High School Autobiography (Hero Generation)

CHAPTER 38: HE IS THE MINDSET. (Part 1)

The air began to cool, my body assumed a fever, my mind tangled in despair of dying, the solution felt only formed for my soul to be evil, but I was at a loss as to what to answer to my life, I was confused, now the afternoon began to approach the night, no matter what time it was, because at this time I was apathetic and tired.

In the heart of the nestapa, agitated by the bloody incident, I set foot on the porch of my house, then stepped on the edge of the porch, facing the path of my house, and with a desperate mind, the sirens of police cars were buzzing in front of my gate. They came at an inopportune time, all my classmates, have died tragically.

I sat still, staring at the police presence in apathy, especially until they put the gun, but unfortunately, the enemy is dead by himself.

I bowed down gloomily, my hands grabbed my hair, how scared my mind was, how confused I was, I bitten with a faster snatch, lamenting the tragic death of my friends, I was desperate to survive.

A stupid girl like me, a girl who always wanted to get anything, a girl who always demanded perfection, a girl who was temperament in her anger, I, today feel more stupid than ever, I am really frustrated with my life today.

How not, my spirit and optimism have been outdone by the words of Loze, have been outdone by this bitter fact, moreover, my only friend, Anka, has passed away so quickly, making my soul feel shaken, then forming a feeling of frustration, despair with my next life, because after all, I failed to make Loze change, failed already, already failed.

“Laisa.” A sudden call from a man I knew, a man who told me to write an autobiography.

Slowly with his hump, I turned my face to Brother Farka, as well as removing my beard from my hair.

Apparently, not only was Brother Farka standing in front of me, Brother Fikia had been standing looking at me seriously, they were standing within a meter. They appeared neat in front of me, Sister Fikia wore a black blazer that covered her white shirt and black formal pants, while Kak Farka still wore a black suit with her proud black formal pants.

Besides, a lot of cops with medics are coming, more than that! Journalists, reporters arrived, but I just saw them at the gate of my house, blocked by police lines, wait! Not yet there, a helicopter hovered in the air, it was quite far away, but the roar of its propellers rang out all the way here, thankfully noiseless.

It looks like Loze made history, history about a high school student who massacred one class to set a bad example that is not to be imitated. And of course, this event will be remembered as the tragic history of the city of Artana, the bonus, adding to the quality of criminal acts in the city of Artana.

The two faces of the brothers in front of me looked at me with pity, it didn't take long, Brother Farka crouched down in front of me, leaving a distance of two just for Brother Farka to be able to hold my knee.

“Laisa ..” Brother Farka called me softly.

Even so, I was even downcast, disappointed and desperate.

“You're okay, right?” Brother Farka confirmed my condition.

“I ... I don't want to live anymore,” lirihku.

A few seconds Brother Farka was silent, he was surprised by my statement. Until this silence was replaced by the busyness of some police, in order to secure the surrounding area, complete with securing the body of my friend to the body bag. They act fast, but also with caution.

“Laisa .. you are a precious girl for us, you must stay alive for your precious self.” Brother Farka is trying to motivate me.

”I, I'm just a stupid child .. For what people read the autobiographies of bad and stupid children, how many children who excel out there, why should stupid children like me?“ my lament.

”Prestoration? A fool? Did we ever ask you to do well in school? Did we ever ask you to be a smart kid?“ ask Farka to make sure.

I was just able to enjoy my breakup.

”So the villain who is more evil or becomes a greater hero, you want to write an autobiography or not, it doesn't matter, you want to be a villain, it doesn't matter, but Laisa, it's not, if you give up, you are more despicable than a criminal, because .. a thief does not give up to achieve what he wants to achieve, he still tries to get the stolen goods ... but, a desperate man, what is worth to be considered a man? Even considered criminals are not suitable,“ said Kak Farka trying to encourage me.

”My parents are gone! My best friend is gone! Life is getting heavier and heavier! The bitter truth is still bitter! It hurts so much!“ my sergeant stared angrily at Brother Farka. Angry that Brother Farka doesn't understand my suffering.

Brother Farka is just pensive.

”That charge, everything accuses me of being a stupid, handicapped child, not having a bright future, I can't afford Sis, life feels heavy ..“ I groaned in despair.

