what your question means."

" Have you ever felt like Brother Andra?"

Eh, it turns out that Raga also had the same thoughts about my race, so easily can they read my heart?. Though I myself was not sure of my race to Brother Andra when it was love or comfort? why do they so easily conclude? does AL think so too? that's why he asked the same basic question as the question Raga said just now. Gosh why I didn't think there, why am I so upset and gone.

" Crazy you Ga, where there is so. I'm just comfortable with Brother Andra's whereabouts, probably because I'm far from my family and sister. That's why when he's around all the time I feel like someone's protecting."

I tried to describe what was on my mind, as I myself dived into what it felt like to have something strange in my heart when I said it? it turns out ordinary, it means that the feeling is indeed a sense of comfort because having a sister is not comfortable as a lover.

" Just comfortable?"

" Why are you?, the name is so great"

" It's nothing Yan, I'm afraid you have other feelings for your brother Andra."

" Huuf, why do people like to conclude things without wanting to see reality first? it's wrong if we feel comfortable with someone but not love?"

" It's not so, but sometimes people will see us just from the casing of Yan, like when you are with Mr. Andra a smile is always engraved on your lips every day, different at the time of the engagement she held that smile was gone somewhere."

" Your song Ga, use dramatizing all. It's a good time to be a film director. Could-can hitz tuh the film stay add spice a little, steady dah." My ledek

" Setdah, I whose intentions ngebully mala got bullied myself. What the hell is Yan's brain? really very loading."

" It's pentium 16 wkwkekwk, fuck you this."

" You really don't have any more problems, do you?."

" No, I don't believe you very much."

" Yes, let's enjoy this relaxing time by telling a story."

I just shook my head to see Raga's sometimes ridiculous behavior, not knowing if I didn't have friends like Raga, maybe my day would get worse and quieter.

maybe my body is joking in this Park with Raga but my mind wanders far away somewhere, I myself do not know what to think first.

Sometimes I want to be indifferent and indifferent to every person's problems, but sometimes there is a sense of pity so that it is not up to the heart to silence it.

So even about "Love" I can't be young to express it. Not infrequently people often consider me a arrogant person, that's because I prefer to stay silent and only tell stories with people closest to me like this Raga for example.

***If the heart could speak for itself without having to ask the mouth to represent maybe all would be younger.

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