High School Autobiography (Hero Generation)

CHAPTER 32: EGOCENTRISM IS SECOND. (Part 1)

I crouch still grabbing my hair, biting until my jaw hardens, my weight getting heavier makes me confused.

What should I do with this terror?

“ASSHOLE!” I screamed until I took my hand out of my hair.

And because I was confused as to what to do, I lay down on this long sofa, lying with my head piled on the arm of the sofa as a pillow.

Even for that, both hands clenched clutching fingers tightly, then banging the sofa many times.

Today was the peak of my stress, of course I was stressed, starting from my chronic atelophobia, then the terror problem that how can I catch a terror offender so cleverly managed to hurt my friends.

“ASSHOLE! I WISH I HAD NEVER LIVED! LIFE SHIT!” I screamed to blow my mouth on my life.

Then I turned my eyes up, pointing at the ceiling of the house.

“Why is my life like this? Wh why? Wh why? Why?” shirihku.

“Damn it!” isakku.

“Errrrrrrggghhhh ..”

My eyes are teary, my soul is distressed by life's problems that I don't know the way out, if I refuse to help my friends, I'm definitely considered the perpetrator of terror, and if I help them, if I help them, I didn't know what to do, I was afraid of missteps, which eventually led to the loss of my friend's life.

I bitten to withstand the weight of the life problems I now face, and time continues to revolve with me who thinks of the burden of life, second by second I go through lying down enjoying a life that feels sore, and, at what time I began to fall asleep, but for sure, in my sleep, only darkness caught my net.

And until finally, the day changed, when my body was fresh, the drowsiness faded, my eyelids began to open, the glass window of my house with the sunshine was the first thing my blue net caught, apparently I woke up again, I yawned by stretching my hands overhead, then trying to sit down.

“Whhhoooaaamm ..”.

When I really sat down, I rolled my eyes around looking for my phone on the floor, nothing, I didn't want to let that precious thing just disappear, moreover, my autobiography was on my phone, but strangely, I didn't find a cell phone there at all.

Obviously I got up from sitting, standing around my waist on the white ceramic floor, I was still rolling my eyes on the floor, not even the sunflower carpet I could see. But my phone is not here at all, even though I still remember on the floor next to the sofa this is my smartphone lying there has cracked the screen.

While looking for a cell phone I took the time to turn off the lights of the living room and the living room of my house.

“Haduh ... not funny if the kuntilanak who took my HP.” I groaned until bad thought on the red children in my house.

“Laisa.” Suddenly a man from behind my back calls me.

I spontaneously turned my body backwards at the origin of the sound.

A young man in his formal suit, dressed in a black suit wrapped around his white majesty, had stood in front of me with his left hand tucked into his formal black pants, while his right hand thrust out my smart phone, even because of that Brother Farka smiled wryly at me.

But wait, my phone screen has returned to normal. I immediately took my phone from Farka's hand.

I took the time to check my phone carefully, afraid it's not my phone. But after investigating, this is indeed my phone, and I am grateful that my phone has been returned.

“Wah sister fixed my HP screen huh?” I made sure with a smile while looking at my phone that looked like new.

“Yes, that's the case,” replied Kak Farka explicitly.

“Kak would be better if I gave me a new HP,” I said jokingly but with the intention of really wanting to buy a new one.

“Hehehe ..” I'm a crybaby.

So I stepped onto the sofa, and sat down to check my phone.

One thing's for sure, I let my hair fall out.

But wait, I just realized something important. Obviously, I immediately turned to look at Brother Farka who was still standing in his position, looking at me in his smile.

“He, brother nyelonong enter my house again huh?” tanyaku.

There was no reply from Brother Farka, he stepped onto the carpet, then sat cross-legged facing me, especially he smiled calmly at me.

Brother Farka seemed to sigh, then he said, “Tadi, brother has said hello, and has received permission from your husband to accompany you here, and brother through the kitchen door again.”

“So, please don't talk about my husband, my atelophobia can recur,” I said by pleading and for this my teeth to bite.

“Quiet-quiet, sorry brother is already brash. Brother came to see you, later also brother came home.”

I nodded slowly with a look of Nestapa's face, then leaned against the sofa with a downcast look.

It turned out that it was now 12:15, a bright afternoon, but not the time that made me feel right, but a portrait on my phone screen, had been displayed a picture of my healthy and handsome husband, who was still beautiful, Harfa is so perfect here, I looked at her in contemplation.

My athelofobi didn't attack when I looked at Harfa's photo, probably because my mind was focused on her perfect self. I did get away from him, even trying not to think about it, but still, at the end of the day I miss him, I love him too, yes, I don't hate Harfa, I don't, I'm just afraid of what's gonna happen when Harfa's not bandaged anymore. Fear of Harfa's imperfections.

“Weather today, sunny huh?” brother Farka said.

But I stumbled on no response, because no matter how the portrait of Harfa on my phone, it made me feel at home looking at him.

“Fuck,” umpatku while putting the phone on the sofa beside me.

I crossed my arms, and turned to the left on the big glass window of my house. I crouch back to feeling my life that feels so ironic. Looking at my husband's picture won't cure him, it can't even be that my problem is solved, I thought.

“Sister, have read the terror in your HP, so, can you help?” asked Farka to reveal a fact.

Thanks to her words, I looked at her seriously. Brother Farka sat cross-legged within a meter of me.

“Kak, what's younger sister fun?” but I even reply to Kak Farka's question with another question. It's nothing, I just want to know if he's got a complicated life problem like me.

The corner of Kak Farka's lips was only a small interest, then bowed contemplated, then his head looked up and said, “So don't feel happy when young, brother is always hit by a heavy calamity, sister's youth is shrouded by the weight of survival.”

“What brother ever wanted to kill himself?” many ensure.

“Yes, I once tried to kill myself,” replied Kak Farka briefly.

“Keep what makes sister survive?” ask again.

“So scared to death.” Brother Farka replied briefly without explanation.

“Hmmmmm ...” I moaned by contemplating the words of Kak Farka.

My head turned to my phone, staring at it for a few seconds, until I thought silence was enveloping us. I still think of a way out of my troubles, I must not act rashly, fearing that human lives could be lost.