High School Autobiography (Hero Generation)
CHAPTER 38: HE IS THE MINDSET. (Part 2)
”Sister came not as a policeman, brother came as a friend of Kak Farka, brother came to help you .. Isn't it only women who understand women?“ kak Fikia.
”Only women understand women?“ my ul.
”Hem.“ Brother Fikia nodded steadily.
”May you know, who first knew you? What are your parents?“ ask Fikia to make sure.
”Not, not my parents, they are always busy with their own world, even they have gone bankrupt for the sake of self-medicating,“ I argue.
“The first person to know me, is .. My best friend, Anka, he is the one, he is also the one who knows me best knows me,” I explained.
“No, you become the second person to know you, so .. who knows you can be your friend, but if you don't .. yes, you will be desperate with you,” cetus Fikia's sister who looks empathetic.
His soft words managed to get me carried away, to be exact, willing to press his request. Of course I rubbed it, Sister Fikia had already taken off her gun which I could have basically died since then. Regardless of whether he had already dented it or not, this time thanks to my desperation, I believe.
”My husband is the second person to know me,“ reply I fix Fikia's prejudice.
And in fact, for me to call 'my husband' should sigh first, this is done so that my atelophobia does not stick out, but thanks to my despair, the phobia feels choked.
”Oh .. sorry brother don't know,“ regretted Kak Fikia seriously.
“To be able to understand something must know, and to get to know me, obviously big brother will have difficulties, besides taking time, big brother must accept everything I do and give, he said,” I said by looking at the sweet face of Sister Fikia.
Sister Fikia just nodded without the slightest protest, she accepted my sentence.
“Yes, so only lovers who know falling in love, only haters who know what hate feels like,” he said corroborating the truth of my speech.
I was silent, still casually clenching, staring at Brother Fikia with an attempt to scan her intentions. I would not have if Brother Fikia had helped me just because of her duty, not because of her sincerity. But unfortunately, I don't know the sincerity of a human being, so, I can only be prejudiced.
“What brother can be your friend?” ask Fikia to make sure.
“Friends?” my ul.
“Yes, if you can't, you want to despair with you,” stressed Kak Fikia.
“I don't want to have friends anymore, it's enough to see my loved ones suffer, I don't want to have friends, because I don't want anyone to suffer with me.”.
Brother Fikia just nodded, accepting my refusal.
But, I then said, “Receive my rejection, be disappointed, feel the failure, enjoy every suffering, because .. I have been dead since my best friend died.”
Hearing that, Brother Fikia developed a meaningful smile.
“Iya .. big sister understands, big sister will take it,” reply Kak Fikia seriously.
The atmosphere is still crowded, the bodies of my friends have been carried by the medical authorities, more than that, journalists until the public appear to arrive more, it is seen in front of the gate of my house. The helicopter was still watching in the sky and the air was blowing slowly.
“Bby 'right, sister continues sister story?” ask Brother Fikia.
I nodded in anticipation, after all, whether she wanted to tell me or not, my feelings remained the same.
“Originally you know, when your brother's friend said, 'the criminals are just bullies of society, so death is more suitable for them', but, my sister's boss said instead, 'they are indeed trash, they are, but if the garbage we managed to recycle, then the results can be much more useful, as well as the criminals, if they are built correctly, then the results can be much more useful, the advantage is able to make the city of Artana much better than before'. Well ... brother just wanted to ask, why are you here?”
Suddenly, the words containing the question, managed to touch my mind, basically, I was confused, shaken by this incident. So when my receptor received a stimulus from a question that shook my mind, effectorically, I remembered Loze's words that had been forgotten by my mind's fear.
”You do not understand my talk, mercy is already unappreciated in this sad city, only by violence will new humans listen ...“
”Cita-cita ha ...? I also have ideals .. and yes, my ideals are .. destroy your ideals, then .. give birth to new ideals ... an ideal that will give birth to justice, if no one is able to create justice, I will come back to life to destroy that ideal.
”Nothing evil when we talk ideals ...“
”I do not want to change the world, the world remains full of lies, there is no point in living a happy life ..for what a happy life, when our comrade-in-arms die by his unrecognizable soul, for what is a happy life ... if in fact .. our happiness .. is a misery for some others.“
”One more thing, in order for the hero to appear, we must be the villain, because with the evil of heroism will appear, so let me bear it ..”
