Festive Collection

98 EPS. BECAUSE OF YOU, FIRST TIME

Crying, crying,

In ringis, though,

When drizzling…

***

That's because you. For the first time, I admired someone. All I've admired have been philosophers, scientists, or extraordinary people. Then, you came. Stuffing the mind, stealing the attention. My admiration for you is beyond the realm I can explain. It feels a bit, mmm. Makes me so curious, so sour sweet.

That's because you. For the first time, I was acting wrong. Every time it comes to you, or even just looks at you, there is a rustle of nervousness approaching me. My breath seemed choked, where my heart wanted to jump out of body. Does that sound hyperbolic? Okay, maybe it is. But I really feel it. I can't avoid. It's just, it would look ridiculous if I were to be defeated by the gravitational force of the earth before you. So, I just enjoy my body anomaly when I'm near you. Let him chant his own tone.

That's because you. For the first time, I was amazed by a smile that was not meant for me. Everyone knows, you're not the kind of person you're going to get along with someone you just met. Your hospitality to me is just an attitude of formality. Just greet with a curved smile attracted three seconds. Akh, there are also two dimples in the corner, in one go. Even so, I know you're just making small talk with your attitude like that. The rest, lagging behind your indifference. Not because you hate me, but because you're not used to going beyond “your formality attitude”. Your laughter is for your friends only.

That's because you. For the first time, I couldn't recognize myself well. I thought, just by trying to get better, I had met my needs. And again, I was wrong. Even if I never had a conversation with you personally, I learned a lot of new things. It is not about what the goal is, but about how we proceed to achieve that goal. Like a ceramic that must withstand the heat of invasion to become stronger. You, with your hard work it's –which sometimes makes you have to fall ill– reminds me to continue to be excited about challenges.

That's because you. For the first time, I felt like there was something not to say. Admiring you silently, managed to make me smile amusedly. You must not know. I've always been watching you. Your style when leaning against the wall; with hands folded in front of the chest and legs crossed. I'm crazy about your detective style. Oh yeah, there's more. Your arrogant attitude for keeping your distance from me, your seriousness for everything, your greatness in kicking the ball, your mysterious pretentious nature, your fondness for chemistry. It's all about you. It always reminds me of my favorite manga character, Shinichi Kudo. You're really the perfect replica.

That's because you. For the first time, I took a deep breath. When you just pass in front of me. Just like that. As if my presence wasn't enough to prove my existence to you. That sucks, really. Even more annoying, I can't protest all your behavior. All I can do is look at your back. Think how far away we are.

That's because you. For the first time, I was so overwhelmed with competition. I'mtired. Trying to beat you to become a class champion. You're my rival, aren't you? But just giving up, for no apparent reason, would seem strange. And I think the problem of strange feelings for you has included an unclear reason. Dizzying also turned out. It was a strange feeling that made me even stranger. It's really weird anyway. Yeah, what can I do. It seems that letting this strangeness flow is the only way to reduce the rate of strangeness itself.

That's because you. For the first time, I enjoyed the humming inscribed by nature. Integrate it into a more partial form. Understanding each of his romantic shards. It would sound so poetic if I described it at length times wide times high. So much volume that I couldn't figure out which part would go first. So let me keep the beauty of that humming for myself. A sonata from you, who was never held back by you.

That's because you. For the first time, I…

For the first time, I…

Can I define this feeling with an easier word? Wait up! Isn't the definition just to limit the scope of what it defines? This kind of feeling should have no limits, right?

Akh, it looks complicated!

After all, it was not time for me to acknowledge this feeling.

***

That's because you.

For the first time.

I, I seem to like you so much…

***

“Germis, yes?”

There were silver arches hanging at the boundary of the sky. Choppy in groans. However, the hydrogen charge there is not yet willing to hack. Holding back the cumulus cry that was supposed to drip.

Kuhela took a long breath. Allowing my lungs to be filled with air humidity. It's cold, but I'm numb. Be ill.

Maybe I should just stand in my safe circle. Where every annoyance, annoyance, anger, pain, and admiration I only shackle in the expression of words. Creating my world in a different place from where I stand now. I should have just kept this feeling. Or, I shouldn't have let the taste gnaw me slowly.

I'm stuck in there.

I'm really stuck. Even worse, I was lost. Like a sunflower that thinks it can reach the sun because it admires it faithfully.

And I'm back to my identity. To the world of accruals, to my place of escape. Standing in solitude, accompanied by meeting. It sounds very sadistic. But…

But it's more painful to know you're still harboring another deeper – feeling, a more sincere– on the girl of your past.

Not me.

***

That's because you.

For the first time.

I want to keep this feeling.

No longer on you.

Sayounara, daisuki and hito*…

***

Crying, crying,

In ringis, though,

When drizzling…

Just for you, I let my heart hurt, I,

Just for you, I let myself open up, please,

Just for you, I'll let everyone lose their senses…

But, sorry,

I can't get sick more than this…

Footnotes:

\*Goodbye, someone I really like