High School Autobiography (Hero Generation)

CHAPTER 39: CULMINATION IS THIRD. (Part 1)

At 19:01 p.m., I arrived at the hospital, where my husband was being treated. I even still look the same as this morning, black dress with long denim pants.

Before I got here, I had to fight my way through various reporters, I didn't answer their questions, just kept saying 'don't know' and just kept walking towards the highway, then take a taxi until I get here.

The atmosphere of this hospital is quite crowded, the humans still fill the lobby, the aroma here also remains fragrant, no matter what. I stepped towards the reception desk, and after asking permission, I was allowed to see my husband.

Without any more lingering, I entered into the 'ICU' room, confronted by the scent of medicine, and the vast environment is still with medical equipment that is quite complete and two patient beds that are located side by side are still in place, but the focus of my eyes is fixed right on the patient bed in front of me, a human wrapped in bandages covering all parts of his body, except for two of his neutrals, was lying stiff there, my husband still lying helplessly.

I slowly moved my feet closer to him, and along with that, my atelophobia began to crackle inside me, my breathing began to feel heavy, it was difficult to see the harsh reality of my life, let alone me who always demanded perfection.

“Haah, Harfa ..” lirihku so sad, hope he does not suffer as much as me.

I was too selfish, when I wanted to be understood, it was in front of me that I should understand, it should be Harfa that I encourage life, right, Harfa must have suffered a lot with her condition, she said, she had no one left, except her aunt's uncle, but I was the one who was close to her, and I should have been the one who was always there for her.

My eyes for some reason suddenly began to tear up, my breathing felt tight, and I bit unexpectedly. Now in a short distance, my husband can clearly be looked at. I stood to his left.

Harfa, who had been closed, now slowly exposed his eyelids, there, his black net, moving towards me, the black net seemed to sparkle at me. Maybe, if his mouth wasn't bandaged, I could see his smile.

Nevertheless, I began to worry, my atelophobia began to crack, only, my steady determination, my firm intention, had rounded to defeat myself.

In the veil of my heart, in the bitterness of my mind, I looked into my husband's eyes.

“Ma-sorry ... I ..” I said bowed with regret. Obviously I am sorry, because after all, I have left my husband like an ungodly wife.

“No need to apologize, don't think I don't know you ...” My husband replied casually.

I took a deep breath and exhaled strongly, clutching my fingers tightly in my head, struggling to stay calm and relaxed.

“Try to put it in your head, that your hobby actually makes you imperfect,” suggested Harfa.

I shook my head and said, “No way, I've tried.” Even in saying the reason, my teeth were bitten, all my veins stiffened.

“Quiet ... quiet, Laisa. You can go, if you can't, you can go ..” Harfa said resignedly.

“ENGKAK!” sentakku refused.

“A-I ... I came here because of my initiative, I, I came here, because ... you are left,”.

”Sisa yes? In that case, what if I turn ugly, you want to keep me here? Or if I don't have a hand, will you come here again? Or ... if I'm not perfect would you still accept me?“ ask Harfa seriously.

I took a deep breath, opened my eyes wide, tried as calmly as possible, however, I should be able to defeat myself.

Everything's fine.

Everything's fine.

Everything's fine.

I tried to insult myself, and it worked.

”If my husband changes, is that still my husband?“ I made sure while looking into my husband's black eyes.

”Yes, if I have no hands, if my body is not perfect, it is still me, yes, because I am Harfa, your husband who you are proud of as a perfect man,“ replied Harfa.

”Yes, then, I want to accompany you,“ reply.

”OK .. let's just say I'm perfect, because .. I'm your husband,“ Harfa said.

”Iya.“ I answered briefly while nodding.

Until we sting, but our eyes meet each other's eyes, so intensely we are berhirobok each other, making silence covers us, no one speaks, we feel at home to look friendly. But, I did not smile, just looked into my husband's eyes full of love and compassion. Simultaneously, gradually, my soul began to calm down, my fingers stopped clenching, everything began to relax.

”Oh yes .. By the way, your hair is messy,“ Harfa said.

”Eh?“ I was surprised by Harfa's statement.

But I hurriedly cut my hair, tidied it by combing my hair by my fingers.

”Where are you from?“ ask husband.

As soon as I remembered my purpose, I remembered the tragic death.

”I've never seen you so moody ... except today, what, you're troubled by me?“ My husband was worried and blamed himself.

”Ngak ...,“ refute me with sadness.

”I, I'm desperate .. I failed to make Loze change, then ... Anka, died, all my friends were finished off by Loze,“ I continued with a rasp and heavy to say.

My husband was silent for a moment, he looked me in the eye, scanning to investigate the truth of my speech.

”Your best friend?“ the check.

I nodded so bitterly.

”Just cry Laisa, do not you pendam, as long as not to overdo it .. You can be afraid, but for the sake of good and not excessive,“ pinta Harfa gently. And it seems like he believed my words.

So touched my mind and heart, touched by his words and tone of voice. I was breathing so heavily, that my eyes, beginning to fill with tears, got wet, then drained away the tears of pain, flowing down my cheeks.

”Haah .. haah ...“ I even felt heavy to breathe.

”Despaired, for failing to stop Loze?“ tanya Harfa made sure.

”Hiks .. yes ... I, instead incited by his words, I thought of the charge that I was a stupid child, I became afraid of my future, I felt useless, I felt like I was a fool, I want to die ...,“ I said bluntly and began to sting, even several times had time to swallow my saliva.

“The world is full of lies huh Laisa? When reality is not in accordance with desire, the world has often deceived, when love and hard work are always not paid properly, and by violence, all new people will listen, so 'right Laisa?” reply my husband by concluding what I think.

I nodded confirming, and my eyes bowed bitterly at the bed sheets.

“Laisa, actually there is all in your own mindset, when the world gives you lies, whether immediately, you believe in it, or you reject it, our efforts are sometimes betrayed by results, indeed sometimes betrayed by results, sometimes the dream has to end because we wake up, but from that, you have to conquer yourself, because, you are the one who experienced it, remember, formed by history, or formed history,” said Harfa.

“Shaped by history, or forming history?” I repeat with deep reflection.

“Yes, submit to the world, or you subjugate the world,” my husband again tries to motivate me.

I was stunned, contemplating and digesting my husband's words.

“Turn off the lights, if there is a bright daylight illuminating our house,” my husband said in the garish.

“I don't understand your tropes,” I complained.

“Do not overuse the lights, later the bill soars,” explained Harfa.

“Ooh .. so I can't overdo it, so?” I'm ascertaining.

“Yes, everything that is excessive, and does not know the intended, will even give birth to disappointment, then comes despair, do not know what you are headed, will you become confused 'right?” obviously Harfa.

“I-iya anyway, I was confused,” I said.

“Nah ... do not overdo it, it is easy, as long as you are grateful, during that time, your hard work is a good result, if the problem of the desired result, not nothing, I've heard, there is a man who prays for all humans to go to hell, well try, if all desires and hopes are easy to happen, then, we must all be in hell ..”.

”But ...,“ my speech faltered.