Brother Farka and sister Fikia just sting, digesting well my words.

“Revenge with achievements? No Brother, it will only bring envy to some others, and my ideals are too far and strange to achieve...”

“... My best friend has left, then my motivation was lost, when I tried to stop Loze, it was I who was even affected, I failed .. I was more stupid than a rabbit, I was more stupid,” further I still bowed in despair.

Brother Farka was silent, pondering, who seemed to be looking for a strong argument to keep me motivated.

“You need money? Brother can help, or do you need anything else? Sister ready to help.” Brother Farka is back trying to get me up.

“Renlightening is the best way to save yourself from the weight of the test of life, I want to give up,” reply me by raising my face looking at Kak Farka's face seriously.

A few seconds of our eyes rubbed against each other, then Brother Farka got up from the squat. He grabbed his phone from his pocket by walking to the side of a rather quiet place, of course looking for a quiet place, he called someone.

In that case, I felt such a deep pain, I lamented my failure, always, my attempt to be betrayed by the results.

“Hei Laisa ..” exclaim Kak Fikia with semringah.

Suddenly I looked up at him questioningly and lazily.

“... You know that you came here because of a crime? You also know that police brother, yes, you know because of the appearance and the incident, but do you know why you're still alive? Are you the villain? Or are you just a victim? Or maybe you just accidentally pass by and sit here?” A question from Sister Fikia who was impressed to blame me.

“I'M NOT THE CULPRIT!” my mouth feels unacceptable.

Thanks to the loudness of my voice, some policemen immediately looked at me, but it was just a look of shock, not a look of warning.

“Relax, brother does not accuse you, precisely .. brother wants to help you in life, you must look at life in perfectionism, it does not matter .. but if you know, the city of Artana is confused, the city of Artana is confused, similar to you, when one people demands justice, then another people demands justice, you feel life is unfair, then disappointed in life, confusion somehow ...,” utterance Brother Fikia I cut.

“There is no human being who can understand and feel the suffering of others, it is only empathy, then appear as prejudice, formed through words or help that seem to understand, you will not recognize the suffering of others before you experience the same as everyone else! Remember, it's the same! Totally the same, until brother thought that brother was him,” as me.

“Iya, sister's friend, Fihan, also once said, 'must die to know the truth of death, because who really knows the truth, then he is the truth.“ Brother Fikia confirms my argument.

”The human soul, the human mind, the human feeling, it's different, so don't you dare say that you understand me, it's too stale when you say you understand me, and it's too stupid to say human mentality is the same,“ sindirku.

“Iya, brother understands,” said Kak Fikia who impressed with understanding.

“Really, you don't understand, but you are prejudiced, and then that prejudice raises an assumption, because someone who understands doesn't say much, he will act according to what he should do, but only those who understand can recognize his actions,” I firmly refute Kak Fikia.

”So how can brother understand you?“ asked Fikia curious.

”For what brother understands me? Brother of a police officer, brother only does the duty, only does the formality of the world,“ ketusku.

But suddenly, Sister Fikia stepped closer, she removed her badge from the front pocket of her blazer, more than that, Brother Fikia took a gun from the pocket in her blazer, then, then, he swerved in front of me in a distance of two fingers, put his badge and his black-tinted gun in front of me, saying, ”Take the gun, take my brother's identity badge, confiscate it by you, and if you want, take it, kill yourself now.“ Even his eyes were so sharp with confidence in me.

Obviously without saying much, I took his police identity badge, not yet there, I threw his identity badge to my left, I threw it all the way and probably landed on the grass, then I grabbed the gun, and I put the muzzle of the gun on my temple, even in this case, my face was so flat, I was ready to commit suicide.

However, there, Sister Fikia was silent, her eyes glaring at once expectantly, her lipstick red lips still smiling peacefully at me. We rubbed each other for a few seconds, although in fact, I saw no sign of rejection of what I was about to do.

All I have in my head is die, just die, then die, I'm tired of living, so it's better to die.

However, Brother Fikia really resigned, he was like freeing me to die, it was strange to feel this new experience, as a result, now, I put back his gun, his, I saw the seriousness in Fikia's eyes, yes, let's just say I'm dead.