FIRST WIFE REVENGE (I Don'T Love You Anymore)

CHAPTER 193 POV CHRISTIAN SUHERMAN

Should revenge be taken for revenge? Should eyes be replaced and lives exchanged?

Are we God?

May we be judges of our fellow beings who are also the Creation of God Ta'ala.

Right. There's all a reply.

Right. Evil must be avenged by evil.

But should humans retaliate? Or by the object itself because the subject is bullying?

All is the continuity of life.

Has the beggar we love returned our kindness to us by giving back our alms many times? If yes. The possibility of the money becoming usury because it exceeds alms money which is legal like interest on loans.

God Who Replies our sincere kindness multiplies. But through different people.

I'm Christian. I am no longer young. Thirty-seven years now. There have been many phases of life that I have been through.

Bittersweet, sweet, sour, salty, I have tasted even though not as perfect as others.

I. see for myself the bitterness of my Papa's heart which is wounded by his own actions. Who regretted his past missteps.

Like. being in a different space of time. Seeing my Papa crouching in a dark corner. Crying sobbing sedan looked into my frightened eyes.

Papa. But his lips were clenched unwilling to reveal as much as he was sad.

Papa was sad in his grave.

I spent long nights praying and praying. Verse by verse, letter by letter of scripture I try to bring to the peace of my beloved Papa.

Yep.

I'm hurt too. Even pretty bad. To see and witness for yourself Papa's fatal wrong move.

Papa is trapped by his own crazy steps in devouring the world. The hubbul is too much. Until you forget, the world is only temporary.

What I cry about is Papa's futile departure. Firearms are the stupid choice to end life.

At first glance there are sometimes my shortsighted thoughts like Roger, why Papa does not think about the long term.

Why don't you look at our next life? Psychically and physically, we were badly hurt by Papa's wrong choice.

I can only cry and cry.

Regretting the terrible fate of our sad and miserable family. We were once a happy family. Full of joyful laughter. But now we don't even look face up.

We, the three beloved sons of Papa. And I'm sure, Papa's son from Aunt Tasya also has the same feelings as us.

Feelings of shame, sadness, grief and disappointment.

It's natural for me to hear Roger's annoyance so insolent looking at Papa. Human to me who also has many weaknesses.

It is also common for me to be silly childish behavior Fika in responding to the presence of Dzakki, son of Delan and Viona whom he looked at a little.

Hhh...

I'm the oldest child of Bambang Suherman's genes. My biological brother is two people. And one half-sister from my own aunt. Automatic as the biggest child, my task is quite heavy and big in guiding my three sisters until both of them become the real full-grown man.

Also Herdilan. Despite being married, she has a bad track record in her life.

Being a heavy PR for me arranged Herdilan to be a good person.

Indeed, they were all no longer minors. They're all grown-ups. It can even be said to be mature at his age.

But all like a chicken that is not independent, who roam around without guidance from the closest people.

Is this the burden on my shoulders?

Even I must also bear the life of a widow Papa who is now unstable soul. Aunt Tasya.

As for another Papa's wife, Aunt Catliya, I also visited him well.

A small two-room house and one convection business I think is enough for their small family who had been a part of Papa Bambang's life for about fifteen years.

Aunt Catliya has no children from Papa. So my dependents are not as big as Tasya's aunt.

But I don't consider it a burden.

I consider them all obligations to me that I must straighten out and settle one by one slowly.

Even in my dreams again, Papa nodded despite still being seen crouching in a dark corner of the room.

But at least, this step I took could at least ease Papa's burden in the barzakh realm there.

There are still many tasks I have not done well.

One of them is a thread of tangled threads whirlpool my family especially Herdilan with Viona Yuliana.

The woman had a rope that still snared her neck despite her brightly colored aura.

Inwardly, there is still a restraint rope that Herdilan installed on him. And not yet free even though they are officially separated.

I'm just discussing with myself. Pray and pray every third of the night. Asking God to open my way and my way in order to solve their problems even though they have to be slow.

There was another figure whose aura was more beautiful in the future. Even I'm sure, if this kid's gonna be a great adult later.

Dzakki Boy Julian's. His sons Viona and Delan were truly the bearers of blessings for both.

But if they're still a match, I don't know. Because I'm not a psychic who can read someone's lifeline. Nope.

I'm not God either. Which set easily as if flipping the palm of the hand.

I'm an ordinary man.

Who wants happiness for all my family.

Who wants the blessing of all the gifts that God has given us.

That'sthat's all. That's all my wish.

May my steps remain in His way. And have the blessing and permission of Allah Ta'ala. Aami...

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