His whole sentence was now beginning to be in the shadows in my head, the thing is, I gave up on it because I failed to get Loze to know what independence was, moreover, it was, the death that was presented by him felt like a solution to the weight of the life I lived, even every strand of words that came out of his mouth, even managed to touch my soul that was confused about life, maybe it's true that a young man like me is looking for his identity. Even so, losing a beloved friend, is very, very painful, moreover, my best friend has been considered like my own brother. Confused, now that my soul is confused, what solution should I get, there's no way I should be antisocial.
“As far as you know, Loze already called Kak Farka first, Loze said, that he will eliminate some of his friends, except a girl, yes, because the girl is a precious woman, he said, Loze believes that the girl, with her autobiography, is able to carve out a perfect history, mentally shape the next generation for the better, become a more evil villain, or become a more powerful hero, girl who is not an ordinary girl, if she is evil, then she is the girl, or if she is good, she is also the girl .. I am sure, you are the precious girl,” Beber Fikia.
And so, thanks to that second fact, successfully touching my soul again, I think Loze really believed me, because, he left me to live. It's just, I'm totally confused.
“Do you want to let your friends die in vain?” sindir Kak Fikia tried to motivate me.
”Why are you here? Please answer,“ he continued in earnest.
I stared intently at Brother Fikia's eyes, because however, apart from this place my home, I had also wanted to show Loze to be free from problems, to be able to stand in despair, he said, then being able to get together, yeah! I had wanted to show him the way of independence, but foolishly, I, who was drowning in despair, was instigated by this incident, was drowning in this fate, instead, I should still be an ambitious girl.
So I got up, followed by Fikia, who stood looking at me seriously.
”I was just confused, stuck in my own dilemma, the wrong one looks right, the right one looks wrong, yes, I was just confused, mentally injured, and I have to heal,“.
Of course I am enlightened, if I still have time to live, why do I not use it, the world is vast, and after all, I will die alone.
Then I stepped forward, intending to leave, I would try to fight my atelophobia. Until I saw him from the corner of my left eye, Brother Farka started approaching Kak Fikia, he had finished calling, who called, and they let me walk away.
I, just feeling like I failed to help my friend, that's what made me desperate, plus the words Loze had instigated me, and the incitement I felt in life, and then afraid of facing the future! Aye! I was only dissolved in this incident, because death was not necessarily the answer, moreover, later also surely I will die, I was too stupid to draw conclusions that look like a solution, like a solution, rash in making decisions. Labile. This, the incident I experienced today, gave me a valuable life lesson, that is, I could feel the greatest loss, the most painful failure, just to test, test, test, the extent to which my soul has grown. And today too, I am learning to be an asceticist, or rather, to be an asceticist.
But a policeman, a well-bodied man confronted me, saying, ”You must not go anywhere, the case is not finished.“
Within three feet I looked up to see his face, which I stared intently at, the stern-faced man, who was looking at me in a fit of criticism. However, all of a sudden, from behind my back, the voice of Brother Fikia, had made the police in front of me switch their eyes on Brother Fikia.
”Let him go! He's innocent!“ said Kak Fikia loudly and steadily.
”No, no witness.“ With a heavy voice, the police in front of me refused in disbelief.
”I can assure you, the boy is not the culprit! If it's true that he did it, I'm ready to be fired with disrespect, I'm betting on my own job!“ reply Brother Fikia full of confidence.
But the policeman was stunned, pondering over the words of Fikia, until somehow he was pensive, then the police said, ”Oke, if this girl messed around, then, you and this girl got a punishment worth.“
There was no meaningful response from Fikia. So I continued to walk towards the front of the gate, which had indeed been shrouded by curious humans. I am curious about this historic event. Worse, I'll face them.
More than that, the entire police here started looking at me warily and astonished. But, apathy with that, today, this very second, I, will fight my atelophobia. Right, I'm going to visit my husband, and I hope that there, I get even stronger reasons for my survival.
The war did not present independence but instead gave birth to new suffering
The war demanded justice but instead formed a grudge
Little girls peace will not be formed because they still feel they have
The little girl of idols is egoism
God's little girl is no law, you are no one
Little girl rise up God belongs to no one and no reason to fight
Come up little girls adults cannot be expected
Because war does not necessarily form justice
