High School Autobiography (Hero Generation)

CHAPTER 15: NOT PSYCHOTHERAPY ...

         All the remaining time has been spent alone with my husband, the cold night accompanied by heavy rain has passed. The day has changed, moving on to my next routine.

On Tuesday, as school resumed, at 12:05pm, white clouds and ash clouds appeared side by side, but the blazing sun continued to stretch this afternoon, the second hour of rest, and so on, which is used for lunch with friends, despite the fact that not all lunch.

Like I was sitting on my desk chair. Wooden tables nuanced white in this school is devoted to individuals, with a roof table that can be opened like a window, classroom 12ku is also nuanced white blue, blue, the floor of the ceramic that looks as white as the sun during the day, the wall behind the classroom is filled with photos of students in the 12th grade, the current school year, plus the unique ornaments that according to the people of Artana city is a work of artistic art but in my opinion, it is just a waste that is considered beautiful.

I am busy playing online games via mobile, Role Playing Game (RPG) type games are the games I like the most.

But I snapped from my concentration, when a memory slapped me. Recalling yesterday's incident, about the strange question of Teacher Sukada, made me put my phone in my skirt pocket, until the urge to ask my friend immediately made me rise from sitting.

I wiggled until I turned 180 degrees to find out who was present in this class, there were only five boys in the class, they are busy with their cell phones.

But I was undaunted, I approached them one by one to ask, why did they want to read the book yesterday?

The first person, at the third table leaning against the wall, was Elpan the somewhat perverted man, the most handsome man in this school, I stood beside him to investigate.

“What's the matter dear?” asked Elpan in a soft tone to put on a slightly strange face in my opinion.

“Why did you yesterday want to read?” without further ado, I asked a question that seemed strange.

Until I saw both Elpan's eyebrows raised in confusion, but he soon nodded, as if he was wondering what was the right sentence to answer my strange question.

His eyeballs were directed forward with a brooding look before Elpan spoke.

“Marketing, yes ... just curious, you also must be curious why the books are separate and hidden from the main library.”

What a reasonable answer, which I think so. Next, was Anterta the madman who was my second target.

The same question I was pondering, but, the answer was a bit strange, so going away from her was the right thing, after all, the essence of Anterta's answer was curious as well. The third person I went to, he was Oteda, and the answer to my question was the same as the previous two people, curious, as well as Loze and Perto whose answer was curious.

But I was not finished, I stepped out of class to meet one by one my friends, this was all done to get an opinion of what my friends had to read a book.

Every second I passed in question after question, and answer after answer I received made me draw conclusions.

Yes, all 12th graders I have asked one by one, including Anka. And of all the answers I received, high curiosity was the reason they were willing to read, even though they initially thought they were reluctant to read, only when they found out there was a secret room, but they were not, the desire to read also appeared, precisely curious.

Now I can sit in my seat of pride again, sitting quietly because Master Sukada's question has been answered, until I don't feel like I've spent about 30 minutes just asking questions and about 10 minutes the bell will ring.

During those ten minutes, I spent the time to continue my favorite game, enjoying every excitement presented by a game for the sake of expressing my joy today, until I was indifferent to the atmosphere around, so I was indifferent to the atmosphere around, it struck me that the bell had rang. School lessons will continue.

Yes, the lesson continued, and the time back to do the rounds tirelessly, the cheerful me today was still breathing a breath of gratitude, but even though it felt like school time today had been spent, I still had to breathe, I couldn't stop immediately, because on Tuesday this is Guru Sukada will help or precisely check for class 12 phobia disease.

At 14:07 pm in the hot weather, complete with white clouds perched in the blue sky, when all students are allowed to pitch to their place of contest.

I, Nuita, Tozka, Ovy, Loze, Cludy, Anka, and Wisty, were still sitting in their seats, staying in the classroom just for the examination. A few seconds later, Guru Sukada entered the classroom, his formal appearance is still used, he also carries a suitcase of black shades of pride. Then without wasting much time he pulled the teacher's chair, dragging him towards Anka's desk. Teacher Sukada will check on Anka.

While Anka consulted, several other students busied themselves with their respective smartphones, as well as me, I continued the online game on my phone, playing it in earnest.

To the point of not feeling, thirty minutes were spent on Anka and Cludy in the examination, and it was my turn to be examined. Teacher Sukada had been sitting in front of my desk, his suitcase he had placed on the floor, we were sitting opposite each other, and only fifteen minutes had I had to consult, even if it was, actually, I assume this is just a confidement.

Me and Guru Sukada were talking to each other, there, the square lensed glasses were still perched on the plain face of Guru Sukada, the impression of a geeky man was still plastered. Whereas I just developed a knotty smile on her with the bonus of my dimples bending for her.

“So how are you feeling now?” whip Guru Sukada with gentle intonation plus a peaceful smile to show his aura of kindness.

“Ya ... I am fine Sir, but my phobia is like it is still difficult to lose.” my answer with as smooth as possible.

“Kan at that time I told you, that everything has its own perfection.” Teacher Sukada reminded me.

”Yes, the way it still does not work, I still feel anxious with all the peculiarities, still the defective remains flawed and the good remains good,“ my rebuttal.

”Hmmmm .. but, there are not a few changes that you feel?“ Search Guru Sukada.

”It looks like there is no sir, even the same, maybe even getting worse,“ I said frankly.

