Festive Collection

EPS 42'S. BE LATE

How hard it is to distinguish between these feelings. When hatred has begun to fill the brain and mind. I feel like I hate you so much when you intentionally make me jealous. But how much this unsettles me. I can't sit around thinking about you. Yes, your name is still engraved in my heart. You often hurt me. Even I thought it was you intentionally doing that to me. I don't know what that means?

Like this morning, you with your expanding smile showcase your closeness to the woman. Either that woman is special to you or just a close friend of yours. I don't know, you know.

Surprisingly, I kept quiet. I didn't protest and ask about it. I'm still too strong for that prestige. I thought, if you still want to chase after me, why do you have to show your affection with a new woman. When we have started to move away and in fact we are still the same as each other want to know the position and location of the feeling.

After a month we are both unmoved. You finally spoke to me. And now we meet and sit facing each other.

" Are you not feeling that jealousy towards me?" ask you while looking at my face.

I still did not dare to answer. Do I have to express my frustration with you. Do I have to admit that I'm jealous? Do I have to reveal that I hate you when you're silent about me? It makes my heart tight.

" Is that woman special to you?" ask me back.

" No!" answer you briefly.

" Yes already! I'm just trying to trust you. But you even deliberately showed me something that made me hate you." I said at last.

" Sorry! The woman is private to me and I'm a coach to her." Your words that make me breathe again.

" I know it! Why do you always make me jealous? And you know I hate you because you don't keep my feelings. I also have a sense of jealousy." I finally said honestly.

You smile, I can finally tell you that.

" You happy? When I hate because you intentionally make me jealous. And this is you smiling?" I said again it feels like I want to get angry with you.

" Sorry! But I'm so happy to see you jealous" you said.

" Even if it hurts my heart?" sahutku.

" Sorry!" you said with a smile.

Maybe I'm starting to saturate every day with you. I want to feel that longing when we start far away. Would you lose me without me here you? I want to know that.

Travel alone, enjoy freedom without always understanding you. Go alone without me having to be tied to a relationship with you. Maybe it's a joke. But I need to join my friends and while I enjoy the freedom to joke, have long conversations without any restrictions.

Maybe this is weird at first. Travel alone without you. But sometimes I need to be alone in a crowd without anyone recognizing me. But after that I met the community who recognized me with that joy.

When traveling alone, you must feel that anxiety. Anxiety because whether I have eaten or not and make sure my condition is fine.

Did you forget? Some are always protecting our steps before we step our feet. Someone is watching us at every step of the way. Don't worry anymore because our heart has His name. He will protect us because we will not forget His name. Although I travel alone, there is a DIA and your name that protects me. So don't doubt it.

Suddenly this chest tightens. I don't know what's going on. Something has happened to the people closest to me. When I went to sleep, I suddenly woke up. As if my name had been mentioned.

The one shadow of that face started to disturb. What happened to you. I immediately felt that anxiety. Are you sick? Are you having a problem? We are far away now. We are currently separated by a vast ocean. But your words have calmed my heart. But now why the sudden anxiety in my heart. What exactly happened to you?

I'm trying to call you. Long time no raised my call. This further alarmed my heart. What the hell is this?

Morning has awakened me. I fell asleep in anxiety thinking about you until I felt unsatisfied that I was going to sleep my night. I'm back to calling you. Finally my call was connected and a voice greeted me.

" Hello!" greet the voice across it but not you. I don't know who he is. The voice of a woman I don't recognize.

" Is this really Arga's number?" ask slowly for doubt.

" right! But her Arga is still asleep. Sorry who is this?" ask the woman's voice.

" Is it not written my name?" manya curious.

" I'm sorry, it says, LAUNDRY MAN. Are you going to take Arga's dirty laundry?" said the woman.

I finally finished the outgoing voice call. Me? A Laundryman?

Is this a sudden emergency? Arga has been with the woman and Arga is still sleeping?

How much this heart cannot be lied to. Sudden anxiety related to the bond of the heart. Now it's ripped off because of this pain. Oh my guess, it feels like this pain is piercing the heart.

(Jambi, February 1, 2022)