”But before going to bed everything is fine right? No more anxiety?“ ask Guru Sukada to make sure.

”Ngak Sir. Just indeed if doing something that is not complete sometimes like the thought that it is not perfect,“ I explained.

Teacher Sukada nodded his head in thought, then Teacher Sukada sat up straight while crossing his arms, his gaze bowed, he contemplated. And I was stunned waiting for what other words Teacher Sukada would say, until second by second in silence we enjoyed, silence still unbreakable, we remained stingy, but this silence was quite dull.

”Teacher, I have got an answer to the teacher's question at that time.“ the saturation boost managed to make my mouth floated the conversation.

It doesn't matter, I'm getting close to accepting it.

”Begini Laisa ..“ Teacher Sukada spoke with a slight bow to try to keep his voice focused only on my two ears.

”.... what is the perfection you are looking for?“ he continued with a sharp look on my face.

”Loh ... Have I answered?“ I was surprised with both eyebrows raised.

”Well, then answer again ..“ pinta Guru Sukada.

Silly indeed, I felt that if it was a waste of energy, but how else, I still had to answer it.

”Ya .. I want everything to go according to plan, everything is fine, and there is no mistake if you can,“ I replied explicitly.

”Nah ... now this way, why when you get ten in doing the answer problem, you are still okay? Is it okay that low value is in line with the plan?“ Teacher Sukada investigated my strangeness.

”I don't feel it's a plan, but right, I'm working on the problem because of orders from the teacher, yes, so sometimes I keep trying not because of unyielding, precisely because of my phobia I try many times to achieve perfection,“, I answered as clearly as possible.

“Nah ... actually it's all in your mindset Laisa, three times you ask about the perfect you are looking for, you answer the same as that time ...,” Teacher Sukada felt his perception was right and seemed to force me to accept it.

“Eh, but it's everyone too, no one wants to be disabled.” I refute Teacher Sukada's perception and feel my perception is the most correct.

“Nah ... that's true, but if it's excessive, fear like you is it natural?” reply Master Sukada who tried to open my way of thinking.

“Ya, not really ...,” I was confused and forced to affirm the truth of the speech of the teacher.

“Laisa, try this time to think that everything is fine, perfect it does not need to be addressed, because without perfection everything is still fine, perfection will come if you do it right, it does not mean excessive, so accept all that is good, so perfection will come alone.” Teacher Sukada was trying to direct my way of thinking.

“Ahk said the teacher is not satisfactory, nothing is fine if not perfect, perfection is what is aspired, when there are humans who make mistakes, must be reprimanded.” but I feel disagree with the teacher's direction, and still insist on my way of thinking.

“Nah .. we go back to the beginning, that do not overdo it, your context includes the disease, your mindset must first be changed .. that's it first.” Teacher Sukada reaffirmed his instructions that I was obliged to obey.

I fell silent to the words of the teacher that sounded convincing, especially it felt there was a point.

“Nah .. if later the feeling of fear appears, remember, everything will be fine, as long as we keep doing right and not excessive ....” Guru Sukada once again confirms his direction and I have to complain.

“.... and do not play with the human mentality,” he added seriously.

I can only accept the advice of the teacher without complaint. Then there, on Guru Sukada's innocent geeky face a knotty smile rose just for me, and reflexively a reply smile rose on my charismatic face, hoping also this smile of mine brought also my dimples as a sign of fine, this is just a smile of politeness because the teacher was willing to leave the time of his life to help my recovery.

So without taking much more time, he got up from his seat, dragged back the chair and carrying his suitcase, now Guru Sukada stepped towards Wisty.

Because all my activities at school have been done perfectly, therefore, Anka and I began to free themselves to go home, actually Anka could have stopped first, but she seemed to be waiting for me, he said, or maybe he wants to linger warm talk with Cludy, not without cause, since my net was shown that Cludy also had fun talking with Anka, though he can also go straight home because the counseling is done, apart from that, in the end, I, Anka and Cludy go home together.

While Nuita, Tozka, Ovy and Loze, still have to wait in patience to be able to go home, indeed the heck they can go home as they like, it's just, too reluctant to go home, too, what else this is a command from Master Sukada for our mental good as well, even my friends also fully hope to recover from his phobia. Basically this activity has been agreed upon by parents, more than that, all parents are very grateful Guru Sukada willing to help without any strings attached, right, all parents are very grateful, the best teachers in this school do counseling for free, and because it is also free that friends are willing to stay in class even longer.

But together, Anka and Cludy had to disappear in front of the school gate. Yes, Anka and Cludy have the same direction of return - in contrast to my intersecting return - allowing Cludy and Anka to walk together until one of them has reached his home.

'KRING-KRING'

In the afternoon in the fresh air, I paddled my bike casually towards my contest, enjoying the ride home in peace.

As always, every time I arrive at my house, I will lie with my husband, if even laziness does not hold our bodies, then having fun is what we definitely do. But for today, we only watch TV together in the living room, enjoying the time while still being able to be alone, because no matter what, anyway, in the future a child will surely be coveted by both of us and before that happens, then from now on we enjoy our breath while still being able to be alone.

Laisa I put my life in your eyes

Laisa I put my heart on your tongue

Laisa I put my soul in your nose

Laisa I put my secret in your ear

      But why Laisa, the sun doesn't rise anymore

      But why doesn't Laisa air smell anymore

      But why is Laisa this feeling is not warm anymore

      But why does Laisa feel my body no more